My parents are getting a divorce and I am really sad about it. Why are they getting a divorce?

Question

I am only 14 so this is really hard for me and especially because its around my favorite time of year, when it is supposed to be a happy time. AKA the holidays ;(

Answer 1

Look, of course you are sad. BUT, you can go on to be happy and understand that they have to do what is best for them. Let them work out their own issues. Be kind to yourself. Go enjoy things. Happiness is a choice. Make it.

Answer 2

When I was 14 my parents separated, the divorce wasn't final until after highschool. My mom waited hoping my father would change some of his ways. Only they know why they are getting a divorce, you can ask them about it but it may not be something they want to share with you right now and you may find that after you know you really didn't want to anyways. Do not be sad about it your parents will be happier this way and now you won't have to listen to the fighting. Just focus on school do not get so upset that you fall behind in your studies or begin getting bad grades, just keep going, do not be absent or late and work as hard as you can. Also if you are old enough by your states laws perhaps get a job for spending money. People say twice the presents but.... many families have financial problems after divorce. The job will also help you take your mind off of things. If you are not too embarrassed try talking to a therapist about your feelings it might help you. Good Luck! Have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

Answer 3

Syd, I am indeed sorry that this is happening to you and even more so during the Holiday season. Why? Who can really say. You are four years older than I was when my Parents broke up and the divorce proceedings were very hard on me, but you need to realize that this is happening and you need to decide who you wish to live with and how much custody you wish to have with the other Parent. Our Judge called each of the four of us into his study separately and asked who we wanted to live with and if we wished to see the other. You see my Father abused us and seeing him was not top on my list. He did get to see us some but it was not a good time and did not get better until I was a grown man.

But, the good news is I am fine. I can say I am the man I am today because of the divorce. I cannot say how I would have turned out had he remained close to influence me. Now he comes over with his girlfriend and visits the family during the Holidays and I love him fiercely. He is a good Grandfather and I make sure my children know both parents. They likewise have healed the wounds as well and even travel together to see us.

Remember that they are human and something has gone wrong and to such a degree that neither wish to be with the other. You probably do not even factor into this and if you do it could be that one is doing this for you. Try not to harbor this burden or learn to hate one or both of them. Love them and remain a peace maker. You will make it. I am a good deal older, but if you feel the need to find a sympathetic ear write me and I will do what I can for you, but this will be a crucible for you and a defining characteristic. Make sure when you marry to take your time and find the perfect wife and you will never know this pain nor will your children ever know a day without their Father.

Oh, as for the Holidays. Christ came to die for us and his birth marks the begining of salvation, but it came at a price. Do not see this as ruining the time but gives you an idea what it was like for your savior.

Answer 4

Don't feel bad. This happens to a million people. Your parent are getting a divorce because they no longer get along. You're young, but when you start dating, you'll realize this.

Sometimes people change and it's not for the better. You're parents aren't good for one another anymore. They still love you, but just can't be with each other.

When we are young, we see our parents as Mom and Dad. We don't see them as Bill or Jane (or whatever their real names are), who have their own feeling, emotions, wants, desires, disappointments and joys.

You have to realize your parents have a right to be happy, even though they are your parents. If your mom and dad are fighting or not making each other happy, chances are they have been pretty miserable to deal with. They might be yellinhg more, fighting crying or lack of a patience.

When your parents separate, you'll begin to see they are happier people apart.

Having divorced parents aren't the end of the world. You still have your families. You still have a Mom and Dad.

You still have your Mom's family (cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles) and your Dad's family (same thing-cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles)

Just because your parents are splitting up, doesn't mean you'll have less family. Actually, you may find your family becomes closer and see each other more often.

Everything will be fine. This Christmas, enjoy the fact you still have 2 parents (despite the fact they are seperated)

Some kid's parents might have died this year. Imagine that? Almays remember, divorce is not the end of the world. You still have your parents and your family; they haven't disappeared from your life.

Answer 5

Other than the death of a loved one, I honestly believe that divorce is one of the hardest things that we will ever have to cope with. Yes it is hard and yes it is heartbreaking. And there are no winners in divorce. But life can be hard to deal with sometimes and we just have to do the best we can.
Do not blame your parents just try to love them.
Do not take sides, they are both your parents and they love you dearly.
Try to not say things that you will later come to regret
Realize that even though you would like them to be, that they are not perfect. They make mistakes too.
And finally ( and this is not a platitude) pray for them. God has an amazing way of taking things that seem impossible to us and working them out. By the way it would not hurt a thing if your parents heard you praying for them.

Answer 6

There could be many reason why your parents are getting divorced, Money, is one of the biggest problems in a marriage. You need to understand it has NOTHING to do with you. If anything, children are the one thing that can help keep a family together. Sometime parents just fall out of love and it is hard to keep it together. The best thing you can do is love both of them the same and have fun with them when you are with them!

Answer 7

you know there could be a million reason why they want a divorce. i would suggest you sit down with them and ask them. you are old enough to know the truth and if both of them are there you won't get part of the story or one side of the story...I know it's hard to have this going on during the holidays but no time is a great time to get divorced. just talk to them and tell them how you feel

Answer 8

My Little Friend, Of course you are Sad about a Divorce between Your mother and Father. It is a very shocking thing to think about, Let alone, see it Happen. I went thru the same thing at I4 Years Old.....Father disappeared, and I never, ever seen him again until I was Married with Children myself. He looked us up.
This is something that is between Your parents Dear, and you must accept it. Just let them both Know how much you love them......and do turn to Jesus and ask Him to Help Your family to stay in Love., and always stay in touch. Jesus cares dear. I will be Praying for you and You take care and stay sweet to both of your Parents......It only Hurts for a Little while.

<> Victorious Prayer Warrior<> "jeremiah 33:3"

Answer 9

I know how you feel, my parents are fighting a lot and i hate how its around this time, the divorce isnt your fault, just try to enjoy the holidays as much as you can.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear you are so sad. No one but your parents themselves can tell you why they are divorcing - generally they just aren't happy with each other anymore.

I seriously suggest you ask them to get you counseling so that their divorce doesn't affect your friendships, school and other areas of your life.