told you that:
He wants separation and he has been talking with another woman on the phone for 2 months and has affection towards her even though they have no dating. He is physical/mental collapsed towards existing marriage and he want a new life.
2007-12-23 20:08:51 · 21 answers · asked by TT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you guys, you both seem to be pretty miserable.
It's a new year...why not dump the misery?
Make a resolution to focus.
Mrs. ... you need to get to a doctor, have a list of your symptoms with you ( let Mr. have input ) and start to resolve your issue. Whatever the diagnosis go online and research nutritional support. Consult the doctor, implement.
Quit looking at Mr. You do what you're supposed to do in a day.
Mr. ... you, too, need to do some research on pain and pain management. See if you can pinpoint and resolve the physical cause. I'd have to think rest would be involved in your recovery.
Make a list of everything that has to be done in a day. Choose the activities you will be responsible for. Hand her the rest. Once Junior is settled for the night, go to bed. Aim for 10 to 12 hours a night.
Research sleep, see if there is anything you can do herbally or nutritionally to aid a rested nights sleep. Consult the doctor, implement.
I think an in-house separation may be healthy for you two. Someone move into the spare room, and establish some space for each other.
You each focus on resolving issues. Your own. Stay out of each other's business. Act like you trust the other partner to be adult enough to deal.
I also recommend a good comedy two or three times a week. Rent a movie, pop some popcorn, let Junior stay up to watch with Mom and Dad, and laugh. Laughter raises seratonin and endorphin levels. It is good for everything, including the immune system.
Regarding the third party: She's right. Now is not the time to start anything other than your recovery. Let her gracefully bow out. Once health is restored, then that is the time to make life-changing decisions. Not during recovery.
I wish you both luck.
I really do think you two could make it ...
Merry Christmas
and God bless you and yours.
2007-12-23 20:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would think he has already finalized his plans with the new woman way before he came to u with it. and how would u really know if he were seeing her or not? they will tell u anything so not to look bad in the eyes of the courts, or family, but in reality its often that they have been seeing the other woman all along. often times wives are last to know especially if the man is clever. men don't just leave an existing marriage just like that, it never just happens out of the blue, its something that's been on going with him and the other woman for awhile now. if it were me i would file for divorce, have his as setts frozen, hit him in the wallet where it hurts, and not bother to try to talk it out because hes made these plans behind your back some time ago with this woman, and often times its actually the other woman who gives the man an ultimatum, and causes him to leave and he doesn't want to loose her love. he seems to care about the other woman's feelings before yours. to make a man leave it takes alot more than talking on the phone to someone, chances are its more than what he is telling u.
2007-12-24 05:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start a love restoration pro gramme for him .
1. apply the pleasing principle in every thing from now on.
2 never show your anger to him again.
3 seek his fancy and the best you can satisfy the ones you can
4 Begin to do things he use to want you do to that you don't really like
after a time of doing this you will notice he is coming close to you to an extend he will be between two people he has to choose from. and try not to mention any thing about the other woman . pretend you are not threatened. just be good to him and you will contact me to tell me this.
this suggestion has always worked . men always need pleases try it
2007-12-24 04:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lt. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him He will Soon Learn "The Grass Isn't Any Greener, On The Other Side". I would also grant him his separation, and File for Divorce Myself !! Why wait for him to humiliate you One minute longer?!! Take A Stance, and tell him to pack his sh!t and Leave!! You can't make him love you. And If he "thinks" he loves "her", then give him his Walking Boots !!! You will Be Much Better off without him !!! Don't you think you Deserve Better?! I Do !!! Good Luck !!!
2007-12-24 04:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that he is a no good, low down jerk. If he was having problems with his wife, he should have discussed the situation with her before talking to other women. Maybe the marriage could have been salvaged. I hope this new girl breaks his heart, and takes him for what little he will have left after his wife gets her settlement in the divorce!!!
2007-12-24 04:14:45 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let him go.
U cannot force him to do anything he's unwilling to do. And as painful as it may be for you (in the beginning) letting him go may allow you the freedom you need for growth and in finding the peace you may/may not realize is missing.
2 let go does not necessarily mean to give up...It just mean to allow him, time, and GOD to do whatever is necessary to be done. The key for you would be to let go, pray and leave the issue with GOD and release it (all of it--the emotional aspect as well) knowing that Jehovah will handle it. As you are waiting on your next step/move, continue to pray and know that "all things work for the good to they that serve the Lord".
2007-12-24 04:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by 4everFaithful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him what he wants, but not without getting child support, alimony and half of the things in the home. Or all of the things and have my lawyer make him pay for the home that I stay in. He has abandon you and the other woman could be charged as well for abandonment of affection.
2007-12-24 04:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Need more info:
Do you have children? If so, fight for your marriage
Does she know he's married?
Where did they meet?
Does she live nearby?
If you want him back:
-ask him to delay his departure until after the taxes are filed.
-watch your money, that it doesn't disappear
-read Divorce Busting immediately
-pray, God is on your side
-get your family into church, maybe he'll join you
-cook his favorite foods
-don't argue with him, "yes, you're right"
-but, don't agree with cheating at all!
-collect evidence for divorce court, his paystubs, emails, etc
-find out all about her; where she lives, works, her church, etc
Consider:
You have competition, so as hard as it is, you must be prettier, kinder, more gracious and charming than her....
Have your hair fixed pretty and polish your nails.
Keep your house clean.
Have plenty of his favorite goodies and treats available.
Start building your support group of your minister, family, friends, church, neighbors, etc.
Sounds like a case of he thinks the grass is greener elsewhere - he'll probably find out she's not what he thought.
Joy to you....
2007-12-24 04:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My advice is to tell him he can have his new life. It is not fair for him to be putting you through this. He can go to his girl and when he realizes what he has done there will be no you to come back to. Move on with your own life, though I figure if you love him this will be hard and try to get over what he has done to you. In time perhaps you will find love with someone more worthy!
Good luck!
2007-12-24 04:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by Onyx ♠ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, get a great lawyer. I would let him go even if it is hard...don't show he doesn't deserve that love from you he already emotionally cheated lied to you and hurt you right here at the holiday. tell him good bye
2007-12-24 04:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by onenonlymanna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋