Is there an appropriate age to start explaining about her being a child that we have adopted.What are the things that one should say?
She is only 2 yrs old now
2007-12-22 14:15:43 · 8 answers · asked by Rajan A 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think adopted children should be brought up always knowing they're adopted.
If you keep it a secret, then one day say "sit down junior there's something we need to tell you", you're portraying it as a dirty, shameful secret...which it is not.
I disagree with telling children they were "chosen." It sounds like you're picking out a puppy at the pound, and it's insulting to children and parents who are biologically related. As the child matures, it will become an insult to their ability to comprehend this very complex issue that is a pivotal part of their life. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but many adopted children have questions and concerns, and those should be addressed, not glazed over by telling the child they were "chosen."
2007-12-22 14:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Rain Dear 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are age appropriate adoption books you can buy for children, even for those under two that explain that they are very special because she were chosen & so on. It is really up to you if you want to tell her now or not. I personally think that it is easier if a child knows from day one.
2007-12-22 22:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by LiL One 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If they are a different race, obviously they will have questions sooner and you have to be open and honest. Same race adoption is tricky, don't go around telling the kid their adopted all the time when their young but explain as the child matures.
2007-12-22 22:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by Becky J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time. The sooner the better. I was adopted and I must have been told early as I always knew I was adopted. I am proud and very thankful for the chance my parents have given me. I thank God every day. Always tell the truth and do it with love.
2007-12-23 10:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should start telling her about the wonderful way she came to be a part of your family now. Should have been telling her all along, really. Every kid wants to hear the story about where they came from, how you got them, children who are born to you and children who you adopted. Make it a joyous story, one where she started with someone who wasn't able to take care of her, but who loved her enough to find her a home with you.
She should be proud of her life, from day one! So should you!
2007-12-22 23:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
from the beginning. get some books on it.
usually with little kids it is more like "we chose you"
and stuff like that. then progress as the child gets older. it should never be a big surprise or a single big 'talk'.
when the kid learns about how babies are born you won't be able to say "you came out of mommy's vagina" or things like that. your story will be a little different. always tell the truth, with love.
2007-12-22 22:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sufi 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would do it from the start! My brother didnt find out until he was in HIGH SCHOOL that our dad isn't his real dad.
Just explain to her that she is special because she has 2 parents that really love her.
Let her ask questions and answer them the best you know how
2007-12-22 22:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by Van is due 5/8/08! 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that she is VERY special because you choose her after she was born. That is how much you love her!
my daughter has never seen her dad. I don't know how or when I said it. I just always made it natural with her. So she would not feel that it is something not to be talked about. that is her life. It is still happy. And it is nothing bad or wrong. It is just a fact. And I get her all to myself:)):
2007-12-22 22:26:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋