How to handle having to share a household with family member's verbally abusive fiance?

Question

So this person has been living with us for a while now, and for what I cannot understand, my Mother will not ask this person to leave. They are verbally abusive to my sibling (they both are expecting a child together next month) and loves to belittle others without a care in the world. My Mother relates to me how much she dislikes this person, etc., but refuses to kick them out. She's as friendly as pie with this person to their face, but only around me vents about how much she cannot stand this person. I only wish my Mother would stand up to this person and be truthful with her feelings and tell them to move out. This person likes to say things under their breath about me or the rest of my family and is the most venomous person I have ever had to deal with. Doesn't help much that I can in no way afford to move out either. I have tried ignoring this person, because if I didn't, I'd probably hit them, nevertheless, this only seems to egg them on more. What else can I do to deal?

Answer 1

I'm sorry, you are in a really awful situation. But your Mom is really screwing you over. How about, the next time your Mom vents to you about this person, try calling your Mom out - tell her that you don't want to hear about how SHE does not like the situation, when SHE is the one that has the power to put an end to it, but doesn't!! Dump it right back in her lap. And ask her point-blank WHY she doesn't do anything about this person. Your mom is enabling the situation. And any time your Mom tries to vent - push it right back in her face - don't be mean, but be direct!! Do NOT let her complain to you. When your Mom just accepts the victim's role, she victimizes everyone in the household, and she is NOT acting like a mom, but like a doormat. Maybe she thinks she is doing them a favor, but she needs to grow a spine. No one should have to put up with that behavior, just as clearly as you see it. She should give them a deadline for moving out. And if they don't go, then change the locks! The person sounds like a potential physical abuser - just one step away from slugging someone.

Answer 2

I accept as true with the above answer. If it rather is going to become abusive (reckoning on the degree) you are able to call the police and that they are going to stand there whilst the guy packs a pair of issues and leaves the abode. Than you are able to go all the way down to the court docket and get a restraining order. i understand its no longer the desirable difficulty considering that individual gets much extra dissatisfied yet while it should be completed...it should be completed. i actually do sympathize with you considering it rather is a terrible situation to no longer sense risk-free and emotionally soft in you own residence. i might advise you apart from mght seem up Phillipians 4:6-8 on your bible, via fact it tells up there to, "no longer be concerned over something, yet pray to GOD .... and he will shelter our psychological powers and end peace". whilst HE"S determining the region. it is so encouraging. i would be praying for you.