Will there be someone at your Christmas Celebration who does not like you?

Question

If I do attend the Christmas Celebration at my wife's sister this year a number of her family will not want me there. I will be kept out of the discussion and made to feel like an outsider. In the past I have just kept my mouth shut and put in my time. This year I am not in a good mood and will have a harder time.

I wonder how common this is in families all over America. Is there alot of conflict on Christmas Day and isolation of outsiders, or is it all sweetness and light because it is Christmas? Tell us your stories of mean relatives who may try to isolate you at Christmas?

Answer 1

Thats sad that ur wife's family doesn't want you to come......i've heard of stuff like that happening but its never happened to me. my family loves me

Answer 2

Hmm, well I'm 12 so I deffinetly know what you mean. XD I have a half-brother who despises me who might be coming on over.

Answer 3

You know, I've come to realize that you just cant make people like you. I have tried repeatedly to think only good of others, especially my family.

Last night, like many instances, when I'm at a social setting and my sister and her husband come, I often feel like she just does not like me. She did not come over to start a conversation with me.. it's always me having to initiate conversations with her... and I often feel like she could care less if I'm around or not.

On the surface (outsider's looking in) she's what I hate to call, rudely polite, but that's about how I feel. She wont out and out put me down in front of others, yet I get this 'feeling' that I am not one of her favorite people that matter to her.

I feel sad because when I think of her, I would like to feel that she loves me just as much as I love her... but I come away feeling otherwise. I feel that if she has a family function at her house, I'm invited only out of obligation...or, I'm not invited at certain things..

I wouldn't say I'm jellious by her relationship with others, but I would say, it's not the same when it comes to me. It's almost like she doesn't have the time of day for me and if we didn't look a little alike, people in a public setting would think we were complete strangers by the way she is around me especially in social settings.

I often feel she treats strangers as though they are much more important than her own sister. Sorry to say that, but over the years, you can eventually come to realize that there are those who flat out do not want to like you and therefore they don't, for whatever reason... no matter what you do to try and make them be friendly with you. You keep trying, and they keep resisting...and you walk away disappointed. At one point you have to just stop trying.. save yourself, your mental health over wondering why they are indifferent.

You actually can get to the point where you say, okay, I'm just not going to put myself in a position to where I have to walk away feeling like this anymore.. it's not worth it. I am not going... Have a great life and I wish you all the best. I dont have the problem you do, apparently

... but again, you cant just say that to a person's face.. especially if ,afterall, they did not out and out slam you verbally they just chose to make you feel like you're nothing. How do you confront that? You cannot. It would make you come off looking like the instigator...You're then the one starting some issue they were too timid to bring up themselves or something they'd categorically deny.

I say treat others the way they treat you - only, I keep trying to recognize exactly what it is I need to do to return that same feeling to them so they walk away wondering why I I stopped trying. One day I'll figure it out.

Your intuition that someone does not like you is, more than likely, dead on. I wish those being that way towards us could have a clue that we already know it.

Shame on them. You keep being as nice as you can be and look what happens. So, to fix that problem, I vote, stay away from those who cannot respectfully make you feel welcomed in their presence or the presence of others.

Sorry, it's just how I personally feel.