10 pts! Please help! Do I have a right to be mad at my friend? Would you be mad?

Question

I always do nice things for my friends. Today I really needed this friend to show that she cared because I felt that it was just me giving and her taking.

I work nights, but I still find time to bring her soup when she's sick, coffee randomly in the morning at work, lunch randomly as well...She always appreciates it.

She told me she was out tonight, I wanted her to get me a coffee on her way home. When I called she pressed "ignore" on her phone and I got her voicemail (you know, the one ring and then right into the voicemail)...I told her that I felt really crappy and that it would make me feel so much better if she could get me a cup of coffee. I dind't get a response, so I texted her twice....still no response. She's told me that she doesn't pick up or call back if she doesn't feel like it.

On top of that, I spent an hour today looking for a cd that she couldn't find. And I got the stupid cd too. I am really mad at her right now. Do I have a right to be mad?

Answer 1

I think so..i wouldnt have wasted that much time on her. She gets nothing else!

Answer 2

YEAH!! that is totally wrong. but though she looks like the evil one in the situation, you should think about what you are doing. i mean, she already did those bad things to you STILL you got the cd for her. in the give and take relationship, you should always remember to give only what is necessary and take what you only need. in this case, you gave too much which resulted to your friend being spoiled. on the other hand, your friend took everything which resulted to her thinking that its alright not to give something back as a sign for gratitude.

but of course, you should talk to her and tell her how you feel and eventually work things out between the two of you. i mean, if both of you don't settle this problem, just think about the friendship that will be lost, also the soup, coffee, breakfast, lunch and other freebies she got will be for nothing.

just don't have the talk if you're still at the height of your anger. the conversation will not go well if both of you let your emotions take control.

Answer 3

Of course you do. Your friend seems like she is taking you for granted and " am sorry to say this but seems to only be friends with you because of the nice things you do for her. You know how to treat a friend but she obviously doesn't. I would be mad and I have been in this situation before and I just stop calling my friend and texting her in the end. She never wanted to help me out in anything. Now I have friends where we all go out and they'll buy me lunch and then the other way around. I think that this 'friend' of yours is only caring about herself and not you. It may seem like you give to receive but it is nice to get something back for your kindness once in a while. Believe me I think you are doing the right thing by being mad... But maybe she has a good explanation. Sit down and talk to her about what you think. If you can't then maybe that answers the friendship question by itself.

Good luck.. xx

Answer 4

You have the right to be mad, just don't be cruel to her if she does apologise. Friendship is a give and take relationship, I'm not saying expect something when you give a friend something but before you really give your trust to a friend or even the essence of friendship try to test them and see how they would respond or react. Friends forgive each other so you should forgive her but before that maybe she's not aware of how she is with you. Why not talk to her and tell her how you feel but don't make it sound like a gratitude issue. Be a friend but and give as much as you could but don't give too much that you do n't have anything left for yourself, you don't want to end up bitter and holding a grudge.

Answer 5

It is commendable to do nice things from the heart for people, but when they take and take and don't even acknowledge you or the things you do, don't get mad because that is want animals do, you get smarter and recognize what is being done to you. Don't always put yourself out and expect people to always acknowledge your good deed, now if you were to hand out all types of bull-crap, you would have many, many friends. Protect yourself as a friend and know when you are being taken advantage of or being ignored. Self-preservation before anything else. Merry Christmas and God Bless.

Answer 6

i'm unlikely to tell you to offer up on the friendship or something yet heavily, if she is getting so offended at you for no longer telling you some thing like that then i'm sorry this is quite pathetic. you need to txt her, IM her or call her up and clarify the explanation why you hadn't informed her yet. Say you have been embarressed approximately it or that she ought to no longer think of it became genuine. Do you quite have a explanation for no longer telling her? yet yeah, say which you do no longer desire to lose the friendship over this one little combat that shouldn't even mean something. If she is quite your chum she will forgive you and perhaps even recognize that this combat wasn't even rather well worth the timee :)

Answer 7

Be mad at yourself, instead.

Hon, being friends isn't about running around getting them things, waiting on them when they are sick or getting them coffee in the morning.... she is capable of getting her own CD's, her own morning coffee and making soup herself... i'm sure she was never on her death bed.

You are overextending yourself, doing too many nice things for others. There is nothing wrong with treating someone to coffee once in a while, or babying them when they are ill. But constantly ? NO!

Do nice things for YOU, instead... save that money you spend on coffee -- put it into a jar for a rainy day... if you want to buy a CD, get it for YOU...

I used to overextend myself all of the time... and was wearing myself thin. One day i woke up and realized i was a caretaker! And thrived on doing things for others -- NO ONE did much for me at all, and on very RARE occasions. WHY? Because they were busy doing what they are supposed to do -- taking care of number one -- THEMSELVES.

They had lives and i didn't -- because i was too worried about everyone else and not ME... these days? I take care of ME, and enjoy it immensely... Hell, i can even say NO!

Be number ONE in your life. That doesn't mean you have to be a selfish idiot.. but stop doing things for other adults, which they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves....

hugs

Answer 8

I think you have a right to be mad.

Of course being mad is not going to change anything.

You do not say in your post what you get out of this friendship. Is this girl a lot of fun to be or does she help you in some way you have not mentioned?

It seems to me that you need to decide if this is just a one time thing or it is a one sided relationship. Once you know that you can decide if you want to maintain the friendship.

Answer 9

Yes definately!! She doesn't appreciate you at all, and she seems really selfish.
Saying she doesn't pick up if she doesn't feel like it is really out of order . . . What if you were in serious trouble or even in danger and really needed her help?? I don't think you should let her treat you like a doormat anymore. Stop doing stuff for her, then maybe she'll appreciate what you actually do for her when it's not there anymore.

Answer 10

Of course! It's NOT easy. Been there, done that. It's just a waste of time hanging out with these people, get real friends who will care for you. I have a "so-called" friend who always uses my computer. Whenever she goes here, she'll sweet talk me into letting her use the computer. And I was dumb enough to listen! You have to stand up for your rights. Help yourself. But still, you do NOT want to be with these people, trust me. But it's still up to you, do you still want to be her friend? If you do, set things right. If you've had enough, say "bye-bye!" and leave.

Answer 11

Yes you should be mad. It seems as she is taking and not giving. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Then you will know how much of a friend she is.