I have the weirdest problem imaginable. My LOVE for my boyfriend (I LOVE him like crazy!!!) prevents me from getting excited sexually. When he is just close to me, caresses me in sexual way, I get sooooo overwhelmed by my feelings and emotions that I cannot respond by arousal. I just scream how much I love him (which he doesn't find to be a turn on), and how much I want him to be happy, healthy and so on. I feel love in my lungs (like they are so full),and I don't feel any arousal in the lower parts of my body. We are together for 6 years. My history is that my best sex always was with men I didn't love at all (one night stands and short affairs). It started with my bf same way, untill I fell in love. What do I do? Is there any way to connect love and desire ???
2007-12-23 09:23:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's not weird at all.
Your outweighed by emotions and there is no way of switching them off and on.
You're probably not attracted to him because even with love,
you can still be sexually attracted to him.
It doesn't mean that you find him ugly,
it just means that you find him more than just a sexual object.
2007-12-23 09:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answers are so varied and funny.
Okay... yes, that is very weird.
You CAN retrain your mind.
You have to work on it... each time you are in
the scenario you described, you need to make
a sacrifice of love for him. I don't condone
premarital sex, but that isn't what you're asking
about... any mind can be transformed and much
of sex if not most of it lives in our brains.
Ask him to be patient and don't downplay the
use of dark room, candles, seductive music
and being dressed in silky clothing after
being freshly bathed. It sets a mood for love.
You can connect love and desire. Try also reading
some very romantic poetry while together, maybe
even some erotica. STOP THINKING of the sex
with the guys you didn't love. Time to retrain
yourself, girlie.
2007-12-23 09:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you don't love him at all....you just think you do or are kidding yourself.
Maybe your so called excitement is just your way of hiding your true feelings for him.
If you really loved him you would want to share "all" with him rather than the coldness you explain.
Think about that. Are you with him out of habit developed over the past 6 years rather than true love?
2007-12-23 09:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by copious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe role playing would work for you? Try new things in the bedroom, be more spontanious. Sex doesn't always have to be about how much you love your partner, it can also be about the fun you can have together, and how you can make the other person feel.
2007-12-23 09:31:07 · answer #4 · answered by Debi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he starts caressing you in a sexual way comm down and breath. Try to relax and clear your head and try to thing about how good it feels and where he is touching you.
If you keep you cool and relax then you might get excited. All you have to do is comm the butterflies in your stomach and breath.
2007-12-23 09:29:09 · answer #5 · answered by "Foolishness" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is weird ummm ive never felt this way try closing your eyes.. The messed up thing is that he is probably thinking bad like that u dont wanna be intimate with him for some odd reason.. Just try closing your eyes.. I cant really say much sorry hope it helps and all works out good for yall
2007-12-23 09:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by ♥explosive♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like for most of the people who imagine their ex and colleagues during sex.
You can imagine some unknown person during sex with you bf.
2007-12-23 09:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so weirdly cute...and annoying. I have never heard that one before, you are truly unique...but I would recommend talking to a counselor to try to determine the root of that issue and a potential remedy. Good luck to you, and Happy Holidays
2007-12-23 09:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should role play that may help you feel naughty. It seems that is the par about sex that gets you going.
2007-12-23 09:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by Joseph G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roll play & act like he's a complete stranger...then pour the coals to him.
2007-12-23 09:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by 5150 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋