What should my 14 year old daughter wear to the pool? (parents)?

Question

I'm a single father, and am not sure if I'm being over protective. I think my daughter should wear a one piece swimsuit at her age, and of course she wants a bikini. What do other parents allow their daughters to wear?

Answer 1

I would say a one piece too. There are so many pervs out there that are going to look whether she has a one piece on or a two piece on so keep a watch on her but if she is wearing a one piece then nothing will be falling out like what can happen with a two piece.

Answer 2

Well I was raised in a country that isn't as frightened of the human body as some people that I have met here in the United States. I understand the whole idea of wanting to show respect for your body, etc, but I think that as long as you know that your body is yours to do what you chose with, and that no one has the right to violate your body, than I have no problem with a bikini.

In Brazil, where I was raised, Everyone where's bikin's that make the ones here in the US look positively modest. I was wearing a bikini at the age of 3 and I have no problems with my self image or anything or that sort.

Of course, I cannot compare the US to Brazil because there is such a culture difference, but I suppose that whether or not your daughter should wear a bikini would depend on the maturity level of your daughter, the town that you live in, how your daughter feels about her body, and why she wants to wear the two piece. If she claims that she wants to be "like everyone else" ask her why. I wouldn't force a decision on her, and would let her make up her own mind. However, I think she needs to decide for herself, for the Right reasons.

I hope this helped

Answer 3

I am 23 and about to be a parent and i think some of the outfits girls wear to the beach are ABSOLUTLEY NOT APPROPRIATE!

I dont know who these girls are looking at for role models, but its probably britney spears.

Some of these bikinis are like very s l u t y lingerie.

You should tell her she can wear a bikini only if you choose the style , she can chose the pattern.

What is the necessity of having stupid beach pedophiles oggoling her anyways, its like at 14 you think the attention is cool then you get older and realize its just freakishly creepy.

I say that at 14 at most the bikini should be in the style of boy shorts and a tank topish top, or sport bra type, or a above bellybutton tank top.

When they turn 18 they can wear those things that fall off when utied at the side.


My theory is that if a girl as at the beach hanging out with her friends including guys and feels comfortable in her bikini, she will also feel comfortable in her room in her panties and bra. I dont want my kid feeling that comfortable.

Plus i oppose a lot of the way kids dress today. I think a lot of classical styles look so much better than a short denim skirt and some skimpy bra top. I hate going to the mall and asking myself "why is this 100 pound teen dressed like a streetwalker?"

Answer 4

"You are not allowed to walk around outside in your bra and panties, so why should I let you wear a bikini that shows more skin than underwear?"

"Sure, I'll let you wear a bikini. As long as you let me make a duct tape bathing suit over top of it."

"I don't care what your friends are allowed to do. If their parents want them to appear nearly naked in front of a bunch of teenage boy, it's their own stupidity. But you are not."

"No. And if I find out you sneak around with a bikini on behind my back, I will replace all of your clothes with potato sacks. I will not negotiate with someone who was ten years old four years ago."

Like someone else said, have her wear a tankini. Make sure to sneak over to the pool every once in a while to see if she is obeying you. Most likely she will change into a bikini borrowed from a friend in the shower room. If she does, don't make a scene. Just wait until she gets home and surprise her with your sneaky ninja technique.

EDIT: I just got an idea from someone in this thread. Go with her to shop for bikinis, but make her try them on and show you. If she feels uncomfortable with her father looking at her nearly naked body, then she can't get one. But I think she will refuse to do it, so in the end you win.

Answer 5

I wouldn't go along with a bikini, however, there are more modest two piece swimsuite. The tank-tini? A tank top over normal size (for a swimsuit) short are in fashion. Also, there are a lot of cute one piece suits and don't have her looking too mature.

Answer 6

it is hard to say because if you shelter her to much she lie to you and take the bathers she wants to wear to pool anyway all you can do is discuss your concerns with her and come to a compromise take her shopping and pick out bathers that she likes and you feel comfortable with her wearing as she is still only 14. bikinis are ok it just depends on what kind there are some nice ones out there that aren't too revealing or there are even some nice one piece's these days too. just don't be to over the top or she will rebel against you goodluck it's a tough decision for a single father to make and she will one day realise you only have her best intentions at heart you are a good father for having these concerns xo

Answer 7

I'm with you.. I don't think a bikini is appropriate.

And honestly I was raised only with one pieces myself.. and now with my daughter, she is also only allowed to wear one pieces..

However.. I think at age 15 or 16... it may be okay to allow a Tankini. It's kind of a half way mark.. it's a two piece swim suit, but the top part is like a tank top rather than a bra.

So if I were you, I'd stick to the one piece swim suit.. and then if you want to now, or when she's 15 or 16, I'd allow a Tankini (go with her to buy it so you approve of it)
and that may satisfy her.

At her age she wants to fit in.. and the thing is most young girls dress like hoochie mamas. You're teaching your daughter to dress like a lady.. and boys will see that and have a little more respect for her.

Anyway.. think about the Tankini. It will make you happy because it covers everything properly.. but it'll make her happy because it's a two piece that's in style.

Answer 8

I don't think a one piece or a two piece is going to make a difference, BUT your attitude towards what (and about what) she wears WILL make a difference.

If you haven't already made a big deal about it, take her shopping for a swimsuit and pick out one pieces you like and have her try them on. Encourage her to buy the one piece (but don't mention it's because it's a one piece, tell her it looks good on her, that it's much more flattering than the others, etc.) If you've already gotten into the conversation and made your choice clear, this won't work and you'll have just tell her she's getting a one piece and that's that.

Answer 9

Jim,

Let me say this first, we underestimate the true age of children, people treat 13, 14, 15 years old a lot younger than they really are.

Im a girl and Im 18. I have a 13 year old brother and people think 13 year olds are still innocent and naive and should be treated as such.

You don't put a one piece on a 14 year old. She won't go swimming, she will make up excuses as to why she can't go.

Tankinis are a good way to go but personally I hated them you got these weird looking tan lines.

Guys are going to look at her in a swimsuit no matter what if they want to, they are going to look they are going to think, they are going to use their imaginations and its normal and you can't stop it. Its all how she responds to it, all how she handles it.

If she really wants a bikini, help her find one that isn't too revealing. One that doesn't have the thin ties, try something with thicker straps, like these:

This is from American Eagle:

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/outfit_bundle_page.jsp?o=sku640012&catId=cat90032

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/outfit_bundle_page.jsp?o=sku640011&catId=cat90032

Here is from target:
These are just tops.
http://www.target.com/b/ref=sc_fe_l_1_13629631_6/602-7124460-5671807?ie=UTF8&node=16002531

Here are bottoms.
http://www.target.com/b/ref=sc_fe_l_1_13629631_10/602-7124460-5671807?ie=UTF8&node=16002541
These are have thicker sides and cover more.


Personally, the suits from American Eagle are much cuter and I have 2 of them and they work just fine and don't show too much, I don't get negative attention.

Good Luck

Hope your daughter finds a suit that makes her happy.

Answer 10

Adolescents at this age are all about trying out their attractiveness.

As a father I know how difficult it is for a to see a young daughter grow up.

You can't keep it from happening.

At 14 you should have already instilled the values in her that will help her cope with life as an adult.
She will make the choices she thinks is right for herself and that is
natural.

What is her peer group doing? Thats very important to her.