I had a baby girl just over 3 weeks ago and 2 nights ago me and my fiancee got a little drunk (as we are tonight) and had sex for the first time since i had her.He said it was great!
I was gone all last night at my moms because he was working until 4am.Tonight he said he missed us last night he is really depressed.
I understand what feeling depressed is (baby blues) and i tried to cheer him up by offering (what i feel like is) my only asset (because i am still carrying some of the pregnancy weight)....sex
He wanted to go at it without a condom but i pointed out that i am not pregnant anymore and it is now possible to become so and also that i am still bleeding a slight bit.
He told me that the last bit was the biggest turnoff and went to sleep.He had no problem with it the night before!
I have NEVER once since we have been together stated that something about him has turned me off even though it has (STINKY FARTS!)....I dont know what to do!
Is it me!or him being an *******
2007-12-23 01:53:57 · 16 answers · asked by CrazyLife 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
SORRY if this is a little too open but i kinda figured as us being all adults everyone wouldnt be bothered by it
2007-12-23 02:12:19 · update #1
also thought as being my fiancee he would be pretty comfortable with this issue of a teensy (im not kidding) A VERY TINY bit of blood...i just told him because he thinks pulling out will keep me from getting pregnant again (failed last time!!!)Anyone got ideas on how NOT to turn him off but make him wear a rubber...im not Birth Contol compatible btw( or i would have used it the first time)
2007-12-23 02:28:10 · update #2
K im not goddamned retarded my parents asked to take her for the night on both occasions im not stumbling around my house trying to take care of her...maybe some of you guys should go back to school and learn to ask before you start telling others not to reproduce, you have been reported
2007-12-23 11:30:09 · update #3
Its just difficult to get used to all the changes of a new baby, and its not uncommon for both of you to be moody for a while.
2007-12-23 02:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by loquitaamericana 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it would be a good idea to give it some time.
It sounds like it's a busy and stressful time for you both, and you are both having to adjust to a very new situation.
I think in another few weeks when you're more set into a routine with work and looking after your little girl, it will be easier.
As for the bleeding thing, i think us blokes can have a bit of a hard time dealing with all that stuff. We're not used to it! Hopefully it won't be long before it stops anyway and things are back to normal.
In my [limited] experience, the most important thing in relationships is communication, so try to make sure you are both talking about things and getting it out in the open. That way neither of you will be able to build up any resentment.
I hope it all goes ok for you and your family :)
2007-12-23 02:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by ImminentDoctor 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He does seem to be a bit inconsiderate of you, and you body, considering all it just went through. Maybe he is a bit jealous. For the past nine months im sure most of everything has been about you, now the baby is here and everything is about the baby. He may want some kind of attention because he feels left out, (and OF COURSE guys dont admit things like that, so this is his way of showing it.)
Do what you feel comfortable doing, and dont let him pressure you or make you feel like you are living up to his standards. You are making the right choice. Good luck!!
2007-12-23 03:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by Alia's Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he was being an as*hole. I think that any guy being explained to about bleeding doesn't want to hear that. And I am sure he was all geared up for sex. I know if I want to turn my man off right away I tell him that I am bleeding and it is going to be gross. I don't have to worry about him wanting it for a while. :)
Men don't bleed down there they definatly don't want to HEAR about it either. But doing it without thinking about it is very duable.
edit* You should try the IUD without hormones in it. I too am not birth control compatible! Every birth control I have tried I have had SEVERE reaction too! Men are okay with blood if they don't have to hear about it. Me and my man have done it several times while bleeding but the fact of hearing aobut it is different.
2007-12-23 02:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know that it is sugested to wait for 6 weeks after giving birth to have sex. Or until your doctor gives you the all clear. ALso I am not bashing you but why are you drunk with a 3 week old in your house. He is being insenceative about your needs. So no it is not you.
2007-12-23 07:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by music4life_always 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You are TOO descriptive. "My fiance won't sleep with me after birth" was enough for me.
2. If he works until 4 am he is probably looking forward to getting home and going to sleep (or try to, I know how hard it is to even try to sleep with a newborn around), the man needs to recharge his batteries once in a while.
3. If he finally gives in and wants to give you some, why would you say something nasty like "bleeing a lil bit".. just tell him you are not feeling good, there you go again being 'TOO' descriptive, ya gotta learn to save some details to yourself hun.
4. The best thing to do is WAIT. it has only been 3 weeks, there are a lot of things going on in your home, new baby, new responsibilities, lots of work, bleeding.. give him some time to take it all in.. and when he finally does, just "SHHHHHH!!!"
2007-12-23 02:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by zion 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why did you get drunk when you have a 3 week old newborn to care for?? If I were you, I'd worry less about having sex and more about being a responsible parent. Good God...
2007-12-23 07:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a jerk. Some man don't like to use condoms as they say it does not feel as good. But unless he wants you pg again this year he better uses protection. Don't be hart on yourself because of pg weight. It takes as long as 9 month and longer to take it off.
2007-12-23 02:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by Iris R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys are really grossed out by the blood, they just are.
try not to take it as a personal rejection, he's not turned off by *you* but the idea of blood.
3 weeks is kind of early to be having sex, anyway. give yourself a couple more weeks and you'll be done bleeding and back to normal. i wish you both the best.
2007-12-23 02:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try explaining to him that you just had a baby and shouldn't have even let him touch you for another three weeks or so especially if you tore or had a c-section. The things we do for our men to make them happy!
2007-12-23 03:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋