My wife and I split 3 years ago after 14 months of marriage because of problems created by her "kids", but have been trying to work it out since. The "kids" are in their late 20's early 30's, and are from her 1st marriage. They are involved in drugs, alcoholism, crime, and welfare rip-offs, illegal un-licensed driving, along with a history of money borrowing that never gets paid back. My wife had 3 of her little grandchildren dumped on her by druggie daughter 30 months ago and they have been in her care since. These adult "kids" have no respect for anyone including their mother, but she turned her back on me finally, when her son had to stay with her on home detention,(after being busted from 2 years on the run from the police), because he was blood an I'm not.
2007-12-22 22:38:11 · 9 answers · asked by One Man 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To be fair on my wife, she has had a long history of abuse herself, both sexually & physically from an early age, but I always treated her as my queen and looked after her every need. I was also prepared to bring up the 3 grandchildren with her, as they are the innocent ones here, and deserve a fresh healthy start to life.
2007-12-22 22:58:37 · update #1
Thanks for the answers, apart from one abusive one, obviously from someone with the same attitudes to life as my "wonderful" stepkids. It seems that the general opinion is that I'm better off out of it. I was thinking for a while it was all my own fears that were playing with my mind, but, no, it's NOT OK!
2007-12-22 23:35:51 · update #2
I dont think so. Her "kids" are in fact grown adults and if they do not have their sh it together by now, they probably never will. Sounds like they are a bunch of no hopers.
Its quite sad that your marriage is over after such a short period of time - I certainly dont believe that this is a good enough excuse (on her behalf) to end the marriage.
Perhaps its a blessing in disguise that you rid yourself of such heavy and disturbing "baggage"
2007-12-22 22:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jodie Z 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure what your question is. Obviously it's not ok because you left 3 years ago. It sounds like you have made your decision. It also sounds like it was probably the right decision. Are you second guessing it now? Even if you love her, that doesn't mean you can share a life with her. She doesn't seem available for that.
If after 3 years you are still having trouble with your decision, it is time to try individual counseling. You cannot change your wife's choices, only she can do that. If she is not willing to, then you need to do whatever you can to be healthy and move on.
All the best to you. This is a difficult situation.
2007-12-23 06:46:06 · answer #2 · answered by Zana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know your hurt and feeling shut out, but you married a woman with alot of baggage. She has a moral duty to help her children and grandchildren. Thats an instinct you can not change. Obviously her first marriage and the way they raised their kids was disfunctual and she probably feels responsible. I'm sure she loves you but as with most women her children come first.
2007-12-23 06:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by Moe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the kids are going to just go away. You know the situation. I think the two of you need to make compromises with each other or else just decide that it's not worth it to you and separate for good.
2007-12-23 06:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by the Boss 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude that sucks she has a huge package and unless she is hot then i think u should find someone else cuz she has a package that will be with her for the rest of her life so either deal wit it or forget it
2007-12-23 06:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't. she can tend to her "kids" better with you by her side, she's their mother and will not be able to say no with your help she will realise that her "kids" have grown up and it's time for them to take resposibility for their action. Don't give up on her if you love. Good luck
2007-12-23 06:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by zee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe its the right time to kick em to the curb and move on down the road to greener pastures.
2007-12-23 09:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by panamarandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has way to much endless baggage. She has no clue on how to set her limits and bounderaries. Until she can do that, you're wasting your time.
2007-12-23 07:24:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were a fool to go back to her.....she doesn't sound worthy of you.
2007-12-23 07:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by madsmaha1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋