why dont guys ever get hints? why do you have to basically SPELL out to them what your trying to get them 2 do

Question

I really don't understand why it takes guys soo long to catch on to things. You can't drop them hints because they just don't get it...ever! why is this... r they dumb?

if you were trying to stop talking to you as much, you could just make subtle cues and she will most likely catch on. For a guy, he wouldn't get it, or he would think that what you were doing was really to get him in bed with you..lol

a girl* oops

Answer 1

Its in the "Guy's Rules." If you drop hints, there are always more than one way to interpret them. We know we'll interpret the meaning the wrong way, so we don't even make the attempt. You want to know why we don't get hints... well we want to know why you don't ever say what you want.

Answer 2

Read a good book on the differences between guys and gals. Worlds of differences because we are wired differently. Our brains operate differently, our hormones do,and everything else. It makes it interesting, but also frustrating. Every generation has the same problem, so pull up a search engine and look up the male/female differences, or go to Borders or similar bookstore, ask the clerk for the section on relationships and read away. You'll learn so much.
Basically, women are into relationships and men are into things, such as ball games, sports of any sort, etc. To get their attention, you have to ask them to look you in the eyes...when dating, they will laugh. This only works when very connected, so don't think every guy you date will do what you want.
As to dropping hints, that is not an OK way to communicate. Say clearly what you want, because they can't read minds, anymore than we can. Women are trained to be more passive and less assertive, but that doesn't get us anywhere. You must learn to ask for what you want in life, be it a raise, or a touch from your guy, a certain gift...whatever! Hints are a poor way to tell someone anything. Have you ever gone into a restaurant and HINTED about what you wanted to eat? No, and it is the same with relationships. Ask, and if the guy is worth keeping, he will learn to listen. We have to train them, remember, because they still are like cavemen...they bring home the bacon. Period! They expect us to cook it and feed them, they think their job is done. Not so. Train, train, train, but first, read, read, read. Good luck.

Answer 3

Basically, yes! lol. Men are different to women in the way they communicate and in the way they hear or "pick up" both verbal and non-verbal communication. They are not good at intuition or catching on to hints. Most things have to be spelled out and even then you need to be specific. So from our perspective - yes they are dumb because we are so good at doing this. It's frustrating I know. Example: if you want your dishes to be dried and put away appropriately. Saying "Please do the dishes" is not specific enough. Needs to be please get the tea-towel and dry the dishes and then put them away where they go. If you actually fancy a guy they seem to be able to pick up on this though sometimes not. You need to specifically tell them - same when you want to finish the relationship and you need to give a reason. Mad, I know. lol

Answer 4

They are NOT dumb...their minds just work differently from ours. Besides, there are times that YOU don't get hints that people give you, and I'm sure that you can say, "Hey, you can't expect me to be a mind reader!" Well, guys are no different. You can't expect them to tell exactly what's going on in your mind. There are times that you need to spell things out to them--it's not a big deal unless you make it into one. If your guy thought that he knew everything that you wanted and then went based off those thoughts, then you'd be complaining that he doesn't care about you. So please stop your whining about this and just understand that no two people think alike. It will make your life so much easier!

Answer 5

No not really. A lot of guys are scared of rejection, in other words they don't want to ask unless they are possitive you like them back. Sometimes they pick up on hints and don't like you back. Other times they just don't get it, maybe it is something they are not used to or perhaps it is so obvious they think you are just leading them on or something. It is not really that they are dumb, it is just how they are wired.

Answer 6

It's ohkay, I read it. I'd be confused too. I think it's just the fact that you're so far away and this "commitment" is him being faithful knowing he'll only see you a few times. I think you should just wait. It sounds like he's upset you stopped talking to him and he'll prolly tell you something huge soon.

Answer 7

At lot of times it's hard to tell if someone is just a flirt, acts a certain way, or is really in love. Just ask him out on a date and see what happens.

Answer 8

Guys are seeing things from their point of view and even if you tell them what you want and are very specific...still they tend to be only seeing what they want....

...so unless the guy opens his mind and sees your view and what you need and gives you that....it is not going to be a good relationship....

...so you just have to find a nice rare guy who cares about you and treats you well....that way the both of you are happy....

Answer 9

Sometimes it's not the guys fault. Sometimes girls are afraid to say, full out, what they want. alot of guys like it when you're spraight forward with them, they can't handle hints.

Answer 10

hey its pretty hard to seperate friendly flirting from hinting flirting. if u ask me, chicks should just be more blunt. the world would be easier to live in lol. for dudes, girls are really hard to read. thats the sad facts of gender gap.