I dont know how to deal with her. She is super jealous and overpossesive.?

Question

She is on the phone all the time but if I m on the phone she gets really mad and will grab her purse keys and leave. She chats all the time but if I even reply to some girls scrap that day our home turns into a battlefield.(even police came one time due to her shouting at me) If we shopping together in a mall me looking at some girl is a big problems. She is on all the sites where I m but just to check when i come online and what am I doing. I feel so suffocated sometimes. What to do any suggestions I dont even want to breakup due to these reasons.

Answer 1

If there is a history of cheating in your relationship, you need to communicate with her and possibly seek couple's counseling.

If her jealousy stems from abandonment issues like father or mother leaving etc, there's not much you can do except let her know that you care about her very much but reflect to her that her behavior is toxic.

If she is irrationally jealous, (like she's never had bad boyfriends or parents or any history of cheating in your relationship with her), it may be she's projecting her guilt and anger towards herself on to you because she is the one cheating.

Either way, you have to sit calmly and discuss the issues you have and stand firm that this is not acceptable for you and your peace of mind. Sometimes, people can't change while you're with them.

Answer 2

You may not want to break up, but you need to. I'm totally hoping she sees this and my response. She'd probably just get mad instead of just reading what I say, which would benefit her greatly but here goes. She is crazy insecure. If she gets mad when you're on the phone, she needs to be the center of attention, and if anyone else gets it, she pouts like a child. She Check what youre doing online, she doesn't trust you, trust is the second most important thing in a relationship (first being love). As for the checking girls out, that one gets a little tricky. I'm in a relationship and I look @ other guys, as far as I'm concerned I can look @ the menu I just can't order. But @ the same time if you make a habbit of looking @ other girls when she's around, that's kind of disrespectful. Good luck, and by good luck I mean get out

Answer 3

I had a jealouse spouse and I fixed him. He wanted to know everything I was going to do each day and then everything I did at the end of the day - and the two better match or I better have a good reason. He was driving me crazy so I decided turn about it fair play.
I gave him a minute by minute detailed version of my day. I didn't just say I brushed my teeth. I said I got my toothbrush in my left hand, took the cap off the toothpaste iwth my right hand and put 3/4" of toothpaste on my toothbrush then brushed my teed for 2.5" dividing the time equally between upper and lower teeth. I'm sure you get the picture. I did this with every part of my dat. It wasn't a week until you could see his eyes glazing over when I began my recant of the day.
Problem solved for me. He was never jealous again.

Answer 4

tell her. say that you feel constricted and untrusted by her actions. say that you want to be with her but you also want freedom. she has to trust that you wouldnt do anything to hurt her and wouldnt cheat on her.

for the relationship to work you both have to trust eachother. its hard sometimes but perhaps you should just continue what you are doing, have a conversation with female friends, reply to phone messages and e-mails etc. from them. if she gets upset then just continue, tell her afterwards that this is a major problem about trust, you arent doing anything with them, and she is gonna break down the relationship if this continues. hopefully she will have a realisation moment about it and learn to trust you. then start small and work your way up with developing the trust. (hard work makes any relationship a possibility).

(one thing that is unlikely but possible is that she is cheating on you. she may feel that if she decided to cheat on you then you might have done the same. she is selfish and can't handle that possibility cos she it a control freak and feels that she has the right to cheat but you don't.)

Answer 5

She is probably feeling insecure and I can only suggest you try to reassure her, tell her what you look for in a woman and that it is those things that attracted you to HER in the first place. Tell her that although her actions are flattering that you would like her to think of you as a flash car (or something else special in her life), that if everyone stops and admires it, then just smile and be happy that its yours to show off and yours to take home! Hope that makes sense...lol

Answer 6

Well, you can either stay in the relationship and be emasculated and pray that she finds some compassion enough to listen to your pleas, gets some help and stops being so controlling, possessive, narcissistic, domineering and oppressive.

Or you can be a man and realize you're in a totally unhealthy relationship with a person who isn't fit to be in a relationship and leave.

I guess you could tell her that she needs to get help and you're leaving unless she does and sees it through to the end, but I doubt it will do any good.

Answer 7

sounds like she is a bit insecure, i would tell her how much you love and care for her and how much she means to yur life but i would also say that this suffocation has got to stop tell her what it is doing to you inside and that it cant go on ... you could maybe even put it all in a letter for her and she will have more time to absorb what you have said if its in black and white, hope everything works out :)

Answer 8

what are the reasons that keep you together ?the reasons that you have written about are reasons FOR breaking up. do you want to spend the next few years in misery . get rid of her and find someone else .just look at what you have written ,how can anyone want to stay with someone like that

Answer 9

a relationship is meant to be flexible,where you give each other the amount of space you need.This is obviously not included in yours (no offence).
She is not going to change.Feeling suffocated can aler the way you feel about her.Do you really love her so much you can cope?You need to think about this.In the mean time,talk to your girl and if not,take a break and think about your feeings.Best of luck, xxx

Answer 10

It's probably because she is doing or once did something behind your back. Guilt makes you think about how you would feel if your partner did the same thing to you.