Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
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Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
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Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
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Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
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Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
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Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
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Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
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Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
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Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
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Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
2007-12-24 07:28:04 · 15 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lmao! Excellent. Gotta work all night and that has put me in a very good mood. Thanks ;-)
2007-12-24 07:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol. i got some of my own too =Ã.
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Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q:Whats the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A:The hooker will stop screwing you once you're dead.
Q:What do you call a lucky break?
A:A bus-load of lawyers goes off a cliff.
...
Q:What do you call a crying shame?
A:A seat was empty.
=]
2007-12-24 15:38:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant.
2007-12-24 15:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by .... 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q. What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a mobster?
A. An offer you can't understand.
2007-12-24 22:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sheldon Cooper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-12-24 15:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gotta love lawyer put-down jokes. lol.
2007-12-24 20:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by larry m♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately that entire list is true.
Very funny jokes.
2007-12-24 15:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by candle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol. another keeper Mechelle.
2007-12-24 15:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by Quizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahah!!!! Merry Christmas !
2007-12-24 15:30:08 · answer #9 · answered by Beatlemaniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha excellent brilliant funnyyyyyyyyy!!!!
2007-12-24 16:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋