I'm 16 and I found out today that my mom has told a lot of people about all of the "trouble" I'm causing her! But I''m not really doing anything wrong. She told them that me and boyfriend were having sex, which we are, but that isn't anyone's business since it's my relationship and not there's. We were at a Christmas party today and a lot of her friends ganged up on me telling me I should stop having sex or I'll end up pregnant. And some of them are telling me that my mom doesn't want to be a grandmother so I should stop seeing my boyfriend for her sake! They have some nerve saying that to me! And I can't believe she would even tell her stupid friends that. The only reason I told her is because when she asked I looked guilty and that told her everything. It seems like she would take me to get birth control now instead of having her friends gang up on me. What is her problem anyway?
2007-12-23 15:47:43 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ooh my god me and you are going through the same thing except I'm 17 going on 18...it so embarrassing and everyone look at u stupid...the best thing to do is just tell everyone off once ppl see Ur pissed off they'll get the damn point....
2007-12-23 15:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by tia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her problem is that she loves you and wants you to be safe, healthy, and happy. You are also a minor, and that makes it her business too. This isn't the first time your mom has talked about you to her friends and your family, and it won't be the last. You will have to get used to it.
The "busy bodies" are also concerned because they are adults and know the consequences of what can happen when two people have sex. They aren't exactly stupid, as you say. They have lived, they have experienced. Not only do they know that you are at high risk of pregnancy, but that you are at an extremely high risk to catch any of the numerous STDs or HIV/AIDS. I trust you are at least being somewhat responsible and using condoms.
So, when your mom talks to her friends, it is because she is scared about what is going to happen. She is also very sad that you are no longer her little girl. You have made a very grown up decision. Have you asked her to take you to get birth control. Since you are going to have sex, tell her that you would rather be protected not just by using condoms, but with birth control. And if she doesn't want to "assist", then you need to go to Planned Parenthood. They can help you with getting on birth control.
2007-12-23 16:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by sarlha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're underage and you should NOT be having sex at all.
That is her problem. If I were her I'd put you in girls only school and your bf in jail for rape. Even if he's around your age it's a misdemeanor and he can serve time.
I know a girl who is 17 and she has 3 kids all by different guys. Do you want your life to be screwed up? STDS and unwanted preganancies. Condoms etc don't always work. Birth contro ldoesn't always work.Stop having sex! Wait until you're a legal adult or even better wait until you're married. Focus on your EDUCATION.
Until you move out and earn your own money you live by the rules of the parents. Too bad so sad if you don't like it.
#1 cause of poverty= being a single mom
2007-12-23 15:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're the problem. True your mother should not be discussing this with "ALL" her friends, but it could just be that she is hoping some of them can talk some sense into you. At 16 you should not be having sex. You could wind up pregnant, plus at 16 you are not mentally mature to handle adult situations should one come up. Like sexaully transmitted disease, pregnancy, etc. You should be more focused on a career and making the most of your life. I am sure this is going to go in one ear and out the other, but some day you are going to realize your mother is right.
2007-12-23 15:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by Obanroo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although you may think your mom is being a total, (you know What in the you know where) but she is actually trying to help you. you should also use birth control if you have these practices on a regular basis, you Will get the same pleasure and it can help prevent you or your boyfriend from spreading sexually transmitted diseases like ST D's, Herpes, or even AID's. your mom also might be telling her friends looking for advice from them or even for small talk i know my mom does that alot. if this helps you in any way im glad that it has.
2007-12-23 15:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Q Dizzzle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your mom has basically freaked out on you. And its a shame that her friends didn't explain to her what she needed to do. She needs to get you on birth control asap. She could order you to stop having sex but I think we all know what the response would be, don't we? Can you talk to an aunt or somebody who will help you?
2007-12-23 15:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its called reverse pyschology. She is hoping to get you worried enough that you take every measure not to get pregnant. Tell her you need her to take you to get on BC and it will be the happiest day of Mom's life. She is pestering you so you'll ask her.
My mom had me when she was 18.
My wife had our baby when she was 17.
They both wished their mom cared enough to get involved and got them on BC.
Trust me, you DO NOT want to mess up and get pregnant. Chances are he will leave you, and you will be a single mother living with your mother, dropping out of school to be a mom, and working part time at a Fast Food Drive thru, if your lucky enough to find someone to watch the baby, that you could trust wouldn't moleste the baby while your at work...
2007-12-23 16:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Evil O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she's right to be worried about your personal relationship, however I think she has no right to talk to others about your private issues. You should be smart enough to ask her to respect your privacy to keep trusting her... I would like to say something different, but be sure moms are never wrong when they advice us about our personal life, but it's too much better to find a friendly way of communication. Tell her whatever you think about this situation, be honest and at the same time ask her to be honest and respectful with you.
Good Luck!
2007-12-23 15:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably having a hard time letting you grow up. It sucks that she has told all her friends but im sure she had to talk to someone about it and they were probably the only ones there. as for her friends there probably ganging up on you because it gets there minds off of their own problems. Dont stop seeing your boyfriend for them, just be safe!
2007-12-23 15:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by spatulas_scare_me 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ah, poof, i'm sorry that your mom does no longer understand your prefer for privateness extra. Your question became right into a watch-opener for me as a mom. My international revolves around my boys, and that's complicated to no longer communicate approximately those I look after maximum in existence. It facilitates me to technique my perceptions of what is going on with them and my place expectancies. in spite of the shown fact that, you're good in that privateness, extraordinarily older young ones, is likewise vital. i might advise which you're taking a seat and have a a million:a million consisting of your mom and tell her the form you're feeling and what you prefer and anticipate from her with reference on your prefer for extra privateness. clarify this in loving words as adversarial to being offended or accusatory.......while the messaged is added with sweetness, it is heard extra desirable. I prefer you the final.
2016-10-09 03:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom was the same way. So humiliating I know. I feel for ya. Just don't tell her anything. Tell your mom that since she blabs all your business you don't feel you can talk to her at all and that if it's important to her she'll stop it. I think at your age though you can go to the family planning in your city and get birth control without her and without her knowing it. This will pass. I still don't tell my mother anything and I'm way older than you. Some mothers can never keep anything private.
2007-12-23 16:02:48 · answer #11 · answered by c 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋