How can I get her to be more interested in sex?

Question

She is 47 and can take it or leave it. We have been together for 11 yrs and have great sex, when we have it. She claims it is the best sex she ever had. I have even heard this from her friends. When we do have it, it is one shot and it is over. What do I do. I am romantic and go slow trying to make it last as long as possible. She feels that it is a chore. For this reason I ALWAYS make love to her and just throw it to her. I love her very much and want us both to be able to enjoy sex more often and multiple times. Thank you for any respectable input.

Sorry, Make love to her and not just throw it to her.

First off all answers were great. I have actually done all those things.I love her very much and would never cheat but sometimes I think that would be my only option. She sometimes reminds me of alittle old catholic lady that thinks this is a forbidden act.She is beautiful with a great body and I can NEVER get enough. I would give anything to change this part of our life. I have tried to talk to her and can't get through. She tells me she could care less about it. We have the normal stresses of life but she feeds off them. I am realy frustrated with this and wonder how much longer I can go. No I wont cheat and I am not being selfish. I am very much concerned for her as well as my self. Thanks for any further input.

Answer 1

at 47, she is peri-menopausal, and very likely low on hormones....in other words, there is a good reason for her lack of interest. There isn't anything you can do to increase her interest. She needs to either see a doctor about hormone replacement therapy, or research DHEA, which is a natural supplement that boosts the production of hormones in the body. Talk to her about it.

Answer 2

Awww, that is so cute that you are thinking about her and wanting to pleasure her. You know it's a problem that I hear for women that age a lot...mostly because they are so busy and have so much on their plate that they are to tired to do anything. Either that or ohh ohh...it's the menopause or the MEN. ha ha don't freak there is just a tiny little FACT that a lot of men don't know....women about 70%+ don't achieve orgasm or are ssatisfied completely from sex....men usually hit it and quit it and women are left as the saying goes with the feeling of being "rode hard and put up wet" you may want to do some studying on the female body and how to help her get even more pleasure...I'll add a site at the bottom you may want to read or have HER read. For you, you may want to try to help her around the house so she won't be that tired and so she will have energy to do it later. Try to make it romantic and do more than just have sex or make love...take a shower together, go out to eat, give her a massage, talk to her etc. Also try different positions and different techniques...you know there is this show that comes on HBO called Cathouse the series or something and its not all Porn or not really porn but it's like the nevada ranch and it's women that sometimes show men how to please their women, like how to position each other so that they both acheive climax and so you can hit her g-spot better. Maybe ya'll can watch it together and learn from it? Good luck, it's cool that you are thinking about a way to make your love life better not many men do that. Props to you for that.

Answer 3

Whether she would like to admit it or not, hormones are most likely playing a BIG role in this.
Decreased sex drive can be a big indicator of some pretty serious problems, like thyroid problems, and a host of others.

Try doing a fantasy role play, or something.
Try to find out what the CRAZIEST, most erotic thing she's ever thought of doing, and do it.

I know this may sound a little crude, but maybe she might like you to be a little more aggressive.
In other words, maybe she really does just need a good, hard, fu(k.
lol

I know one of my biggest fantasies is for the man I love to come home, grab me (no matter how horrible I look, or how bad of a mood I'm in) and just kiss me, then (hopefully) take me to the bedroom and either make love to me, fu(k my brains out, or a little of both.

Try being a little more adventurous, and playfull.
Do something silly like buy a whip, or go out and buy a vibrator you can slip on your finger to use on her (or you too, if you want).
Get different kinds of lotions, massage oils/lubricants (I LOVE the warming stuff..lol), candles, that kind of stuff.

Try taking her to dinner, and then to a hotel.
No kids, no job, no cleaning, no tv.
Just you and her, doing whatever turns her on most.

I hope this helps a little!
Sheena

P.S.
If you get the Oxygen Channel, try to catch that show "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" she's usually on late sunday night. Yes, it is a little like getting sex advice from your mother, but the woman (no matter how kinda creepy she might be) knows her stuff!

Answer 4

try starting by offering to give her a massage. make sure she relaxes, maybe light some candles. light kisses over her body. slowly things will escalate if she is relaxed. massages are great to get people in the mood. Start by offering to give her oral sex, or at least kiss her neck, her breasts, whatever she likes most. Also, not everyone likes it when the sex lasts forever. at some point it seems like either you're trying to hard, or it just starts to hurt after a while. Sometimes in the heat of the moment a passionate, hard, quick thrusting is sooo sexy.
Also try talking to her about what she likes, what she doesnt like. ask her what turns her on, if theres any specific outfit she likes on you that she finds very sexy, any special way to kiss her or touch her that she prefers, and a little wine never hurts.
good luck!

Answer 5

You need to do it in a personal way, not sexual. Make some coffee and sit and talk, touching her in little ways, move to the couch and put your arm around her rubbing her neck slow and easy, DO NOT make any connections with SEX. Start slowly pushing your hand down her back and a message kind of way, and really focus on her, her face, her eyes, her ears her neck. take it slow and let her enjoy it. Put your hand in hers and let her place where she wants it to go. If nothing there then use both your hands on her, her back, arms (top to bottom), rubbing gently and SHOW her your in to HER. and respect where she wants to go with this, suggest a bath or a shower and wash her back for her, don't step out of place cause then you just ruined it. Let her take charge of what she wants to do and to be done to her.. give her the control.. If all else fails.. Marriage Counsling. Good Luck

Answer 6

Majority of men will lose curiosity after intercourse given that that is the largest factor you'll be able to present a man . Bad or well intercourse would nonetheless now not cause them to keep . Since he hit you as much as carry a female friend he'd usually sleep with you once more however do not speak to him anymore and whilst he hits you up be quick . One factor a man are not able to stand is understanding that his intercourse recreation sucks and if you are now not hitting him up he is gonna begin wondering . I comprehend it sucks however you already know that the important intent why you grew emotions is given that of the intercourse . Another man will come alongside quicker than you feel do not waste a while on a man who simply treats you prefer a work of meat

Answer 7

More foreplay than she can handle.Even when she is begging you to give it all to her keep up the foreplay.One time will not be enough to satisfy her the more you keep her waiting for it.The question is if you will be able to last long enough for her!