I'm really jealous of my friend, how can i ignore her and form my own style?

Question

I get sooo jealous of one of my friends, and I find myself copying her city chic style and trying to be like her
She's prettier than me, richer, has better clothes, has had a boyfriend, she has a perfect family and her parents arent divorced, and she is the leader of my group of friends. I used to be the leader than she kindof overshone me and became the leader, so there's something else to be jealous of!


This happened to me with a friend from 4th to 6th grade, (im in 8th now) and It got terrible, so I want to stop this before it gets out of hand.
How can I form my own style instead of being jealous of hers? How can I shine more brightly than her, to become a leader, not a follower? How can I ignore my jealously and focus on myself?

Basically, all I want is to become the leader again and stop being jealous!
As you can tell, I'm overwelmed with this problem, so any advice whatsoever is appreciated.

Answer 1

ignore her!

Answer 2

You can form your own style by looking in catalogs and shops for things that are different from what they are wearing, and making your own combinations of what fits and what feels comfortable on you. You are choosing to look like her - can you imagine what she would be writing on Yahoo questions: "there is a friend of mine who copies everything I do and wear..." What did you do before she came along? I'm not saying you want to look like you did in 7th grade (LOL), but does EVERYBODY in your group look the same? You can do this without spending a lot of money. Maybe your mom would love to go shopping with you, and maybe another friend if you'd like, especially if you got some Christmas cash.

But it seems here that the thing you are really jealous of is that you always have to be in front. That says to me you can't "ignore your jealousy and focus on yourself". Only when it doesn't matter if someone else is "the leader", will you really be focused on truly being your own person. Why are you hyperfocused on being "the leader"? Does "the leader" get to wear a fancy crown; does she get to make you all do jumping jacks and pushups when you are bad? See how stupid that sounds? Jealousy is about envy, about wanting something that someone else has. You can't "want to get over jealousy" AND want to become the leader again. In fact, maybe the reason WHY she is the leader, is that she is comfortable and confident in herself. Confident people have a way of attracting people's attention, precisely because people sense that they don't NEED it. Because you are needy, you will never get that. So, it is not about clothes or money, or even a "perfect family". If you lose the jealousy, and become happy in yourself and grateful for what you have, nothing else will matter.

Answer 3

Best suggestion is stop spending time worrying about this other girl and just be yourself. You need to figure out what makes a person popular and what makes a good leader and work on developing those traits. When I was in high school I resented this blonde with the perfect hair and perfect dress. A couple of friends and I chipped in and bought a bunch of red dye and dumped it in her swimming pool hoping to fix that hair of hers. Many years later I ran into her-now an adult-and we talked about hs and different people we still knew. I finally confessed what we had done. She said that her parents were fighting and talking about divorce when that happen and she got in so much trouble and then her parents divorced and she was devastated. I had no clue in hs. You never know what's going on in someone else's life so don't assume her life is perfect. Everyone desires something they don't have and have problems with something. It's just that others don't know. So just make yourself all you can be and be proud of exactly who you are. If you want better cloths, then get a part-time job, if you want to be smarter, then study, if you want more friends, then be friendly. There isn't any reason that people can't like her and like you too.

Answer 4

First, your richer, prettier, better-dressed friend with the boyfriend is not what you think. Many people try to put on a perfect image. Second, style is not about money. Don't copy her or anyone else, just wear what you truly love!! Once you start having fun putting together your own unique look, others will look to YOU for fashion advice!! And don't focus on being a leader....if you stop trying so hard, people will flock to you naturally. It's more about having valuable friendships than being the most popular girl.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. You're just feeling envious. In a friendship, it's normal to have that feeling for a friend who's smarter, better or prettier than you but if it's an issue, then you gotta do something about it.

They say if someone doesnt make you feel good, stay away from that person. Think of all the good things you've done with her. And think of all the things that you weren't so happy about. Try to balance it out. If you still can swallow the situation, then you continue being friends.

Or else, leave and get another friend. Someone that can make you feel positive and happy :)

And you gotta ask yourself whether you're a follower or a leader. Seemingly you follow her style and ways, just spoke another volume. .

Answer 6

Jealousy is normal, and in this circumstance, to be expected. However, you have acknowledged your "jealousy issues", so therefore you are now at liberty to change your ways, and become an individual. I am currently the asst. manager of a high-end clothing boutique, and I have learned to create my individual style by reading hundreds of fashion magazines (i.e. InStyle, Lucky, Vogue), and as a result I now assist with the buying and merchandising, and I get compliments daily on "how great my unique style is". I have a very low budget for clothing, yet I still know how to get the most out of a trend without spending a ridiculous amount of money. Do your research, and figure out who your style icon is, and I bet you, in a few weeks (or months) you'll have all of your friends tailing YOU to the mall, because of "how cute and fashionable you always look". Stealing the spotlight from her doesn't mean you have to be HER, be yourself, and create your own vibe ;-)

Answer 7

In my own opinion, I believe you care too much about something you really shouldn't, but that's not the question.

If you want to get ahead or noticed more, do something completely different. If you really crave to be the leader, do something you think is cool and don't look back. It's all about standing out more than the other person. Piercings and dying your hair different colors are really in. Say if you have blonde hair...dye your hair brown...if brown, dye it blonde. Right now I've got my nose pierced and cut my hair in a less common style. I believe I stand out because it's uncommon. I used to have the side bang, but when it became the "in" thing, I got bangs and dyed my hair blonde on top and brown on bottom. It's all about doing something that is different than everyone else.

Answer 8

What i could Do... is thoroughly ignore approximately what she's doing, in line with risk exchange the way you dress yet to not the element the place you need to get new outfits. Then start up placing out with some distinctive human beings. yet do not end band. ok? yet while She Copies What You Do or talks in the back of your back in any way, merely confront her. Ask What The Hell She Thinks She's Doing. then enable it flow from there. yet do not and that i repeat do not turn to violence. She hits you, you sue her!

Answer 9

It's a good sign that you recognize that copying her isn't the way to go. Try to get over this obsession with being "the leader", though. If you are true to yourself, model your style on what truly appeals to your taste and try to be the best you can be, you will be the master of your destiny, which is way better than being the Queen of the Teenyboppers.
Remember, you will only be jealous of those to whom you feel inferior, and no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Answer 10

Just be yourself. We all know some girl that is richer, prettier, thinner, and funnier that we are. You need to learn to be happy with yourself because we can't change that other people seem to have everything. Work on not being jealous because you will drive away your friends. No one wants to listen to complaining. Good luck.

Answer 11

How about just stop? Stop caring where you are in your little group...in a few years when you go to college its not going to matter if you were the most popular or the wierdest goth in school. Learn to be yourself and be independant. Dont follow the herd.