can we really love?

Question

when we claim to love someone, aren't we basically saying that we like the way that particular person makes us feel, aren't we just in love with this feeling we get when we are around this person? isn't that selfish? we don't actually love our love interest, we love how they make us feel. When you cry for someone, who left, lets say you broke up with your girlfiend or whatnot, and you cry while she is having a good time, isn't it obvious that you are crying for yourself?

we do want the person we love all for ourselves don't we?

Answer 1

Yes we can! Your idea of love is too pessimistic; here is a more cheerful & positive view for you:

" In love man has found himself again in another. Since love is a unification of life, it presupposes division, a development of life, a developed many-sidedness of life"

Hegel.

Answer 2

Well, love, according to a standard dictionary is a strong caring and attachment to another. I've experience that a few times, and both the caring and the attachment seem to go together. It's a very complex emotion that really can't be simplified with a dictionary or with an explanation similar to yours. In some way, human love in undefinable. But to me real love is selfless and spiritual. It's when someone becomes a lover of God and is filled with love and can see God in everyone and everywhere.

Answer 3

Yes we really can, but its a lot of work so most of us would rather be lazy and be jealous of others who have the strength to love.

(its a little bit like exercise, the more you do, the more you can do and its not only not painful, its actually fun and good for you too, once you get in the swing of it)

Answer 4

Love is a two way feeling. A feeling between TWO people, not one person. If two people love each other, they both contribute to the relationship and hence its not a selfish act.

Answer 5

To love someone is to put them first. If you truly love them then when something is about to happen you wonder if they are safe. If you say your in love it is meant to be that you will do anything for that someone and if you wouldn't do anything for them then you are not truly loving them and well then you are just lying to your self and them. Love is a powerful and great thing and we should never underestimate LOVE. Now there is a chance that you could mistake love for lust and that is a very possible thing to do.

Answer 6

I think partly you are very right.. In the begining when you first fall in love with someone its because of how they make you feel.. I think as time goes on, You simply "fall" in love with them for who they are.. What they are, watching them change as we change..

I think there is such a thing as love.. but love in and of itself is selfish.. just like every other emotion we have..

Answer 7

Yes, we can really love.

The deeper love is driven by compassion towards what/who you love; not by how good you feel being around what/who you love.

You can rescue animals, help the homeless, help strangers, join humanitarian missions in Africa, etc. They will never help you back. But that shows that you can really love for the sake of it.

Answer 8

Lust is simply wanting someone for yourself due to selfish, physical reasons. Love is truely understanding them, caring for them and truely wanting the best for them, and them returning those feelings to you. Many people claim to be in love when lust is really what they are feeling.

Answer 9

Love is when you work 40 hours a week at a crappy job so your kids can have food, clothes, and warm beds to sleep in.

Answer 10

You are half correct in saying we like how they make us feel. Love is more how we strive to make them feel. That is unselfish because we take backseat to anothers needs and wants.