To married or divorced people: 80/20 rule?

Question

Do you agree or disagree with the 80/20 rule (I heard this on "Why Did I Get Married" movie):
You never get all you want or need in a marriage. At most, it's about 80%.
Because of this, we can't help but look outside our marriage at what we're missing, and think that the grass is greener on the other side because we're looking at that 20%.
However, if we go over to the other side, we find out that's all we got: the 20%.
Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

Answer 1

personally, ive never heard of this 80/20 rule. but i believe we all look elsewhere for things we want or dont have. we dont appreciate what we do have.

Answer 2

80 20 Rule Marriage

Answer 3

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RE:
To married or divorced people: 80/20 rule?
Do you agree or disagree with the 80/20 rule (I heard this on "Why Did I Get Married" movie):
You never get all you want or need in a marriage. At most, it's about 80%.
Because of this, we can't help but look outside our marriage at what we're missing, and think that the...

Answer 4

i have never heard of this breakdown, but it makes sense. I would even go as far as saying this could be a 60/40 or 50/50 setup.
The 20% portion you mentioned in your question, i would argue, that while it can fluctuate, the individual has a LOT of control over this. If I have not fully presented myself to my wife, and she in turned doesn't fully 'know' me (as I am withholding somewhere) there is set to be a deficit somewhere in the relationship. She will, in turn, withhold herself. And both of us will have needs that aren't being met, simply because the full measure of faith and trust that the relationship warranted is being withheld. I would argue that the '20%' discussed here is largely the aftermath of starving the relationship.

Now, I also acknowledge that there are some relationships that even if you give 100% there are some people that are just not willing to let go and let you in. This is the except, not the rule. We all bring baggage of some kind into a relationship and we need to learn how to dispose of it in order to give ourselves completely to the relationship.
I think the 20% represents that part of us we are afraid to open us. An open wound of sorts, that we become highly sensitive to. But what does it say about how you TRULY feel that other person in the relationship when you withhold a part of you...for whatever reason.
Think of it like faith. You can't love God with half your heart, or even 99% of your heart, as that one percent represents an area in your life that you believe to be too big for God. Therefore, you do not truly love God. Same here with relationships. That represents a portion that a person has attributed as being more important to them than the relationship they are in.

Answer 5

I thought that was a great movie and very funny. However that is a lie about the 80/20. If you get divorced and married someone else it will be just as miserable. Not because of the person but because marriage SUCKS!!! Can you honestly say you know any married couples that are still truly in love!!! Once you say "I do" it doesn't matter what the situation is, you could be with your soul mate, once you say "I do" your loving relationship is over. Some people figure that out in weeks and get divorced, others lie to themselves for years. What are the lies?!?! You have to compromise, you have to work at it, on and on. If you are truly in love nothing you do for that other person is work or a compromise, you want to do it for them. You want to stay happy and in love DON'T GET MARRIED!!!

Answer 6

I tend to disagree.Marriage is not a mathametic puzzle and needs not to be qualified with 80:20 rule. 80:20 rule is for week minded, self obsessed people who don't understand that marriage is an arrangement where both husband and wife needs to give to get what we call harmony.

Answer 7

We are all at fault for wanting more and not being completely satisfied with what we have.
"The grass is greener on the other side"------a greedy and selfish human mistake.

I have never heard of the 80/20 rule, but I can understand it and agree that in most cases, it probably is true. You never know what you have until you leave it and miss it.

Answer 8

I have never hear of this rule..
personally if your not getting what you want in your marrage, then maybe you should go to counceling and talk to your husband to figure out whay and what is lacking.
If your asking this as a general question,well, as far as I am concerned we will never have all that we want,and we will always want something more or something that looks better because we are lacking something within ourselfs to make it complete.
the world is full of temptations,you have to pick and choose which you descide to take and leave behind.

Answer 9

I believe the 80/20 belief is hogwash.

It is this simple. If a man and woman marry, and keep God at the center of their relationship, the closer they get to God, the closer they will get to each other.

The 80/20 thing is something concocted by the world.

Answer 10

I have never heard of this. If you are not getting all that you want out of your marriage, look for it there. The grass if never greener, it just looks like it from a distance.