I guess it is very wrong because thats like almost not being friends with someone because they have a disease. But am 20 years old and never had sex to prevent ever having kids by mistake,and the diseases out there. So in my mind I only would date someone who has no kids. He said he has three from another women and he is 23 years old, I have already skipped dating some guy for being 18 with nine exs. already.
But am I right or wrong ?
If am wrong how can I change my thinking?
To me people should wait until there at least 26 to be thinking about kids but thats just my opinion.
2007-12-22 14:12:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks everyone so far.
And to the cats Meow: Really am a down to earth person I would date a guy with low income as long as he loves me trust me even though it would be nice to think of myslef highly I don't...yet until after college...but anyway I also fear of dealing with the mother too am not tough or anything plus I have always wanted to be with a guy who has no kids. If I had kids and was over 50 something years old meaning they should be adults I wouldn't care.
But tell me how do you think I should change? Why do you see it as a high thing? I have nothing against kids and may adopt someday when am married and we both agree on it. But yea I was a kid but idk since I was 14 I said no kids...Barbies fault?
2007-12-22 14:35:18 · update #1
I don't think you are foolish on this one at all. You have behaved like a responsible adult in the past and these people who have a lot of baggage are probably not up to your standards. Any guy who has 3 kids and is only 23, has already got a poor track record for behaving responsibly. A guy who is 18 and admits to having 9 exs. is either a player or a lier so who needs that? You have got a good and practical outlook on life, there are plenty of men with a cleaner plate than these two guys. You are just looking for the prince instead of the toad and there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-12-22 14:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no right or wrong in this situation. You have a right to do what makes you comfortable. There are a lot of responsibilities that come along with children and you inherit that when you date someone with children, even if you are not significant in the child's life. You are young. You have many choices out there, if you want to be selective, it is your right. After all, it is you who will have to live with your choice.
I think it is good that you have chosen to wait, and it is special. A man should be special too to appreciate who you are and what you are about. If he is 23 with 3 children, and he is out looking to have another relationship, that means he is not careful and probably not responsible. You are not wrong for thinking it is best to move on. Remember, people always show you who they really are and what they are really about when you first meet them. It is whether or not we choose to listen to the clues.
Good luck in this crazy world of dating. You have so much ahead of you. Enjoy your life and don't let anyone stress you out!
2007-12-22 14:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by golden sun 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know I agree with almost everyone here except by the cat meow. you are still young and you told me once that you are alway day dream of you dream but it's too far away from your reach or your eye. so if you want that dream to come through. you should do what you are doing right now. to not think about having kid because once you have a kid. than your whole life will change. everything you do will be for your children and you will never reach or find that dream. so to me this guy who is 23 y/o with three children is irresponsible otherwise, he will still be with his ex wife or ex girlfriend. so for me he is trying to find someone to either babysit for him or dump his children on you while he go and have fun and flirt with other women. so you have the same interest as me. that I work hard but not for me. for my future when I find the right woman because I dated a girl with two daughter before and she went crazy on me. I spend over $2k in only 6 month of being together and I was ready to be in love and committed and dedicated my life to her but I found out she doesn't love me. she just love my money and so That's not love. that is selfish and useless and gold digger if you ask me. so just with for the right man to come and you are so right, love is not about what or the high level of education or or high or low income. love is about trust, honesty, caring, good partnership and commitment. so you need that no some guy who just looking for a woman to dump his children to her so she won't have fun in this life and about the 18 y/o with 9 ex's. well for me. I think he doesn't know what he is doing or doesn't know what he want for his life otherwise those girls wouldn't have broke up with me. so I'm thinking and questing he will treat you like he treated the other girls who broke his heart. so just stay and go to school and study hard for your life and your future and one day the right man will come. so you aren't being wrong or doing anything wrong. look if the guy with 3 kids really love you. than you should take a least two year to learn about him and his children than think about if you want to spend the rest of your life with him and his family. OK. don't think too much, you are still young and got a lot of energy and life a head of you. you seem like a nice girl with a decent mind so don't lose that OK. bye and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
2007-12-22 20:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree with you. It's better to wait until the middle to late 20s to start thinking about having kids. I don't think you are wrong in your thinking. Everyone has different preferences, and it's best to enter a relationship which makes you feel comfortable instead of pressured.
2007-12-22 14:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by D-Train 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
nope - nothing wrong with you at all. Everyone has preferences - be it as simple as prefering blondes over redheads, athletic over a bit chubby - etc...
You aren't ready to be a parent - and it would be even harder to fall for someone with kids, and have to be a step parent. It makes sense for you to do what will keep you out of an uncomfortable situation.
You aren't being judgemental - just realistic.
2007-12-22 14:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Each to their own I suppose. You are a teeny-tiny bit odd if you think kids are like a disease though, you do know you were a child once right?
I think you definitely need to loosen your ideals a bit or you'll never find anyone.... did the 18 yr old have 9 ex's or had he slept around heaps (that I could understand wanting nothing to do with)
I do find it funny that a 23 year old could have 3 kids but not still be with his partner, a bit irresponsible.
To change your thinking (and this might sound mean) you are going to have to get off your high-horse...
Good luck finding love
2007-12-22 14:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Are you kidding? You are still just a kid. Move on. Forget about kids at this point in your life. Move on...find a job that you like. He's looking for a babysitter. Move on. Don't be stupid.
2007-12-22 14:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by chilicooker_mkb 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it's not wrong to date someone with kids i dated someone who had a kid
2007-12-22 14:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your thought counts.Yeah so go choose a guy who is clean and single.
2007-12-22 15:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely not wrong. 100% not wrong.
2007-12-22 14:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by Young 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋