I give eveyone else in my sister's family Xmas and birthday gifts, however, I am not fond of my brother-in-law and I know the feeling is mutual from the way he treats me. Should I go ahead and give him gifts for these occasions even though my heart is not in it and it would not be sincere? I want to do the right thing but I don't know what to get him and I have to send the gifts through the mail.
2007-12-22 14:38:06 · 13 answers · asked by Gabfest 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm sorry I feel this way but I didn't marry him and I wouldn't have chosen him for my sister. Without going into details he has done some things to me that I would never do to someone in the family.
2007-12-22 14:58:20 · update #1
You could get something that is for both your sister and your brother in law, something that is a "household item." That way you include him in the thought even if you know your sister is more likely to use it or do something with it.
2007-12-22 14:46:40 · answer #1 · answered by Opal 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel obligated, and I agree that for his Bday you can skip it....... I wouldn't even send him a card. But if your'e sending a bunch of gifts through the mail then it would be very weird to send everyone something except for him. However, I'd make it as impersonal as possible: send him a gift card to home depot or something like that......
2007-12-22 22:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is through the mail - buy one Xmas gift to be shared by your sister and brother-in-law - and let that be his.
For his birthday - just skip it - send a funny card.
2007-12-22 22:49:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would give one gift addressed to the two of them together: your sister and your bro-in-law. That way, the gift general enough to show your thoughtfulness but does not obligate you to buy him a gift specifically.
Happy Holidays!
2007-12-22 22:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by wazzugal 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has it occurred to you that he may be hostile toward you because you act that way toward him?
Even tho you are not sincere he is a part of your family, whether you like it or not, so yes you should get him a gift. It does not have to be anything expensive but just something to show you acknowledge him as a family member. After all isn't Christmas a time of giving and making others happy?
As far as not knowing what to get him, just ask your sister his favorite cologne
.
2007-12-22 22:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas B 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Since you're just mailing the gifts, why be phony? I don't like to give gifts because I feel like I'm supposed to. He's aware of how you feel about him and he returns the feeling, so I wouldn't give him anything. If anyone asks why and they know the history, just ask them "would you buy presents for someone who did ----- to YOU?" Christmas is not about being phony.
2007-12-22 23:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you give Christmas presents to the rest of your sister's family, you shoud give her husband something, too. It might seem awkward for everyone but him to get a present from you, even if you're not there. I like the previous answerer's suggestion of giving them something together. For his birthday, however, you can get by with a card.
2007-12-22 22:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by aida 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should, why stir more sh*t in the family and make yourself look bad. Buy some Old Spice, or soap on a rope, and forget it and smile. Hurting your sister and causing problems makes you appear the bit"ch and doesn't hurt his reputation at all.
My additional details: we all have family members like this. I gave you good advise, follow it. My bro-in-law is worse than yours, count on it! LOL
2007-12-22 22:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should... Get him something nice... Kill him with kindness...If you don't give him anything, it might just cause conflict between you and your sister and the rest of the family... Anyway, xmas is a season of love and forgiveness, Who knows, you might like each other after this season..
2007-12-23 00:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by stephy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would. I think it would be rude not to get him something if you get everyone else in her family something. You don't have to go all out, though. Get him something little. If you really don't feel like getting him something, I think a card on the holidays and his birthday would suffice.
2007-12-22 22:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by ryushi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋