i had permanent sterilization done on Thursday and i feel so confused now. I have 3 kids and my husband and i?

Question

support them ( no WELFARE) and it can get pretty expensive and i wanted to give them a better future instead of making kids and it becomes harder to take care of them. I know i did the right thing but i feel so bad and a lesser woman i guess i don't feel whole anymore. Am i crazy? for feeling like this?

Answer 1

You considered your situation and made a decision. Now support that decision by going forward. You know you made the best decision for yourself and your family. Don't second-guess yourself.

Maturity means taking in knowledge, making a decision, and supporting that decision.

Answer 2

I had my tubes tied after my 2nd child at the age of 25. Not because I just didn't want anymore children I had to take myself and my finances into consideration too. I don't think it would be easy for me to take care of more than two children, other women can handle 5 and more, but FOR ME, two is what i felt comftorable handling. I also thought about financing, I now have a three bedroom house, another child means we need a bigger house, I don't want to move I love my house, it's the right size, right price range, and clean up is a breeze because it's not to big or small, Could I afford more kids, i dont think i could, yeah its possible to get on welfare, foodstamps all that, but i feel more comftorable knowing that I am not taking away from the people who need it much more, so in the end you have to really take into consideration what your reasons were and be realistic. If you knew another child would be something you wanted, or able to do financially or whatever , then the thought of sterilization would have never popped into your head. and you are not less than a women. Look at what you have, 3 kids and husband and u sound secure. Be happy with what you already have, instead of being unhappy about what you MIGHT have had if not. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

There are 4 kids in my home ranging in age from 9 to 8 months. 3 of those children I gave birth to (the other one is my step daughter) and I hemorrhaged after every birth. Everything in life is getting so expensive and it is hard to keep on top of the bills. When my last baby was delivered I had my tubes tied because I knew we couldn't afford any more children and the dr's strongly suggested I get it done because of the hemorrhaging issue and the complications that had me in hospital for the 3 1/2 months before my last baby was born.

After having it done I wanted to cry and sometimes still I have moment when it makes me sad that I will not be able to have another baby. I often wonder if I am crazy... I feel like less of a woman now that I won't have another baby or be able to fall pregnant.

I don't think either of us is crazy. I think it is perfectly normal. What makes us most different from men is that we can create little beings and nourish them until and after they come into the world, if we are so blessed. Knowing that is no longer something we can do can make us feel like there is something missing, like we have lost something that was so very important.

You are by far not at all alone. I wish you and I peace to come to terms with this issue. What I try to focus on is that my children are filling the whole left behind. I am still a mother to them and a woman to my husband.

Answer 4

That is normal, but if you are not sure about it yet, you should take more times until you are ready for it. Cause we are talking about permanent matter here, nothing you can do to change it back. So plezzzz be complitely sure before you decide to go for it.
For my own opinion, if I were you...I might just go for it, it would not makes me a lesser woman, many womans this day had it cause they were thinking to give all the best for their kids future. I wish you the best of luck for any decision chosen.

Answer 5

You get to feel however you feel. It kind of makes sense that you might feel this way. No reason to beat yourself up for it. My hope is that your husband and other family support this decision and are able to tell you how proud of you they are for being so courageous. Perhaps your husband (especially) will lead this wave of support and be your biggest cheerleader.

Personally, I was the one in my marriage to get fixed since it is so much easier to do on a man. It really didn't hurt either. I was just fine in a few days and never regretted it. I felt good because I was being responsible for my family and our future. We knew exactly how many children we could afford and planned for that accordingly. Good for you!

Answer 6

Not wanting to have more children that you cannot afford does not make you less of a woman. I would think that it makes you a smart one. I was sterilized after my third kid and I never gave it another thought. Worry about giving the three children that you have the best life that you can.

Answer 7

I think youre just having "buyers remorse". You did the right thing, and you'll feel better about it soon. Its normal to second guess yourself after a big decision (hence the popular term "buyer's remorse, which many people get after buying a house, car, etc).

Think of the planet's wildlife, who are dieing from the affects of human overpopulation. You did the right thing. You should have done it sooner. Feel good about what you did.

Answer 8

I had my tubes tied a year and a half ago (while having my third baby by c-section). I have three wonderful little boys and we felt that our family was complete. However, I do tend to feel a little pang of 'what if' on occasion. I think this is completely normal.

Answer 9

What u did is absolutely right my dear..
Its pretty normal for a woman to feel so just after having the OP..

You Will get over it soon.

(But if u don't, pls visit a Doctor.)

Answer 10

No you are not crazy, I would feel the same way.
You did the best for you and your family, and instead of putting medicine in your body everyday for the rest of your fertility life. You put an ending story to the fear of getting pregnant again.

You did the best for you!.