Me and my boyfriend broke up 3 weeks ago. i can count down the hrs, minutes and seconds but i'm not going to. but anyway. we talked about getting back together and decided aginst it as we are 14 and want to be friends. i'm extremly happy and grateful that we are as good of friends as we still are(walk to classes together, hang out, talk on aim all the time). but today, for some dumb reason, when i knew that i wasnt over him yet, not even close to being over him, i looked at some old convos we had had on aim. things like the first time he did the <3 thing to me, and telling me i'm awesome, and that i was the best present ever, things like that. and i have been crying ever since. i cant stand it anymore. what are some things that i can do to try and get over him???? and dont include getting a new bf, thats not gonna happen for awhile.
2007-12-23 16:01:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i never said i was gonna have sex. the only reason we broke up is cause of pressures from school and my parents. not sex!
2007-12-24 05:51:55 · update #1
honestly , and i was in your postition, it just takes time. What i found helpful was to just take some time away from him, the more your around him the more you want him back, then once i wasn't obsesssed over him anymore i tried regaining our friendship. You will never forget what happened between you two, but you just gotta look back at thoughs times and say hey, it was awsome while it lasted, but now i have to look forward to what is going to happen in the future. It is okay to be mad or sad or whatever emotion you are feeling. It is a loss, not like someone dieing, but a loss none the less. When people tell you "just move on" it doesn't work. Don't keep telling yourself to hate him or that you don't like him if you really do. Its not going to do anything. And when you are finaly ready, just let go. It could be a week, a month, a couple months, a year before you get over him, but you gotta be strong girl! Try writing in a diary and getting some new hobbies to keep you preocupied. The hobbies so that you can be happy and have fun, and the diary/journal to let out all your feelings and thoughts so they don't just bottle up.
i truly do know how this feels, and i reallly hope my advice helped a little. =) happy holidays!
2007-12-23 16:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think you are too young to be dating anyway, but that's beside the point.
First thing you need to do is DELETE all of your old messages. If you keep them, you will constantly be tempted to look at them and it will bring back feelings.
Next, spend more time with other friends. It's great that you are able to be friends with him still, but honestly hanging around him all the time is just going to make you feel like you are still dating. Then, when you remember you're not, it's just going to hurt.
Finally, keep reminding yourself that you broke up for a reason. It obviously wasn't working out for some reason, so this was probably for the better.
Fortunately, as you get older you will meet tons of great guys, and hopefully have a few good boyfriends. Unfortunately, you will most likely have your heart broken a couple more times before you finally find "the one". Remember to stay strong, everything happens for a reason, and never have any regrets. I wish I could tell you it gets better when you're older, but it doesn't. Just know that you WILL find the one for you someday, and he will make all the exes worth it!
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-12-23 16:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Mikey's Mommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been there, done that, and got the scares on my heart to proove it doll. Getting a new bf will not do the trick. The first thing you need to do is STOP seeing him even as a friend, until you do that your heart will not be able to heal. I bet he is feeling the same way and he could use the space too. In the time away from each other you may learn that you just can't live with out the other or you will reafirm the reason you broke up. Either way you need space.
2007-12-23 16:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be having sex before you get married. If you and your ex-boyfriend are still friends, what's the problem? Stay friends, then get married by the time you are ready.
You may say that it will take years until you can get married. However, if you manage to remain a really good friend and perhaps to make him get engaged (or just promise he'll marry you), he may well marry you rather than some girl he is seeing just for sex and who is not waiting for him for such a long time. You can't count on him not to sleep with anybody else for a few years, but if his feelings for you are sincere, you'll get him. If not, at least you would have maintained your chastity, relatively speaking, since it looks like you did some things with him.
If you are sure you really want to get over him, maybe you could become born-again Christian, Muslim, etc.
2007-12-23 17:11:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to get out more and hang with your friends and try to experience a new life. Also you can't hang on to old memories and eventually you're going to have to start getting rid of all the stuff he ever gave you and the convos otherwise you won't be able to forget him!
2007-12-23 16:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by fYi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's like that for everyone, for every break up. It's like you're in mourning for a while, and it eventually passes.
I've known people who actually have funerals for old relationships, bury a box of mementos, say some final words, and walk away from the grave. It helped them, might be worth a try for you?
2007-12-24 04:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends friends friends! you definitely need a girls night! i know it's hard to end a relationship but it will get easier, trust me. and remember, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. you're only 14, i'm sure you will have many more relationships, some good, some bad. but just remember everything happens for a reason.
2007-12-23 16:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by Amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.... we all go through a period of "grief" after a relationship ends... because we are sad, and it's not uncommon. think about it, we dont' just toss our feelings into the trash when we break up. it's impossible!
you are crying because you're sad. time will heal these feelings.
keep the good memories and thoughts in your heart... everyone walks into and out of our lives for a reason.
take care.
2007-12-23 18:50:28 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to get over him you have to:
drink 10 cups of hot chocolate in a row
watch 5 hillary duff movies
dance in the rain untill you get a cold
by a stuffed kangaroo
ask 10 more questions on Answers
make a new email adress
sabotage your ex witth annoying messages
poke holes in your back yard
2007-12-23 20:45:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anna L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try focusing on little goals you want to set for yourself. Focus on school and friends. Hopefully, this will get your mind off him. Also, try signing up for a new activity.
Good luck!
2007-12-23 16:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋