Has anyone here chose to be alone all their lives with their disability--meaning never to marry someone? And if you choose to be alone and unmarried is it due to your disability?
Do you tell others?
I have arthritis, depression with it, and bad nerves, and cannot have children due to many problems, so as a result will not marry, but many people find it odd as I seem in good health, pretty (they say so) and they say I am nice and kind and should find a mate, but my decision is no.
2007-12-23 16:38:59 · 16 answers · asked by DREENA 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ People with Disabilities
Curiously, my disability doesn't make me any more alone than I want to be. Although I'm single never married, 52 and live in a group home that caters to disabilities, I don't feel left out or depressed, because there are so many folks willing to help, I almost feel like a minor celebrity. Trying to get time to myself is almost a problem. Don't let depression mar your world view- there are nice folks that enjoy clean, simple fun and you don't have to date to participate. I'm too old to think about a relationship, and what quality of life could I give them on my tiny income? My disability slows me down, but it doesn't keep me from the things that matter. Are you involved in a church? I'm not worried about family, because all mine are in Heaven and the world doesn't need any more people--just help take care of the ones that are here, especially those getting ready to take the big Step-end of life on Earth issues. If you can get around without too much discomfort, join a group or do a little travelling. Don't vegetate! Best wishes to you and feel free to e-mail me if you wish. God bless!
2007-12-25 16:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've thought about this before,but with an exception I already have children.I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Later on I found out that I had the condition since 15 yrs. of age. I'm 28 and single with children and a disability that can change from day to day. I also have been diagnosed with seizures. I don't try to hide my conditions from people. People also think that I'm in good health and will try to get a date with me. Until they may see me in a scooter in a Super-center somewhere. Then it's a different look on their face when they see you in a scooter. The best advice that I can give you : Don't give up. Find a local group (church or support group). I still believe that I will find a suitable mate that is not superficial,so should you but the choice is ultimately yours.
2007-12-25 13:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by Denise79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first I wanted to. I have severe migranes which cause me to regularly black out. I even lost feeling in my left arm and leg. I was depressed over it. I was even depressed because I had bells palsey which paralyzed half of my face. It's hard, you want to crawl under a rock, because you feel you can't give someone what they deserve in life. YOu can't be a great companion.
But actually, you can. Because of a disability, people tend to learn to appreciate things in life a lot better, they love deeper, smell the flowers every day, and love all they have. I met someone who changed my outlook. He always makes me feel loved, if I'm not feeling well due to migraines or their related effects, he takes care of me. He reminds me I have a reason to live. I really wish you would reassess your decision. You have no idea what you're missing. If you find someone this amazing, your depression will become less and less because there is someone there to put a smile on your face.
2007-12-23 16:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should either keep your eyes open for someone else much like yourself. And maybe willing to adopt a child, rescue animals, or something that will not depress both of you.
Or devote yourself to God and Jesus. For Jesus said it would be best if we were not married. I was married once. He became insane and kidnapped both of our sons, even through the court had given me sole custody. So sometimes it can be painful to be married.
You need to open your mind and push out your depression.
The limitations of the handicapped is that of what others put against us.
I have Arthritis in my vertebrae. A neighbor asked me to go dancing with him in 2004 (he was almost 30 years older than myself) but six weeks later my arthritis was all gone. Then he became very ill and died. I got my pain back and prayed to God and asked Why had he given it back? I soon realized that I needed to dance regular again. Got myself there and the pain is gone again.
So don't limit yourself to thoughts, move to better health.
2007-12-24 03:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by geessewereabove 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being alone does not mean you have to be or are lonely. I have a wonderful man I love who live 700 miles away from me and I like it that way. I am an independent woman and my disability keeps me less active than I think he would be happy with full-time. He comes to visit for periodic weekends and they are wonderful. He is more laid back than usual and I push myself harder (and sleep for two days after he leaves!) Even after nearly 9 years together I don't know if we would have such a successful partnership if we did live together. I'd be worn out to a frazzle and I think he might be frustrated - but the way we have it now is perfect!
Rethink what relationships can be and you might decide you can have one!
2007-12-23 16:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about joining an adult day care program for adults with disabilities?
Its a place for adults all ages 21 to 90 yrs old to socialize.
I did some volunteer work for a place like that. Everyone is different and people make friends there.
I would call your local human services agencies to see if they can help you out.
They can find you a companion & maybe join the adult day program.
2007-12-23 16:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-02 07:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by polmanteer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I'm that way. I'm a Paranoid Schizophrenic. That doesn't bother me though. But as a male, I was impotent all my adult life. And that has led to a life of pain and misery. But life goes on and I'm 52 now so I just don't care anymore. My best friend keeps pushing me to get a girlfriend but I tell him no, I don't want to face my problems anymore than I have to. Hes never been impotent Its no fun whatsoever and now the drugs they have for it make you go blind. Its a nowin situation
2007-12-24 03:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that as I am permanently physically disabled and single at 58 because most women reject me.So I have joined Ascotworld and D4D and hope to meet a lady.There are many of us at Ascotworld looking for love.You could have a look at www.ascotworld . com matchmakers section.
2007-12-23 17:23:35 · answer #9 · answered by starone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your decision is up to you, but it sounds to me as though you are using your disabilities as an excuse not to take any kind of emotional risk. Your life could be much richer than it is if you were more open to the many ways that human beings can relate to each other.
2007-12-23 21:24:39 · answer #10 · answered by RE 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋