I had sex with my roommate’s boyfriend, but I never really gave consent. Was I raped?

Question

I’m a college student and I live in a townhouse style apartment. I have 4 other roommates. So any way this one roommate of mine has this boyfriend, he is kind of older, we are both 20 and he is like 27. So anyway he always gets trashed on Thursday nights, usually, I don’t know why Thursdays, and then comes over and gets in bed with my roommate, I think he might have a key. So anyway the bar he goes to is pretty close, he comes over and can barley get down the hall to her room. This has gone on for months.

So anyway one Thursday night my roommate was at her parent’s house. I had been drinking, not a whole lot, and I started to think, her boyfriend is kind of cute, he is self employed and has a lot of free time it seems. So anyways as I had a few drinks with my roommates and I wondered if he would even notice if I was asleep in her bed when he stumbled in. I thought it would be funny.

I mentioned it to my roommates; they thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard and dared me to do it. I was going to wait for him to get in bed and try something and then turn on the light.

So anyway I went into her room and ended up falling asleep in her bed, I never planned to fall asleep. I woke up and he was on top of me. He snuck in and pulled my pajama pants down along with my panties and he already had it in me before I woke up.

So I awoke to him having sex with me. I tried to push him off and he was like you feel way better then Shelly…. I told him to stop and he was like “you are so tight tonight.” He felt kind of big, it was rather painful. I didn’t want to let him know it was me, less then a minute after I woke up he totally came in me. It was the first time a guy had came in me. I was kind of scared, it felt weird.

He rolls over and falls asleep and I left went to my room. I don’t think he has a clue.

I never gave consent, I did say stop and he didn’t. It was kind of stupid, I can’t believe this happened, should I tell my roommate? Was I raped?

Answer 1

Well, you slept there and had sex with him. I don't think that's rape, was it really that funny? Actually, sounds pretty sad...

Answer 2

You say you didn't mean to fall asleep, but you say this:

"I wondered if he would even notice if I was asleep in her bed when he stumbled in"

You say you didn't give consent, but you also say this:

"I had been drinking, not a whole lot, and I started to think, her boyfriend is kind of cute, he is self employed and has a lot of free time it seems"

That doesn't sound to me like you were trying too hard to avoid the "encounter" with this guy.

Here's my reaction to the stupidity of this "victim":


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Answer 3

He started while you were asleep. You said stop. He didn't listen. It's rape. There's no way around that. Whether or not you want to report it, it fits the definition of rape.

You did, however, kind of bring this on yourself. I'm not trying to excuse what he did, but going into his girlfriend's bed was retarded. You need to be more careful when you drink.

Answer 4

Playing bed tricks with a guy who has had a few drinks. No you were not raped. If you go to the police you will end up making a fool of yourself. Because you knew he normally went to her room. You thought it would be funny to play a trick on him. As you see. You played yourself.

Answer 5

So what u just layed there and let him do it? If u didn't tell him to stop u basically gave him consent and were not raped.

Answer 6

You were not raped unless you fought him off. You let alcohol, and your being attracted to him, take a joke too far. You knew what would probably happen before it happened.

Answer 7

You thought it would be funny..? o-o;

you werent raped....

don't use that excuse just to get out of trouble.

no consent was needed because you physically accepted and had minutes to think about it....


AND EEWWW~!!! you bad bad bad girl...nice ruining a friendship huh?

Answer 8

OMG..you could get a disease or be pregnant.How irresponsible. Not funny at all! Stupid more like it.

Answer 9

maybe go to the dr.have your study for stds

Answer 10

i say you were raped. if you told him to stop and he wouldn't... thats rape. theres not excuse for that, no means no.