Since my Father passed away this last Summer it was only my Uncle and my Grandfather left of my family on my Dad's side. My question is this, I told my Uncle that he was welcome to spend Christmas with me at my Mothers house since he has no one else to spend it with. My parents were divorced years and years ago but my Uncle always liked my Mom. For some reason though he said he did not want to come over to my Mother's house. I am very worried for him as he does not seem in the best frame of mind. How can i convince him to come to my Mothers for Christmas? Or should i even push it? Should i cut my visit to my Mom's house short to spend time with him? Sorry if this is a long drawn out question it has been a long and tiring day. Thanks for advice.
2007-12-22 19:49:58 · 20 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thank you for your replies. I guess i can understand that he might want to grieve alone. When my Dad died earlier this year i felt the need to be around people and not alone. So maybe my Uncle and I are just different in that respect.
2007-12-22 20:11:39 · update #1
I'm really sorry for your loss. If I were you, I'd visit him anyway, even if it's for 30 minutes. He would appreciate it.
((((Phil))))
Hang in there, ok?
2007-12-22 20:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent grief lady your grandfather simply died! Of couse your grandmother isn't going to suppose better now that he's useless. Even if it's a alleviation considering that he used to be suffering. She has lost her life accomplice the main individual in her existence. She's going to by no means recover from shedding him and it's going to be a long time earlier than she is 'completely happy' once more. Grief is exceptional for all people. Your grandmother has to maintain this in her own means. There may be going to be a funeral. Once the funeral is over it is sort of a sign to the sector that the life have to go on. That is the place you're going to by and large see that your grandmother begins to be less unhappy. It fairly depends upon how historical she is. Best time heals loss. The first yr will be very hard to your grandmother considering that each birthday, anniversary, Christmas and Thanksgiving that comes round she is going to keep in mind her husband. After the first year it will get better. If you want to help your grandmother be variety to her. When she desires to speak about your grandfather let her. Remember the good things about him, do not forget the funny things he said and did. Tell her concerning the type matters your don't forget. That is the great technique to recollect humans who've passed away. She won't make herself unwell. No one ever died of grief or heartbreak regardless of what books and films make you think. She will probably be unhappy however she will get higher.
2016-08-06 12:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your Father and Grandfather. I'm sure your uncle is feeling depressed and he may want to be alone. But try and get him to spend time with someone. If he won't come to your Mother's house, then see if he wants to spend time just with you and cut your visit short at your Mom's. If he won't do either, then try to spend time with him as soon as possible after Christmas. If he won't spend any time with you or your Mom at Christmas, I'd take him a gift or some food anyway and hand deliver it to him at his house. Even if you only stay 10 minutes, the gesture will be appreciated. I think it's very cool that you care. Good luck!
2007-12-22 20:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be hurtful here, and I am positive you are a very well meaning person!
However hard it may be to believe some folk really prefer their own company, whatever the time of year!
I am one of them, yes I know this makes me come across as a miserable old far*!
Honest I'm not, I do like mixing with folk but only when I choose to , I don't like unexpected visitors popping in to see how I am keeping.
No matter how I write this I am going to appear as a real misery, OK I give up!!
I just don't feel a warm glow of appreciation when Tom Dick or Harry pops in, sorry about that.
I'm sure your Uncle loves you, all I'm saying is dont push the feller let him approach you on his own , perhaps you make him feel like a charity case?
2007-12-22 20:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by budding author 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't push it. He may just not be ready to deal with the holidays. Spend time with your mom and then bough out early to spend time with your uncle. Being around your mother could just remind him of the past and memories of your father. Just be supportive. Listen when he wants to talk but don't pry him with questions. Don't pressure him for anything he may not be ready for. If you suspect he may be in a serious depression keep an eye on him and try to get him to go to a counselor or even a grief support group. It's hard being one of the last left of a generation. We're going through it with my great aunt. She never married of had children and her parents and siblings are all gone.
I'm really very sorry for your loss. Best of luck!
2007-12-22 19:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by MISS H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your grand's passing. As for your question, I think its an okay decision. Why not visit your mom earlier like day before and stay overnight and stay for christmas lunch then to your uncle afterwards.
2007-12-22 19:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by sexy-star 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I think you should push, and pressure, basically force your uncle to be with family this year. I think your worries are valid and he shouldn't be alone at such a painful time. Do what you have to do to make sure he isn't alone. You sound very kind and caring, it'll do him good to be with you.
2007-12-22 19:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your gandfather's demise. Do not allow your uncle to mourn alone. It'll make matters worse. Turn up at his home with surprises, and with your mum in tow, he'll be delighted. All the best to you & all in your family.
2007-12-22 20:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to push that you would really like your uncle to come over to your mom's with you. if he relents, i guess thats the way it'll have to be. make sure to call him on christmas though and wish him the best. good luck! sorry to hear of you recent losses
2007-12-22 20:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by *I Want To Hold Your Hand* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think noone should be alone on christmas and if he cant come then maybe you should go instead and spend time with him see how hes doing maybe hes just alittle depressed and needs someone to talk to and who knows what he might be going through. i'm sorry for all your lost though.
2007-12-22 19:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by Fia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im really sorry to hear about your loss. loosing someone you love is always bad.if i were you i did go to his house even i have to choose between moms place and his place. hes lonely and you should go to him takes his favourite food and things. you both can have a great time . and dont bring any other people along as he maynot like it. you can show him that still you loves him and that he is not at all alone
2007-12-22 21:22:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋