How do I tell my uncle to F* OFF and leave my kids alone?

Question

Ok, we were at a relative's Christmas party this afternoon and of course my uncle, who's the world's biggest jackass, has to be invited to spread his usual lame hijinks. Alright, so the adults were having cocktails and talking while the kids opened their presents. Nothing weird there, right? Then my 3 year old daughter opens his present to her - A LARGE CAN OF LEAD PAINT. what the hell?!?! He starts to laugh like a hysterical hyena as everyone else is just really silent and not knowing what to do. my daughter burst into tears and ran out of the room when my wife took it away and explained that it wasn't a big bucket of fingerpaint (WHICH SHE LOVES). It took forever for her to calm down. I am so angry

This isn't the first time he's done this. at my son's birthday he gave him a pair of adult XXL pants. He thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Answer 1

That is SO mean.
I'd just refuse to go to any event he will be attending, for the sake of my children, but first, I'd tell him what I think of him AND I'd mail him some adult briefs every Christmas.

Answer 2

So help the kids get him back next year then they can be ones laughing and laughing at him instead. Show them how to give him a "gag" gift I am sure you can think of something!!While doing this and preparing for it the children will start to understand about playing a joke on someone else.

This of course does not mean your uncle was in any way right to do such a thing! Nasty man. I understand your anger but think that maybe your uncle has some serious issues and that a big blowup in the family wont really make much difference except to create drama and crisis for your family.

Answer 3

Since it's your uncle and someone, obviously, feels the need to include him in family gatherings. That being the case, you should try to have a rational conversation with him and explain that while his practical jokes are funny to the adults, you don't want their entertainment to be at the expense of your (or anyone else's) children. I would further explain that if he wants to give your children appropriate gifts, that would be appreciated but you won't allow them to accept any more gifts from him that are inappropriate. Give him another chance and it if happens again, then you should tell him off.

My guess is that your uncle is lonely and that he is trying to get some attention by pulling this stupid crap. He's the real jerk, you don't want the tables turned and have everyone thinking you're the jerk for telling him off when he's so alone, etc. etc. etc.

Answer 4

Ask him to keep the "White Elephant" gifts for the adults. Remind him next year for Christmas and birthdays that no gifts will be necessary for your children without prior approval from you first.
The uncle has some serious boundary issues between what is right and wrong between adults and children. I am very sorry for your childrens sake; and for your sanity.

Answer 5

The joke was funny, but not for a 3 year old (poor baby!). I think your uncle just doesn't get it. Was he sorry when your daughter ran out crying? If not, then he's a big jerk. I wouldn't accept any gifts from him for your children any longer. If he brings them give them back, or unwrap them yourself and if it's appropriate, then give it to your daughter.

Answer 6

Your uncle is insensitive and awkward. He finds humor in things that are offensive. Chances are, if you sit down and talk to him, he would dismiss you. In the future, when he gives gifts, have him run them by you before your kids open them. If you can help buffer, that would be good. So long as our children are not affected by his tactics. The sad truth is that your kids should have a relationship with his uncle so you can't turn him away from family events, but you will have to sacrifice some time to keep an eye on them from time to time to make sure your uncle is not harming them in any way.

Answer 7

Sounds like an insensitive jerk, let me guess he has no kids? Why not just get openly annoyed at him, everybody else will be feeling the same anyway. Tell him that he is obviously hurting your childrens feelings and that what he is doing to them is just downright mean, tell him if he can't behave himself then he can just keep away. Wow what a mean old bastard

Answer 8

All family's have one !
But seriously have a chat to him tell him his jokes suck and if he can't by an appropriate gift then don't buy one for your daughter, because the last present you gave she got upset, if he refuses then tell him to f* off , personally i wouldn't put up with it if it was either of my kids! Best of luck sort him out !!

Answer 9

First, there is no need for your children to have a relationship with this person. Part of your role as parent is to keep creeps away from your kids, and if that includes kin, that's just a sad fact of life. Specific actions would be telling him he needs to get therapy (it might be true if these "jokes" are his way of being abusive), and telling him that he is not welcome to give gifts to your children. I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings, there's apparently no existing level of respect to preserve.

Answer 10

Wow, what an unsensitive jerk. Someone who would do that to children is just cruel and an a**hole! I would take him aside early on and say, "listen, i want to know now if there is something under that tree that is going to upset my children now!" and if he gets pissed let him! Maybe he'll leave! Ugh, you have my sympathy! I would buy him a noose and wrap it up real nice and see how he feels!