I have been married for 2 years and this is my 1st baby! I am so happy, but feel sad because of how my husband is treating me, I have 2 jobs and he is currently only working 1 day a week all this month beacuse his job is slow, anyway he has been staying home all day watching tv, and when i get home instead of him wanting to be with me he wants to watch tv. I have to get home and do the bed, laundry etc.. I love him so much and im always telling him that i love him, im always hugging him etc. and he tells me that im bothering him, I feel so sad because after i got pregnant i have to ask him for sex, because he doesnt even initiate it anymore! I feel useless. last night he screamed at me for having a talk with him, i started shaking and crying uncontrolably, i cried all night. He blames me for what goes wrong, for him not being able to grow fnancially beacuse he says that If I would have taught him how to speak more english he would have a better life, i feel so depressed
2007-12-23 00:47:44 · 13 answers · asked by ♥*´`*•. mommy♥*´`*•. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He tells me that he is very happy that he is going to be a dad, but why is he treating me like this? before i got pregnant he was the same mean man, but then he got better and now he is starting again. His mother lives with us wich has been a big problem and he informs her of our arguments and I hate that! He is 35 and Im 23 why does he act like a kid!
2007-12-23 00:53:52 · update #1
im so sad specially knowing that tomorrow is christmas and he will not be talking to me!
2007-12-23 00:55:27 · update #2
That is rediculous. If he has anger problems or issues with himself then he needs to work through those or talk them through with you, but to treat you like crap, which he's doing, is sooo wrong and not fair to you, especially since your working two jobs.
I feel bad for you. This is suppose to be a very happy time in both of your lives. How far along is your pregnancy? Congrats on your first baby, but if he continues to be this way, even though you are expecting, I'd get out (if you can) and find a better life. Plenty of men out there would accept you and baby and treat you with respect.
2007-12-23 02:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
MARRIAGE COUNSELING! But you are pregnant, so realize that right now you aren't the easiest person to live with. I'm sure he wants to beat you too, be glad he don't. That means he is a good man! Pregnant women are sometimes terrible, I know; I've been through it twice. Couldn't even stand myself! LOL. If what he says to you bothers you, then you need to tell him. But please make sure its not just the hormones talking. You don't want to do anything rash while you're pregnant. But get some help! Was he not like this before? Maybe he's scared he is about to be a dad. That is a big responsibility for a man. Talk to him, you know him better than we do. And he is most likely just scared and confused. Parenting classes would also be a good suggestion in addition to marriage counseling. Good Luck with the Baby, and the hubby :D
2016-05-26 00:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be having a difficult time because he doesn't feel like he is providing for his family. He has a lot of pressures on him now with the baby coming, his mother living there, and not working many hours. You should check into some schooling for him to help with his English. I know it is difficult for both of you now, but he is depressed. He may even need medication. He should see a doctor. As far as him being mean before, why would you want to bring a child into this world with a father like that? How will he treat his children if he treats you that way?
2007-12-23 01:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by calendargirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you leave him? He's no good for you and he won't be any good for your baby either. This man is not mature. If he wanted to speak English why didn't he go to a class and learn properly? No - he wants you to teach him and when he can't learn he can blame you for his mistakes. This is not a MAN. Get rid of him NOW. You are supporting him. Start supporting yourself. He does not make you happy and will not make you happy in the future either. Is that any way to bring up your child? In unhappiness? Leave him.
He's 35 and lives with his mother? Leave them to be sad together. Go back to your own family who will love you as you deserve. Again...this is NOT A MAN. He won't change and neither will his mother.
2007-12-23 00:57:25 · answer #4 · answered by chris n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you and your baby. i am just leaving my husband of 15 yrs.well i dated this guy 4 6 yrs. first so i spent almost 22 yrs with this guy i have triplets that r 5 and a 9 yr. old. I stayed because of my kids until 1 day i stood back and looked at my life i had 8 acres a gorgeous 5000 sq. ft home 4 great kids a sexy hubby(he was attrative but has a dark side) A red corvette but on the inside i was dying of lonliness his abuseno intimacy he loved porn no kissing just wham bam his conditional love i was cutting myself secretly, i wanted to die but couldnt let that happen becuz of my children. If you think you r going to change him you and your baby cant he has to want to change I left and i am doing great. I have found my inner joy without that you cant get to true happiness with Gods love you can find it. i am not a bible beater this is just my experience with having God in my life and not having God in my life as i was walking into the darkness with my husband and now my children and i are living a life in the light and it feels so good and to see how great my kids r doing tells me ive made the right choice for me and my babes. In making these choices i have meet an amazing man loves me unconditionally and he loves God and this means everything to me cuz with all the crap going on in this world you need to have a church family to help hold you up and support , love you. because YOU do deserve better. You are worthy to be loved . Let me tell you in having found this guy who is so in love with me and loves God when we r intimate it is so much hotter it brings tears to my eyes, i have never been loved so sweetly in and out of bed. Dont waste your time thinking you will change him thats what i did. I am my ex's friend and will do my best to keep it just that way for my babes and this i kno i can do. Good luck and God Bless!!
2007-12-23 02:28:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are bummed out. I know that he is also bummed out. You react to this problem by talking and he reacts by clamming up. Different strokes for different people. To tell you that you get what you paid for in this marriage isn't going to help so we will just leave the past alone. Look to solve his problems one by one. It is semi-expensive but "Rosetta Stone" does very well at teaching a new language. If this is the only thing keeping him from a decent job, it is worth the cost. Take a more aggressive approach to his problems and he may break from his silence. As for your pregnancy, it is also not uncommon for guys to lose interest or actually fear intimacy during their wives pregnancy. You may need to put it in his face to get him aroused. That's enough of that subject though. Final thing, start looking for a job for him. Circle the want ads for him, and insist he call on them. Monitor his progress and never back off. Financial problems are the biggest killer of marriages!!!!
2007-12-23 01:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gad's it just doesn't get anymore happy does it? Send him back to Romania, or where ever, tell him he won't find you, ever. Leave. Don't wait. Get some space between yourself and the financial kingpin. He's unemployed, like everyone these days, but he's not admitting to it, and he can't stoop off his high horse to do household chores. What a guy. He can't learn English, that's too much like work. Tell him to get the baby's room painted, and ready. Or he may not see his kid. Why it doesn't get happier does it?
2007-12-23 00:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by Tacit Hue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its time to stop raising your husband.what are you going to do with 2 children.and one is abusing you.you have schools in every state it is not good to teach some one close by when all he dose is put you down.better look into the future and see where he really is.get a job and put some space between you and him.he needs to find a better job if you boy toy husband cant be a real man find some one who will be there for you and your child.
2007-12-23 01:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by tysgrandma99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
question? did he marry u fo love or for the green card? This is crazy u should not have to put up with this. Get ur stuff and get out. u don't want ur child around all this abuse. get out u are supporting not only him but also his mom. THAT IS NO MAN.......who the heck he think he is a king. get the heck out of here. send him back to were he came from he is taking advantage of u.
2007-12-23 01:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by vivi010571 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk you can move in with a family member or on your own I'm sure you can find a man more deserving that can take care of you and your baby this guy will never change trust me! good luck congrats on the baby.
2007-12-23 00:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋