My husband moved out a year ago. We see eachother, but go back and forth about what we want. He's insisting that I sell my house and buy one with him. I don't think that I should have to sell my home to keep my husband. I asked him to leave a year ago because of the way he spoke to me. Now he won't come back to my home. what to do?
2007-12-23 18:37:30 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You all are right about all of the legalities. It is my house. I built it 3 years ago. I offered to rent it out, but he's insisting that I sell. My home provides me with more security than he ever has.
2007-12-23 19:27:26 · update #1
If your house is more imprtant than your mate, find a new mate
2007-12-23 18:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by Vikingsron2 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Keep your house. He is realizing that it is yours and your asset alone. If you get divorced he cannot take the house from you or force you to sell it or cause you problems about it because you had it before you were married. Keep it. If he will not come back and is demanding that you come to him it is not right. Even though the house is in your name it is where you both lived. It is his "home" too he has no right to ask you to move out. He is being controlling and it is not fair. If you sell the house now and he gets a divorce or files for a divorce he could ask for his half of the money. Do not do it.
2007-12-23 19:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your house or your husband that's your choice?
You also kicked him out & now he has security. A way bigger risk for him. You could rent the house out. You could sell it & have him sign some sort of agreement. Like a prenup but you guys are married. Keep the money in an account of your own.
Don't co mingle the funds & you'll have your security.
If you didn't like the way he spoke with you maybe you can make sure you have ways set up ahead of time to alert each other when there is a problem. Communicate better now & be open about your reluctance. I wanted my true love to come home & he wanted me to stay at his place. I thought he meant just for sex, he eventually found someone else... :( You don't know why he wants you to move unless you ask & he doesn't know why you're afraid to sell. IF YOU DON'T TRUST EACH OTHER NOW HOW WILL YOU AGAIN TOGETHER? to go to his place doesn't mean u lost it could mean you gained.
2007-12-23 18:46:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You weren't specific about how it was that he spoke to you, so I have no way to determine if it was abusive or just rude.
But, selling your house to buy one with him puts you in a vulnerable position, both financially and personally. Once you sell it, you're dependant upon the value of the house you'd buy, which may be greater or less than the fair market value of the house you have now. Since it seems that it is your house, and not your husband's, buying a house with him gives him financial leverage that he doesn't seem to have at this time, in case you two split-up again. A seperating couple fighting over a house gets messy, both personally and legally.
Keep your house. Your husband sounds like a jerk who can't accept the fact that his wife owns a house he has no legal control over. So, if your husband was verbally abusive to you, consider divorce.
Better to be divorced and happy than married and unhappy.
2007-12-23 18:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Duane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now it is time for you to really get real. He want you to sell, because you will then be on his turf. This is a clear sign that he is still the same old person that you kicked to the curb. This is what you do... Leave his axx alone. Plain and simple. I can not believe the amount of men that can not handle a woman doing things for themselves. He didn't have the pleasure of building it for the both of you, so he want you to lose your dream. As soon as you move in with him, the name calling and the same old crap will continue, because he feels that you will have to stay there and take it. Get a back bone. Tell him you are not selling YOUR house, if he choose to not live in your house then he can live in his house and you will move on with your life.
2007-12-23 19:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG DON'T YOU SELL THAT HOUSE AND BUY ANOTHER WITH HIM, especially if you are not getting along, the reason he wants you to do this is when you do that automatically gives him half ownership of the house and he will get half of the money when it is sold, because it is now in both of your names, in most states in the us, all of them as far as i know if a woman owns a home before she is married then the husband is not entitled to any of the money if she sells the house, and she cannot be made to sell it, DON'T DO IT
2007-12-23 18:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by Dale T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DON'T SELL YOUR HOME! What are you going to do if you sell your home and then things don't work out with you and hubby and you have all your money invested in a home you bought together.
You could rent your home out and then buy another home together and if things don't work out you can live in your house after the tenants move out.
2007-12-23 18:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eventually u have to ask yourself whats more important to have , him or the house.. if you truely loved him, the house wouldnt be so important to you. A house is something that can be replaced.. "real love" cant, so u have to ask yourself if you really love him or not, can u see being with him 10 years from now, 20 years from now..etc.. but right now from a 3rd party view of the situation u've laid out.. you dont love him enough, because if u did, he'd be enough for you, not the house.
2007-12-23 18:42:58 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And if you were to sell your house and buy one with him, why or how exactly does that make him happier? Because he owns some real estate at your expense? Sounds to me like you would be ill-advised to convert property that you earned outside of marriage into a marital asset that you might have to split equally with him if you divorce.
If you're looking for advice, divorce him already before he costs you more than just psychological harm. He sounds like a male gold-digger.
2007-12-23 18:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by TK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that him wanting to have a house bought by the both of you is for his own security. He might feel that your house is not his and that you can ask him to leave at any time.
2007-12-23 19:26:32 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should agree with the first answerer and move along with your life. Or sell your home "if you want to" then keep the money out of the bank then file for divorce tell him you had bills if he asks
2007-12-23 18:43:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋