i was raised w/o a father or any male role model...?

Question

and all my relationships w/ men has failed...i don't think it's meant....men and me do not work!...any women w/ the same experiences?

Answer 1

I haven;t the same experience but I can understand that without a good male role model, you may find it difficult to know what to expect. If you keep having failed relationships then I think you are looking in teh wrong places or at teh wrong men.

The main thing is you want a partner to be loving, caring, thoughtful and that thinks the world of you, that respects you and wouldn't cheat or harm you in any way.

If you think that maybe you are a negative force in your relationships then maybe it's because you are putting too much thought into thinking you don't know men, you don't know what to do with them. They aren't aliens, they are just like us, human beings. Our thoughts and feelings aren't different.

Good luck, don't give up!

Answer 2

It's a very real possibility that it is why your relationships with men are failing. However, since you have had no male role model in your life, what do you use as a standard in what you're looking for in a boyfriend?

Most of us see our parents as the 'measuring stick' when choosing potential life mates. There's an old saying that men choose women like their mothers as wives, and women choose men like their fathers as husbands. I think that's generally true, but there are exceptions to every generalization. I am nothing like my husband's mother, and he is nothing like my father.

This rule also doesn't apply in situations where one parent is absent. But what would it be like if you had a great dad, but no mother? Would your female relationships be difficult? Or would you still be able to have successful friendships with other women? I guess what I'm saying is that although the possibility is there, it doeesn't hold true for everyone in this situation. Perhaps what you need to do is decide what it is you want in a husband, and what type of father you would want for your children. That seems extreme, but that is ultimately what dating is for, is it not? To find a lifelong mate? Once you've decided what traits you are looking for, then it may make it easier to seek out men that fit what you're looking for.

Also, you may want to consider that part of the problem is because you've never had the love of a strong male role model, you may be looking elsewhere to find it. Thus, it leads you into relationships far too quickly, without giving you adequate time to "size up" the men you are dating.

Answer 3

It may just be because of your lack of relationship with a male figure you do not know who you are looking for and therefore look for the wrong kind.

I'm in the opposite situation - raised by a single father who is loving, responsible, willing to sacrifice and ready to talk or laugh with me whenever I need him. As a result, although I have never been in a relationship, I have him as the measuring stick when I meet guys who I see as potential boyfriends - and they must match up to his standard. The reason for this is because I know he has been a good father and person and I want someone similar.

So your thinking might just be right.

Answer 4

If you go to church then possibly you could look to a church elder as a father figure and use him to measure the worth of potential mates.

If you are not a church goer then maybe you could find a community leader to use as a figure.

I hope this helps I am sure that you will find a mate who will be a good match for you.

Answer 5

i had the opposite situation - being raised by a bigoted, woman-hating, resentful and non-communicative father. Good, bad, or indifferent, as children, that's where we learn what adult relationships look like, sound like, and feel like. Even though my father was in the home and yours wasn't, the end result is the same - we both look for emotionally unavailable men - just like our dear old dads.

Answer 6

Maybe I can help even though I am a male !

I had the "Luck O' the Irish" (My Mother was of irish
descent)------she married
an Architect whose parents were German-English--
a devout Christian --tall--handsome--especially in his
Knights of Columbus uniform with top hat and Sword !

My 5 brothers and 3 sisters had reason to be proud of
him but --listen to this ---he became more of a Role
Model to me as I became older and he was gone !

I treasure a Photo of him in his 30s---he looked like
Wyatt Earp --(Kevin Costner style --mustache & all)
now ---30 0r 40 years later ---he is still my role model
even tho I am using my imagination !

You can choose from any number of Men---Clark
Gable---Gary Cooper---George Clooney (types I
mean) better that they are distant and don't
above all research them !
Use your imagination ---and Reincarnation !

My wife whom I dearly love ---doesn't mind that
I still love Norma Jean (Marilyn Monroe)

Answer 7

do you ever think abput men who been raized just by mothers?

it quite similar situation

Answer 8

think of what you need and work on it inside yourself then you can find the right person for you

Answer 9

I had an alcoholic father who molested me. I hate his guts but I still keep him around because he gives me money