I have a friend who I love...but already has a boyfriend. I was hanging out with her and my other friend last night and she was telling me about the other night when she was drunk. Out of nowhere, I just blurted out something like don't drink. I don't know what made me say it with out me even realizing. Then, her and my friend asked me why i didnt like beer/alcohol. I didn't want to say anything, and i didnt, but they kept asking and i just said i dont like it. Before i was born, my dad's sister(my aunt) was killed by a drunk driver. Then, about a year ago, my cousin was in a car with a drunk driver(he may have been drunk too) and they drove into a tree and died. People i love have been affected by alcohol and i dont want it to happen again. I don't know what to tell her to get her to stop, but its not like she has a huge problem. She doesnt really know i love her, and i dont want to say anything like i dont want to see another person i love get hurt(because she doesnt know).Any ideas?
2007-12-22 14:24:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
on how to get her to stop?
2007-12-22 14:24:22 · update #1
Well, you certainly can't "stop" someone from doing something that they like or enjoy. The most that you can do is talk to her, and explain to her that although you're very nervous about this, you want to talk to her about something.
Explain to her that you like her (she may like you back, but is fearful that you wouldn't like her the same way) and that because you like her, you want her to be safe. Then you should explain to her exactly what you just told us here -- that people that you've loved have been affected by alchohol - especially drinking and driving and that you don't want something like that to happen to her.
You didn't mention how old you both are -- but my guess is that you're relatively young -- but, if she knows that you care about her and her well-being, she might just give it up... it's worth a shot, espcially since drinking and driving can lead to such awful consequences.
You might ask her if she knows what the penalties are in your state for drinking and driving -- some people don't even know that you can lose your driver's license or worse -- you could hurt or kill someone's child, mother, father, husband, brother or sister because you were having a good time with alcohol.
Sitting in jail is no good time, let me tell you. Why would you want to lose control in a situation when you can have a soft drink, tea or water and have just as much fun?
That's an easy question to answer.
Good luck!
2007-12-22 14:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Beth B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but no one can get any other person to do something if they are set on doing it. If we could, there would probably be almost no one abusing drugs or other substances. You know, even in your situation, maybe you would think/feel differently if you had not had the experience with alcohol in your family that you did. You are smart enough to learn from things you have seen - but some people need to find it out for themselves, and sometimes in the course of doing that, they create really serious problems for themselves. Did you tell them about your family's experiences w alcohol, or did you just leave it with not liking it? If you didn't share that with her, you might think about telling those stories to her in a quiet moment, and just say that you have seen too many great people get hurt that way (I would not use the "L" word...) and you would rather not have it happen to her, either. It might help, but that is about the only thing, and only if she is ready to hear it. Good luck.
2007-12-22 22:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her those two stories. Explain to her what you just explained here: that you want her to stop because you love her and don't want her to get hurt. You don't have to love her in a romantic way to tell her that. I have a lot of close guy friends, and we have kind of a familial love between us, whether or not there ever was or will be sexual tension from either side. If you guys are close like that, then she'll understand where you're coming from. She wouldn't be a friend if she didn't.
2007-12-22 22:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by p :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her your story. You love her right?
She would be able to understand since you are a considerate friend of hers, and if you guys are close i bet she would stop drinking because of what has happened to you.
Im sorry about your family..
2007-12-22 22:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by just the two of us ; 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, I'm really sorry to hear about it.
Why don't you explain that to her?
when she's not drunk?
And instead of saying you love her tell her you care about her
and you don't want it to happen to her?
2007-12-22 22:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show them how much you care and she will soon realized that there is still a wonderful someone she could cling to instead of the dangerous alcohol
2007-12-22 22:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then just tell her you don't want to see another person you care about (which leaves it wide open) get hurt
2007-12-22 22:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Tamara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably not going to get her to stop but please tell her how you feel about drinking and maybe she'll get the hint. Just tel her that you care for her alot and you don't want to see her get hurt in anyway.
2007-12-22 22:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by faithful_nascar_fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww ...tats really sad
the only really best thing you can do is tell her the truth ...tell her EVERYTHING she will understand ...wat u have is a fear u got a fear of wittnessing someone dieing and with the use of alchole in it ...wich is driving u away from it cuz ur scared it may happen to u and u dont want it happen to others
2007-12-22 22:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her EXACTLY what you just told us.it may not get her to stop completely,but it will make her think better the next time she goes out to a party or something.hope this helps!
2007-12-22 22:33:02 · answer #10 · answered by ilovehur42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋