Need help with my anxiety?

Question

Ok well ever since i started 8th grade ive been having some serious anxiety issues and it has affected me alot (im a junior now in high school). I always think people are judging me and i've been withdrawn from people at school for the past few years without making any real friends, and i consider myself a pretty normal person. This has made me really angry with myself because i feel like im stupid for worrying so much but i can't help it. I used to be very active and athletic and i havent done any real exercising in a long time which has affected my health (i have high blood pressure) and now my life is basically the internet because thats the only place i can feel comfortable and talk to people. Basically, i want to know of a way to get rid of this anxiety or social phobia,w/e. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Hello. I have social anxiety disorder and I am currently in therapy for it.

Since you're under 18 it takes 6 months to diagnose social anxiety disorder because what you have may be only temporary (part of puberty).--Although I don't know if you really need to be officially diagnosed with it to receive cognitive treatment for it. I think it's more for the medication part.

Personally, I would recommend telling the medication to go screw itself because it's only temporary relief and you'd have to take it the rest of your life to keep the relief long-term. Like Barsh said, medication shouldn't even be on your mind right now; it should be more of a last resort.

Understandably you are using the Internet to socialize because it's much easier. In fact, it's not even hard at all. No anxiety because no one can see you. Deep inside you, you feel normal, like you said. You don't feel like there's anything wrong with you mentally, except the painful symptoms of anxiety during social situations. You've probably done some research on it too, since there's millions of websites that talk about anxieties. So now what?

Here's the fun part. It's not particularly easy to beat--it takes time--but it can be done. *You must not avoid social situations just because it eases the anxiety* That's key. You have to force yourself through it as painful as it can be. As far as working toward defeating the anxiety goes, you need to find a therapist. Yes I know, not a fun step. The last thing you want is to sit in a room and talk about yourself while someone watches everything you do. Not to mention telling your parents about this (if you haven't already). Not fun, but it is necessary. What I did is I told my parents first, then we made an appointment with my physician. Told my physician about it, then I was given a list of therapists nearby that I could make an appointment with. Picked one, made the appointment and here I am. None of that was particularly amusing, but it feels much better now that I am doing something about it rather than let it control me.

A good book (very informative and helpful for treatment) to have is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Got mine on ebay for cheap. It explains in detail all the basic anxieties and what causes them. It talks about how to go about treating it. It includes recommended breathing exercises and meditation to provide some relaxation.

You mention you haven't exercised much in a while. So go do it! Haha. Just go out for a jog...I know even jogging causes anxiety for fear that people are watching you. I always go at night: makes it much easier. Depending on where you live, it might be cold outside this time of year...that's okay. Wear an extra layer. Rather be cold than anxious, right? Exercise is relaxing, it clears your mind, and it improves your health all in one. Highly recommended.

Meanwhile, try to stay in good spirits. Anxiety can lead to depression and you don't want that. Stay positive; trust that you'll get through it. And please don't use it an excuse to get out of a social situation. Avoiding makes it worse, as you probably know. Force yourself until you get therapy. Then you'll feel much better as you'll have step-by-step guidance. It's a lot of work, yes, but if you do nothing about it, nothing happens. It continues to get worse, especially after high school. High school actually keeps your anxiety from getting worse because you're forced to do so many things. But once you leave high school, you have more choices and that's really when you start choosing to avoid things. BAD. Avoid=bad,bad,bad,bad,bad :)
So stop it now before it gets worse! Let your parents know your plan to find professional help. Give them some information to read about social anxiety, especially if you don't feel like you can handle explaining it to them.

Alright. I'm done for now, if you have any questions/comments just let me know, I'd be more than glad to help. I wish you luck and go kick some anxiety a-s-s!

Answer 2

I suffer from anxiety aswell...and i have used different forms of medication ect...
The answer for you is for you to go to the doctor and explain exactly how life is for you and how you are feeling...this is best for you to do as soon as possible as from the sounds of things you anxiety/social phobia has got to a bad stage for you.
I understand what it is like living you life from the internet and not going out as i am right there too...it is not a mind over matter thing at all, and is not something that you can just get over.
It takes time..medication can help but it is ussually sujjested that this is for short term only(there is a good reason for this due to side effects)But lets say that you are given medication which will then enable you to get some therpay around you anxiety and social phobia....there is CBT ( which unlike mind of matter actually teaches you different ways of thinking and behaving..when faced with the world)
Also ther is Exposure therapy...(where you are exposed to what frightens you at your own pace)Exposure therapy is not easy as i am actually doing this myself but each time it getts better and the anxiety i feel b4 going out seems to have lessened to a degree.
If you need to chat more about this you may contact me via nickname....good luck i hope that you do continue to seek help for what you are going through

Answer 3

You probably need to start building your self-esteem by not concerning yourself with what you think people are saying. They probably are not even thinking anything negative! It may be all in your own mind.

Take some time to ask yourself where that comes from. Changes those negative voices and thoughts in your head to positive. Make a list of your positive aspects, keep it and look at it daily.

Do things that make you feel good about yourself; help others, volunteer somewhere, etc. Get out and exercise, make friends by just saying hello and using small talk; weather, school, clothes, etc.

Talk to a counselor at school and ask for some help there too.

Answer 4

Forget the drugs. The best route to recover from something mentally is to see a therapist. Drugs only mask the problem. It doesn't get to the root of it.

There are different types of therapy that they can use. Desensitizing is one of the most popular ones. It's basically putting you into that situation until it doesn't bother you any more. Sounds a little scary at first, I know. But it's really not as bad as it sounds.

Been there, done that. Best wishes.

Answer 5

I'm no MD or Ph.D, but it sounds to me like you have social anxiety disorder. Any type of anxiety disorder can be helped by a family of drugs called benzodiazepines. Drugs that you may be familiar with in this family would be things like Xanax, Valium, Ativan, etc. Although these drugs all have very similar effects, they vary in potency and duration. I have panic disorder, and take Klonopin (clonazepam) and Zoloft (sertraline).

My advice would be to seek the help of a psychiatrist. They can diagnose you and write you a prescription for medication that will help you. It's also advised that you seek the help of a psychotherapist while taking the medication, so you are not dependent on it to keep your anxiety at bay.

Best of luck to you in solving your problem. You're not alone!

Answer 6

See social anxiety, in section 9, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Minimise the amount of salt in your diet: put none on your meals; there is plenty in processed foods anyway. A little salt substitute, made from potassium chloride is OK (salt is sodium chloride), and change to curries, hot 'n' spicy, and sweet & sour dishes. Exercise daily, even if only walking, or jogging, for 20 - 30 mns. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you: "Even though I suffer from social phobia, and worry, I deeply and completely accept myself". Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer. Self/esteem/confidence are addressed in section 38. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I.. (insert activity here)..". Section 47 refers.

Answer 7

talk to ur doctor. xanax is a great anti-anxiety medication. I use it becuase my thoughts attack me, and it feels like im being shoved to a wall and can't get out of my head.. scary, but the xanax is wonderful and lets things not bother me so bad

Answer 8

its called mind over matter, if it dont matter than never mind. doing a job well, is much better than thinking about it.