My boyfriend and I are both currently seniors in college. We have been dating for almost two years, and are in love. I go to school out of state, wheras he is a local student.
We want to get an apartment together after college, but are in disagreement about the level our relationship should be at before we take this next step. We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. but he doesn't want to get engaged before we move in together. I am the kind of person who believes in long engagements, and doesn't necessarily think that an engagement means the couple has to get married right away. I don't even WANT to get married until after college at least and we both have steady jobs. On the other hand, whileI don't want to pressure him into anything, I want to see some sort of commitment before I move in with him. What does everything think? How can I approach him about this without pressuring him? Every time this comes up in conversation he changes the subject.
2007-12-24 03:43:54 · 4 answers · asked by Citygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How times change! The best advice I can give you is that if you need something from a relationship and can not get it now at the front end, it only gets more difficult as time goes on.
If you need a commitment before moving in together then get it or no deal. If he does not want to talk about it right now then don't. Deal with it later when you are nearing the time you would start looking for an apartment.
In the mean time you had better understand what you need, what you want, and what you would like because they have different ramifications. Sometimes it takes a little leverage to get things moving. When the time is right he'll do the right thing or you will!
2007-12-24 03:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you first of all for putting what you need into priority. If he keeps avoiding your feelings on the matter in terms of definite plans of committment, i suggest you do what you need to first. In other words, "ok honey no pressure for a ring yet understand that ido not feel comfortable living with you under such circumstances. i'm not asking you to propose but you'll have to respect and adhere to my feelings and decisions as much as i'm adhering to yours." See what happens from there and if there is some pain attached to it be neither surprised nor backtrack your words. You'll then see if the relationship will last and how much he respects the thoughts and feelings of the woman whom he loves, cherishes and wants to spend the rest of his life with. Good luck honey
2007-12-24 11:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by poetressus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you, he may just be planning out your future together before you two jump into engagement. Give him a little time
2007-12-24 11:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not move in with him.get your own place until he is ready to commit to you
2007-12-24 11:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋