Most of my family and friends support me and encourage me, but I have one family member who continually puts me down. Every time I speak with her... she says things like "when are you going to get it together?". This is really annoying especially since I work and pay my own bills and am a nice person generally doing the best I can in the position I am in. She is very snobby and I have noticed she also puts her other friends down because they too are not living up to her idea of what a good life is. It drives me crazy. Any suggestions! I can't deal with her anymore. And she is far from having it all together (by the way).
2007-12-23 10:52:16 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
There is something 'insufficient' in her life & she is taking it out on others around her. It's definately not because she is better than you; Although, she may think so in her own mind.
You have to try your best to overlook it.
There isn't really a whole lot you can do about this situation-because, sad to say, she will probably NEVER change. Hence, the old saying, "A leopard never changes his spots."
You could mention to her that she is doing it, because maybe she does not realize it. But, I think it would be a waste of time, due to personal experience. And again, BUT...what have you got to lose by saying something to her?!
Ultimately, you have to try to overcome the feelings you have when she does this to you-because you will be so much happier, if you can pull it off.
My (personal) solution to that same situation was eliminating those types of people from my life. But, you have to be strong enough to let them go.
2007-12-23 11:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poeple who belittle others do it only because they are bored to death with their own useless lives and would perfer a little excitment and their excitement comes in the form of your sadness...they wallow in it ...dont give people the power to controll your feelings....no one should be able to toy with your emotions ...its a game ....but since its a family member this means that the problem wont simply go away eventually if u ignore it you must nip it in the but......the next time she asks u about you ask her about her bored life perhaps about something that will eat her alive ask her why she finds ur life sooo dammed interesting when she doesnt cross ur mind in the slightest...she is an ass im only getting angry best of luck!
2007-12-23 19:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by GUMCHEWER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't deal with them, in other words, I don't even acknowledge they exist, let alone that they're talking to me. If I were you and she kept getting in my face, I would respond by asking her when she is going to stop being so critical of other people and hold up a mirror to herself? I'd also suggest that you are not living your life based on her standards and I would probably throw an expletive or two between "minding her own" and "business," and maybe a certain word that begins with a 'b' as a cherry on top. But that's just me and I can have a temper.
2007-12-23 18:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Quite often when someone does not have their life under control and are unhappy, but are in denial about it, this is the behavior that results. Realize she is not really putting you down, she is jealous of you. She is putting herself down. Try to see what is really going on below the surface and have empathy for her. I don't say lay down and take it, but understand that this behavior is coming from her unhappiness with herself. One trick to shut her up is to tell her she just might be right. It's funny how quick it'll shut her up. Don't go for tit for tat as it will just perpetuate the bs. This is what I've learned in the past.
peace
2007-12-23 19:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't attempt to deal with her. The trouble with people like her is they only feel better themselves when putting others down. I have a sister the same and don't have anything to do with her as she is toxic.
Next time this person says the like of when are you going to get it together, just give her a comeback that will cut her short. "when are you going to realise that you don't feel good unless you are putting others down"
You dont have to put up with this or have this person in your life as it is yours to choose.
2007-12-23 18:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by auburn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who belittle others are usually jealous or unhappy with their situation in life and wished they were you. We experience this all the time at our house. Just roll with the punches and be happy that you're happy with your life and that you can take care of yourself.
2007-12-23 19:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.Blessed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to stand up for yourself.
Next time she says something like get it together
just tell her to mind her buisness.
Just know that if you are doing your best then dont worry what a snutty person thinks of you.
But still try and stand up for yourself and you will be fine
2007-12-23 18:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by Alyssa C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stay out of her way Avoid negative people places and things She has problems that she needs to figure out for herself One day she'll come and apologize to you, but in the meantime avoid her if she asks tell her that you care for her but can't take the put downs Just be matter of fact and leave her presence asap!
2007-12-23 19:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um man i think u just need to be like:"i dont care what u think, only i care is oppinion of pplZ who i rly appreciate"! Sumthn like dis just when she says sumthn nevermind it shes just tryn to piss u off, i know dat kind of pplZ they r called- piss takers ! So live and stop caring about oppinion she have!
2007-12-23 18:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by hustlerxlora12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try and stay away from that person and ignore them if you can. Or you could speak up for your self and tell her how you feel.
2007-12-23 18:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by zoey1176 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋