Ok, another Christmas is upon us and I am wondering if I am over-reacting again. Let me explain my situation and then you can tell me.
Every year I split Christmas Day with my ex, which is fine because I think it's only fair. He comes and picks up the kids, but we have no contact, which again is fine with me.
Here's where the whole holiday gets sticky. My husband leaves early Christmas morning to go 200 miles away to see his kids who are grown. Their mother (his ex) is there too. Altho he claims every year that they do not hang out as a little "happy family", I think he is not being truthful to me. I think for one day out of the year, they try to pretend for their kids sake, that the divorce did not happen (mind you, his kids are 20 and 22 and he has been divorced for 7 years and been married to me for almost 4).
I got so tired of sitting here alone year after year like it's just another day. Am I wrong?
2007-12-23 01:16:30 · 15 answers · asked by kikio 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not wrong, you are noble, and generous. so do not change, keep peace, spend the time wisely, profitably , charitably, do some thing that occupies you at home or at a charitable events like feeding the poover, or going to church, to help out or an old folk home. Just go for a walk, get things done that have been pending.
Enjoy the few hours just alone unwind, wash your hair take a bath very leisurely, think about good old day or look forward to a very happy enjoyable future. Day dream about future happiness, plan a pleasant trip in your mind to take in the future.
2007-12-23 01:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yep! I am sorry but you are divorced which means what he does isn't your business as long as it doesn't impact poorly on your kids or you. If he wants to act married, then so be it! If he wants to wear a dress and do the conga with his Grand parents, so be it. You need to move on. Get a boy friend, a pen pal, a confidant. You need to be with someone who can make you feel special this Christmas. Your focus needs to be toward this area and not on your ex! You will just get depressed. He's happy and you are bummed out. That's not fair in your eyes. This is a great place to get an IM buddy. Hell, I've got like 5 of them. I collect interesting people from other countries. Just do something besides sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.
2007-12-23 09:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can not tell you how to feel. However, I can tell you that I would not stand for that, and I do not know very many women who would. It is far time for him to get a grip... This is nonsense. Why can't the children do what most divorced families do split their time between both parents and the new spouses. There choice if they choose not to their loss. You are his wife and the children are grown. It seems he is being very selfish and not at all considering your feelings. God bless****
2007-12-23 09:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about inviting your husband's kids to your house for Christmas? Your husband could send them plane or train tickets. I could understand trying to keep his original family together for Christmas, if they were little, but these are adults, who are fully capable of changing the traditions, without too much trauma. If your husband isn't open to this idea, maybe he is the one who doesn't want to give up the old traditions.
2007-12-23 10:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand it is not fair or him to do this to you. You are his wife!! and you deserve the respect of being his wife his kids are old enough to understand that you are in his life now fight him on this u are right as for your kids why not one year get them christmas the next christmas eve that would be more reasonable you get the whold day good luck!
2007-12-23 09:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I imagine he was doing this while you were dating. It's one day out of the year. I wouldn't make a big deal of it. He has children with his ex. She was a big part of his life in the past and they have a connection for ever (the kids). I think it's a good thing that they can get together one day out of the year and put everything aside for their kids. I don't think it has anything to do with them pretending to be a family.
2007-12-23 09:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
NO you are not wrong at all you have the right to spend the with your husband as well , how about you sugest that he invits his kids over this time his kids are old enoph to spend it with ther father this time give it a try
2007-12-23 09:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by MM 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His kids are grown but not by much. If everything is on the up and up, (you didn't break up their marriage), then why aren't you going with him? Tell him how you feel and call his ex and ask if she would mind if you came along and bring gifts for everyone.
2007-12-23 09:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
His kids are grown and can come to visit with the two of you on alternate holidays. As his wife, you deserve top priorty.
2007-12-23 09:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you aren't wrong to feel the way you...I would feel lonely and upset as well...His children are grown for Heaven sakes!....It almost sounds like an excuse to go see his ex wife....
2007-12-23 09:23:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋