Ok have a friend that is 44 and she never dates, never wants to marry. She likes to be alone period. Now, is this a bad thing for when she gets older and has health problems and needs assistance or a husband?
2007-12-23 16:00:46 · 35 answers · asked by DREENA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Asking here because you married people would know the answer to this.
2007-12-23 16:01:08 · update #1
I've married, now divorced and must say I have less stress/health problems as I did while married. So enjoy my freedom.
It's great not having to cater/compromise/worry if the beds aren't made or the towels aren't hung right, or worry about spending $ on myself.
When I get old and when I nn assistance, I'll hire an aide. I am thankful to have many friends and family who care about me.
I can understand people who have always been w/a mate to wonder why other's would want to be alone, but some of us are perfectly content.
2007-12-23 16:16:53 · answer #1 · answered by TVL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. I have known plenty of people that have never married or dated at this age and they are happy. I say if you are happy then why ruin that by getting married because someone says that will be the only way to go. Plus spouses aren't always a guarantee they will be there for you when you need them in your old age or at any age. Life is too short to fall into what society thinks is acceptable and what isn't or what makes a person happy or not happy or what is good or what is bad. Let your friend alone.
2007-12-23 16:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, this is not a bad thing if your friend is fine with it.
There could be several reason for her wanting to be single...
was sexually abused as a child, gay but in the closest, in a long term relationship but got hurt???
If your close enough to her ask her about some of these things.
If your not that close - leave her be.
She may have made plans for when she gets older and needs help - maybe she has a savings plan to pay someone??
Does she seem sad to you or lonely? If not, she is living her life like she wants and that should be OK with you if you are her friend just accept her as she is.
2007-12-23 16:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look I'm not married, and I'm supposing a little too young at 15 to know anything at all but if thats what your friend really and truly wants then thats ok. Being her friend you will be there for her. I like being alone too and sometimes I feel scared that oneday I am going to have to commit to someone with my heart and soul and I'm not sure that anyone out there is going to understand me. But when you find someone special that all disappears and your friend might find that person that is right for her and she might completely change her mind. Or she will stay alone but thats not a bad thing, if she's enjoying life and has good family and friends to support her she's not completely alone, now is she?
~JJ~
2007-12-23 16:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you are reading a lot write ups here in this forum. What does it tell you? There are problems.
if one wants to stay single, there is nothing really wrong with that. Just for the reasons you mentioned, it is not advisable to jump into marriage.
I know a lot of people who are staying single and have had very fulfilling life. This one person I know, never bought a car, never bought a TV and she just retired at 65. Owns a beautiful condo over looking the lake.
All her life she never had even a boy friend. She is healthy, has no other problems, travels a lot and leads a very contended life. She has a huge circle of friends and she socializes a lot. Gets invited to parties and she invites them over for a dinner etc...She is a very interesting person to have around - may be - she reads a lot and very intelligent and has a lot of wordly knowledge. She is liked by a lot of married couples......
This means, it all depends on how one wants to leads their life. Society does not have to dictate how one has to live.
2007-12-23 16:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People don't get married because they want live in care takers when they are old. That's an extremely self-centered perspective.
I'm sure when she's old and sick, she'll be able to employ a home health nurse. It's would be cruel to develop a life long relationship with a person so that they can take care of you later. ewwwww.
It's not bad to be alone and single. I wouldn't like it, but that's just the way I am. It looks like she just is not interested in living with anybody...s'okay.
2007-12-23 16:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear mind makes u older & patient. Only few in this world who live alone, And they r happy. Everybody enjoy their life their own way. If u think u need apartner at this stage so u find u lifeparter and get mrrried, but if u think u r happy then no need to think about such type of things and enjoy the mysterious world of aloneness
2007-12-23 16:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not "bad" to be alone or single. One doesn't have to be married for assitance as they get older. Besides being married isn't a guarantee that one's spouse is going to be of any assitance...what if she were to marry a man who needed MORE assistance than she did as they grew older?
2007-12-23 17:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married but i'm going to answer this question anyway; it is ok for your friend to be single just as long as your friend is happy, sometimes people go through stuff in life and the thought to go through it again would kill them so maybe your friend is happy being by themselves and if so all you can do is tell them that if they need something that you are there for them. trust me your friend will be fine, and if the person needs help i'm sure they know how to ask for it. good luck.
2007-12-23 16:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by princess@large 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its much healthier for her to be able to do as she pleases and not be pressured into anything. Sure she will need someone as she gets older but there has to be some people who can look out for her. Maybe, if not already, she can get a dog or cat to keep her company though.
2007-12-23 16:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by Lynn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋