How do you find "the man of ur life" is you cant date? ......my parents never answer this question whenever i ask them.. can u tell me plz? Oh yes, and MABROOK EID!
2007-12-24 07:58:10 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There are many ways of finding that perfect spouse without dating. Dating imho is a waste of time and causes more problems than it's worth. Most traditional families take part in helping a girl pick out a potential spouse. They give them time together (never alone of course) to get to know one another and see if the match is right. If so, they start making wedding plans. If not, they move on to the next potential spouse. This is different from dating because the intentions of marriage are on both of their minds, so they kind of "interview" one another, so to speak, lol! While in dating, you hang out for a while, start to become intimate, get bored, break up (sometimes have a kid or few), then start the cycle again, waiting until someone comes along that you might want to marry some day.
My husband and I met at the mosque while I was on vacation, and we kept in touch through email and phone (we were in different states). Our conversations were about future plans, our ideas on life and the afterlife, what is important to us, how we deal with stresses and bad situations, what family means to us, ect. We both realized we had found our perfect match and today we're happily married for almost three years.
Just to add, I was watching a program about an Indian man in the states who wanted to get married by a traditional Hindu arranged marriage. His friends thought he was nuts, but out of seven of his friends that had gotten married, two were through arranged marriages and the rest through dating and so on. Only two of his friends' marriages lasted.... the two that were arranged.
2007-12-24 08:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by hayaa_bi_taqwa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I took a muslim class on love recently. You can "date", but it can't be just you and the man. You have to bring a 3rd party like a brother or someone close to you to be there. So pretty much you can group date but it can't just be you and a man alone.
2007-12-24 16:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Through parents, friends, work, university or the internet
Mosques and Islamic organisations also do marriage events
2007-12-24 16:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by shaybani_yusuf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't answer because they have no answer. They know you should go out and meet people, but they don't want you to because they are confused between what they know is right and what people will say about their daughter dating.
Stick up for yourself girl, an arranged marriage is not what you want...!
2007-12-24 16:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I second for you the good advice of sister 'Haya bi'.
I am 64 years grand pa of five grand children. Back home in society every one knew every one since they were born. Mothers and sister kept their eyes on good boys and good girls for their children as they were growing and arranged marriages making near perfect couples. We have lowest divorce rate.
In West we don't have this luxury being very few Muslims and living far away from each other. So going Masjid regularly is best place to have contacts with other brothers and sisters. They will gladly make it their responsibility finding the right mate for you. But don't make a quick decision on your own. Have the boy's parents or any adult man or woman go to your parents with proposal for you and involove them and approval of the mate before you make the final decision. There is a lot of blessing of Allah in using the right channels.
Remember there is a high divorce rate amongst the marriages that are done by boys and girls themselves even amngst Muslims- here as well as back home countries. Because their emotions involved for each other do not give them a chance to see the negative sides of each other. Whereas parents will see only what is best for you. Family economics is # 1 reason of divorces. Parents always see that the boy is raised by good family in good atmosphere and is educated enough to support their daughter and future children without having wife to be out of home 10 hours a day for work and travelling to work. Girls being influenced by the charm of the boy don't care to think about his ability to support you. Even if the boy is free loaders, she want to marry him because she feels in love.
I myself allowed my daughters to talk to the boys who wanted to talk to them with intention to marry them sitting in our open living room or family room or going out with younger sisters to restaurant or a park but they could never be alone. Boys decided within few meetings and they were engaged to be married soon. My both daughters are happily married and their husbands keep them home to raise children as full time mothers right here in America. My son also keeps his wife home raising his son. He supports both of them and his wife will never have to work unless some thing happens to my son.
We say our women are our jewels. We take good care of our women and do not display them to thieves in revealing outfits. Majority of Muslims are very wise people when it comes to their children and family members.
May Allah guide you to do what is best for you.
2007-12-24 16:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by majeed3245 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am muslim and i have dated alot of good muslim girls from very good families and such and i am 18 years old
but if your parents dont let you are probably to young i my first date was when i was 13 and that was way to young you have to mature and then wait for the right guy to come to you
2007-12-24 16:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋