Okay me and my husband of 6 years have a joint account together. He just sold one of our trucks and I put the money in the account. Well I used 700.00 for bills and presents. Then my husband took out 300.00 to buy some gifts and extra things for himself. When he looked at the account he called me and said that I owe him $1000.00. ANd that I need to pay him back. Now mind you I AM THE BREAD WINNER IN THE HOUSE!!!! I make $5 more an hour then he does. Is this right that he does this to me??? I just want to walk away from this marriage. But I have two boys with him and we are pregnant again with another child.
2007-12-23 07:33:17 · 20 answers · asked by Proud Mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason I say bread winner is because ALL of my paychecks go on bills!!!! His goes on himself!!!
2007-12-23 07:44:46 · update #1
Wow, no. He is WRONG.
And you can prove it.
2007-12-23 07:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by Green Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I it were me I'd ignore it, as it is nonsense and I'd tell him so.
Point out that out of the 700.00 you paid bills that he was also responsible for.
Bought gifts that he is also responsible for.
Took out 300.00 himself to buy gifts you both are responsible for.
..and it's a joint account in a marriage so irrespective of where the money comes from it belongs to the both of you...
so logically you each owe the account 500.00. Tell him you'll put back 500.00 IF HE ALSO puts back 500.00.
...and if he balks, then set up a separate account in just your name and put all your monies in...tell him you've done so afterwards and will only be responsible for one half of the household bills.... and if you need to pay for an entire bill from this account he will owe you back half of whatever you shell out, since he's decided to play the 'my money' game, you'll play the same game too.......
2007-12-23 18:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Pay me back?!? WTF?!?
He's probably thinking that the truck was "his". You can correct this pretty fast.
Don't walk out on the marriage over this. I'm sure it's not the first financial issue to come up, but start with this one. Talk calmly with him to explain how all the money and everything else is both of yours.
If you need to open separate accounts and take equal amounts out of the joint account to satisfy individualism, go for it. However, all money gets pooled first.
You have many long talks ahead of you. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2007-12-23 15:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and he loves you and this is the only problem you have, then the best thing to do is set down together and figure out your monthly bills. Divide that amount in half and both of you put that money in a joint account. Put the rest of your money in your own account. If you buy anything together and it's later sold, then split the money and put it in your own accounts. I've been married 36 years and it's worked for me. Good Luck.
2007-12-23 15:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What happened to "OUR" money.
It may be too late for you to get him to change, but have you thought about having seperate accounts.
1 account for the joint bills
1 personal account for each of you.
an agreed percentage is put into the joint account to take care of the bills and then the rest can go into the personal accounts to pay for whatever you want.
Sounds like one of you may be on your way out the door tho, you're already supporting the family on your salary and he's not contributing to the household, why do you need him around?
2007-12-23 16:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both are in a fight to decide who is the bread-winner or perhaps who wears the pants.
Just as you don't appreciate him claiming that the joint account is his money, he doesn't appreciate being called "not the breadwinner".
Get some help from a councilor. You both are having problems with needing to be the one in control.
2007-12-23 15:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a partnership!
if you owe him that money, he owes you the same!
wether you make more or not, the money is both of yours, not just his... and if you're the one actually paying off the bills, then really HE OWES YOU.
But the money is both, the bills are both, and everything else you guys own, are both of yours. not just one or the others.
Tell him, that the money you took went to things that were needed not only wanted. Unlike that of what he took.
Need comes before want... even around Christmas time.
2007-12-23 15:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. No.
Whose bills are these? The neighbors'? No? I didn't think so.
You two need to talk about money, and soon, before your next child is born.
I'd be laughing when he brings up "paying him back" again.
Actually, it sounds like you're BOTH breadwinners, you just happen to make more than him. And I'd be getting serious help if this is a real issue in your house-- and I'm not talking financial help. I'm talking marital help.
2007-12-23 15:38:07 · answer #8 · answered by LJG 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he's a loser.
a joint account means that there is no "my money" or "your money".
the instant it gets deposited, it's "our" money. and we both talk about it when we spend more than 100 bucks on anything.
tell him to get a job. Then go to the bank, open a separate account in YOUR name, and put all your paychecks in there, rather than the joint account.
Pay all the bills from HIS pay in the joint account.
If you ever have to take money out of YOUR account to pay bills, then tell him that HE owes YOU half of it.
For the sake of the children, please don't get a divorce. Go to some marriage counseling or somthing.
2007-12-23 15:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you allowing this to go like this? If you are both working why isn't he contributing to the bills? I would sit his butt down and have a talk. I wouldn't give him a cent in fact if he isn't going to contribute I would empty that accout out and use it all for bills. Either he starts contributing to your family or he stops reaping the benefits.
Inform him that if he pushes you to leave well first it will be he who leaves and the courts will then force him to pay.
2007-12-23 16:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huh! I'm sorry but if he wants to be like than you should take HIS money to pay bills, and put yours in another account and just show him how much more money you make than him.
Men THINK they can be soo controlling!!!
My husband better think twice if he ever though if doing this to me!!!
2007-12-23 23:18:09 · answer #11 · answered by [Allie & Jude] 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋