Is he more immoral for cheating on his wife, or am I more immoral for abetting him? Or are we both equally in the wrong?
2007-12-23 08:59:52 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI: The cliche "he'll do the same thing to you" is moot and a non-sequitar in this situation. This guy and I have never officially been a couple. I was only his concubine for a short time, and we never made definite plans to be together. I don't condone sleeping with married persons; in fact, my moral compass tells me it is wrong--yes, I was wrong! I was simply curious about others' opinions on this matter. Of course, a few fundies showed up to spew their judgments! How Christlike. [eye roll]
2007-12-23 09:53:45 · update #1
To: AinePrie
Do you think infantile comments really affect people with a triple digit IQ, unlike yourself. Seek professional help for your misogyny, it's really unhealthy to harbor that much hate (and/or jealously). LOL
2007-12-23 09:59:19 · update #2
To: rjb1961
You are misinformed. Most states in the United States have abolished Alienation of Affection lawsuits. Being married doesn't negate one's bodily autonomy--control freaks don't get to tell two consenting adults they can't have sex regardless of their marital status. Morality is also subjective. FYI: Historically, the alienation of affection law was based on the belief that a wife was the property of her husband. How misogynistic is that!
P.S. I live in a state where AOA laws have been abolished. There are enough nuisance lawsuits that clog the system and waste taxpayer money. It's high time you rabid noxious moralists take your nose off of strangers' sex organs, and actually do beneficial for society! That goes for you too, Colleen O.
2007-12-24 06:01:49 · update #3
If we could leave the religion out of it for a minute...He is in the wrong because he took a vow to stay with only 1 woman. He said in front of family and friends that he loves this woman and will be faithfull and blah blah blah. You on the other hand are seperated, technically single mind you, so your only fault was that you knew he was married and still slept with him. Dirty dirty girl...wanna go out sometime???
2007-12-23 09:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by davessac 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Both of you are in the wrong. On your part you can do better
He's married, you can find a guy that's not looking at you like a way out ( for a few minutes).
On the other end, of course he's wrong but he was going to cheat even if it wasn't with you. Who is more Immoral?
I can't answer that question, only GOD, but both of you are wrong. Hope this was a one time thing....
2007-12-23 13:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by Love Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still married when you are separated, i think, and even if you weren't it is still wrong.
You should wait until the divorce is final, he shouldn't cheat on his wife, you should not sleep with a married man, and he should not sleep with a married but separated woman. Why are you separated is it a trial separation? Just get the divorce and stop sleeping with married men! Do you want to ruin someone Else's marriage as well.
Think about if it happened to you, I have no respect for a woman that sleeps with a married man. You need to pull yourself out of this and stop doing it. Redeem yourself, do a lot of good deeds maybe it will lighten the blow you are sure to get when karma comes around to bite you in the butt.
I'm sorry but I feel passionate about this, part of the reason for my parents divorce was an ugly @%!* that he cheated on my beautiful mom with, not only that but then this @%!* did the same thing with my mom's sisters husband. She has destroyed countless marriages and I get very angry if I see her in public.
2007-12-23 09:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by littlemisscontroverse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's the one who actually cheated, but you got your own bad karma by knowing he was married (which means you okayed yourself to be cheated on, by being a party to cheating).
Who is more immoral or more in the wrong matters less than that you were BOTH in the wrong and not very kewl people. If you wouldn't want some chick fooling around with your husband or boyfriend, then don't be the "other woman" and do that to another woman.
Treat people as you'd like to be treated...cheaters are liars and betrayers. Is that really the kind of man you're looking for (even for a fling?)
*shakes head*
EDIT: If you just wanted people's opinions, then why are you biotching about people's opinions? If your IQ is so high, surely you could've guessed ahead of time that 1) your behavior wasn't going to be popular and 2) some people were going to express rather negative judgements of you personally. That's what you got lady (people's opinions)...ya don't get to pick and choose to have only the ones you like or agree with be posted.
2007-12-23 09:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is that really in question? Who would you think is more wrong? And why would one be more wrong than the other?
You were both equally wrong. You both hurt his wife and you both knew you were hurting his wife and neither of you cared. If you had cared, you would not have cheated on her. The key to not cheating is respecting your partner.
If the question were who should she be angry with, the answer would be him. Not because you were without guilt, but because he should not have been open to cheating in the first place.
Take care and Stop Cheating,
Troy
2007-12-23 09:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are. Why would you even want to be with a married man? Is he gonna leave you for her? Probably not. You are both equally wrong. Whats done is done. Just don't make the same mistake twice. What about his wife. Is anybody gonna tell her. If it was me I would want to know.
2007-12-23 09:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jennie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both equally wrong. You are still married, so technically you both committed adultery against your spouse. Further, if you have kids, your husband could use your relationship with a married man against you in court in many states.
You didn't just "abet" the adultery, you were a full-fledged participant. If his wife found out, she could sue you for alientation of affection in many states.
2007-12-23 18:03:28 · answer #7 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't matter "who is more immoral" you BOTH were married. A separation is NOT a disillusionment of marriage, that only comes with a Divorce. YOU cheated on your husband, he cheated on his wife. It's a moot point.
2007-12-23 14:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are equally immoral. You live, you learn. You brush off and don't do it again. It is immoral to sleep with a married man and it is immoral to cheat when you are married. So...there you are. Who cares who is more immoral? What matters is you do what is right for you from here on out. Do not compromise your principals.
2007-12-23 09:07:09 · answer #9 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your both wrong... you should know better then to mess with a married man. is that why your divorced? it dont feel good to be cheated on... not cool at all.... if the shoe was on the other foot,how would you feel if you were his wife and was being cheated on? he was wrong for disrespecting his wife and his family,that he thought so little of them to do that.... if he cheated on his wife,whose to say,he wont cheat on you as well? what comes around... goes around.... just be prepared...
2007-12-23 09:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by oldiesbutgoodies 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋