Is it common for your friends to rehash things you did 10 years ago and joke at them at your expense?

Question

Then when you tell them to cut it out it was so long ago, they tell you they were just joking?

Learning experience for what?

And what are you talking about, THEY are holding onto it, not me.

This stuff is much easier said than done you know. I don't care how strong-willed one is....

Answer 1

It was 10 years ago, get out of the past my friend. If they want to talk about it...so what? It was a learning experience for you, and you are a better person because of it.

10 years is a long time. It seems like you aren't over it yet. You need to be, holding that issue in for that long isn't healthy.

Answer 2

It could be insensitive. On the other hand, friends often try to wind each other up jokingly, and it's an integral part of many real friendships.

It's probably a fine line. If someone is mentioning something that causes you real hurt, then it's insensitive. It can be difficult for people to know that though, and part of the joke of winding someone up is that they do feel a bit raw about it.

I would say - try to see the spirit in which the joke was made. You mention your expense: what expense have they put you to by mentioning the episode? Ok, if it's about you having pushed someone off a bike and under a bus, then it's something you'll never think easily about. But otherwise, are they merely reminding you of some issues that you haven't quite put to bed yet?

Answer 3

It's not common. I have a brother who seems to walk around with pen and paper and writes down every quirky thing that anyone says or does and must categorize it and wait for the worst possible moment to say remember when? I told him that he must be experiencing a low esteem that day to have to bring up embarrassing moments in others lives over and over. I reminded him he has never started a sentence with remember when "I" did this? It's an immature person who has to point the finger at someone else over and over to make them selves feel superior.

Answer 4

I have one friend that does that, she always brings up episodes that put me in a bad light or could be embarassing to me. Plus each time she tells the stories they evolve until there was virtually no truth left.... I got to the point that I just rolled my eyes, and said things like...."it happened exactly like that but it was her"... "I'm taking the fifth"...."Did it, don't regret it, will do it again"..."I warned her I would do it" that kind of stuff.

Answer 5

No, that's mean! If they are being vicious, maybe you should just find new friends :( I know it sucks, but its not worth it if they always make you feel sad!