You know you're a redneck If...?

Question

- You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
-Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
- The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
- Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
- You've ever been too drunk to fish.
- You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
- The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
- You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
- The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
- You have an Elvis Jell-o mold
- You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor
- You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
- In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
- Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
- You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

- You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
- Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room
- You don't use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you can't see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbor's dogs when they get into it .
- You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup
- You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house....not including 22 caliber
- You can spit outta the drivers window without hitting any of the passengers on the back o' yer pick-up!
- Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive
- You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame
- You own a Homemade fur coat
- Your Momma has "Ammo" on her Christmas list
- The taillight covers on your car are made of tape
- There is a gun rack on your bicycle
- Your brother-in-law is also your uncle
- You own all the components of soap on a rope.....except the soap

- You've ever barbecued spam on the grill
- Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language
- None of your shirts cover your stomach
- Your school fight song was "Dueling banjos"
- You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow
- You've ever shot a deer from inside your house
- You prefer car keys to Q-tips
- You've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle
- You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance
- Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight
- Your screen door has no screen
- You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and you only need one gift
- Your huntin' dawg costs more than the truck you drive him around in
- The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men
- You fish in your above ground pool.......and catch something
- You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub
- You wife's best shoes have steel toes

- Your secret family recipe is illegal
- Your turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer
- You take a fishing pole to Sea World
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it
- Your dad says "Let's hit the road for dinner",and then grabs a shovel
- You ever called your sister "mom" and didn't have to correct yourself
- Your lips move while reading a stop sign
- You have ever written a check for less than a dollar
- There's a pothole in the road and you swerve.....to hit it
- You refer to your dog as the dishwasher
- Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.
- You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait.....and you didn't spit it out
- Your dog's shots are up to date but your kids aren't
- You've ever re-used a paper plate
- You use a pig as a garbage disposal
- None of your zippers have all their teeth either.


ENJOY! ;D

Answer 1

I'm checking the list twice! How many matches before I win?

Answer 2

I was born and grew up in California, then when we got ready to retire decided to leave the rat race and move where we could be close to the lake and fishing and just a very small town atmosphere. So we moved to Oklahoma where they say they are all rednecks. I came to realize that some here are poor and do not have the money for dentists. But that does not make them stupid. They were so kind and help full and accepting of the droves of people moving to lake Eufaula to retire. They mostly raise cattle and hogs and chicken ranches. They are hard working country people. Not to far from us Carry Underwood grew up and like many of the other young people they are generous and kind people. The Red neck image we came to find out is just to be funny. Like the song where they chase alligators. In Louisiana they do not actually chase alligators.

Answer 3

Lol Honey you made me laugh so loud while my guesst are sleeping,here have a star and a Merry Xmas to you.xxx
Lol I'm still trying not to laugh out loud.xxx
God Bless.xxx

Answer 4

That sounds like you just described a typical Ohio State Buckeye fan.

Answer 5

Nice

Answer 6

Cute and funny! Have a star!

Answer 7

LOL!! Seasons greetings from your friendly Elf!

Answer 8

Excellent hun....star

Answer 9

too funny, gave you a star for all the typing (or copy pasting this took)

Answer 10

haha funny thanx merry xmas to all!!!