How do I explain to my boyfriend that there it is aa positive step to live together before we get married.?

Question

We have been going out for 10 months he is 23 and I'm 20. We both have jobs and we have a very stable relationship. Now I know for sure that he is my significant other half, we are so similar and think alike aswel. I am ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Now we have talked about moving in together in a couple of months, but he is not sure, He says he thinks it will take the fun out of seeing if we could live together when we are married, I also told him that it will be a good way to see if we will be able to live together for the rest of our lives, but he asked me if I don't think that we will be able to live together, so I said to him No I believe we will be able to live together for the rest of our lives. He wants me to tell him why I think it is a good idea to move in together, any ideas please?

Answer 1

Living together will help you see if you CAN live together when you are married - only if you are seriously making plans to get married. Not all couples can live together the rest of their lives even though they love each other.

The downside to this is if you're not planning to marry any time soon (and he is vague on marrying you), you may end up never getting married because he already has his "cake".

My husband and I moved in together eight months before we got married and when we were planning to get married to help me get used to his routine. I was 32 at the time and he was 47. I moved in December 1994 and we got married July 1995.

If he still refuses, don't push him. You may have to wait until he feels ready. Otherwise, you may lose him entirely.

Answer 2

I think that he has a point, just as you do. But, I also think that this is something that you both need to agree on. Maybe he's not ready to move in with you just yet and that's why he is saying that. I would give him a little time before talking about it again. But the pros are this: you only have to pay for one household, meaning individually your bills get cheaper, as you will be splitting the new place. You will be able to see each other more. You will be able to take care of the things the other one doesn't enjoy doing (laundry, cooking, dishes, household maintenance, etc). You can go ahead and begin your lives together...

Answer 3

I am an old married fart, and my hangout is the Religion & Spirituality section, but someone emailed me regarding this question, so here is my answer:
The positive step to living together before marriage is what? Sleeping together so you can learn to mistrust each other AFTER MARRIAGE? (You will both think, he/she did it with ME before marriage, who is he/she with now?) The only thing you will accomplish by living together before marriage is a good and thorough job of destroying trust in each other.
Your boyfriend is right. Living together is a bad idea. It matters not how one squeezes the toothpaste or where he leaves his socks, and the little individual idiosynchrosies that everyone has.
What DOES matter is love and trust, right and wrong. Love cannot be separated from trust in a romantic relationship.
You may not care at this moment, but THERE WILL come a time in your married life that trust will matter greatly.
My wife and I were Godly in our relationship BEFORE we got married. The first time I touched my wife's lovely breasts was in the back of the Limousine on the way from our wedding to the reception. The first time we made love was on our wedding night.
How and why is this important today? Easy. I now have a job that pays me VERY WELL, but it requires EXTENSIVE TRAVEL. My wife recently told me that she feels she can trust me because I was able to exercise restraint in our courting. Her trust is well placed. I trust my wife also.
When I go out to eat in a restaurant alone, I place an 8 X 10 family picture on the table in front of me, and with the bluetooth on my cell phone, I frequently call my wife for dinnertime conversation when we are in two different cities. I cannot tell you the number of young waitresses who tell me they want to marry a man like me. I tell them to marry a christian.
From the tone of your question, it doesn't sound like you are interested in the least doing what God wants in your life. This is a mistake which will cost you greatly in the future, but you can easily avoid it. God hates divorce and immorality because he sees the unhappiness they cause. God loves you and wants the best for your life: http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html I do not believe any marriage can be happy and peaceful without the element of trust. Your children will pick up on these things, whether good or bad.
Imagine what you would say to your own teenage daughter if she were to approach you asking advice on the same subject you are now asking.
God Bless you and Merry Christmas!!!

Answer 4

Living together for a time before marrying does not necessarily make for a happy marriage later on.
Many marriages are happy for quite some time before falling by the wayside. If the couple had lived together beforehand they might have still married. No it is not really a foolproof idea, Dont do it

Answer 5

hm.. i think the part where you said 'it will be a good way to see if we will be able to live together for the rest of our lives' is a pretty good reason. because that is what i plan to do before actually getting married. but since you already told him that..... .. uhh well, i honestly think the answer would vary for all couples. im saying, there must be different reasons for different couples to stay together and for your case, i wouldnt know. maybe you two have simliar views and opinions of how to raise a family, a children, ways to live life.

Answer 6

Most people who live together before marriage get divorced. The statistics say so anyway. Do not move in with him. Wait until you are married. It's the right thing to do and you will both respect each other for it. Also, get pre-marital counseling from a pastor. You may think you know each other so well, but pastors are trained to help you look at things you may not think of before you get married. Be patient.

Answer 7

Well there are many reasons for people to want to move in together. but why do you want to ask us what you should tell him? Why dont you just tell him how you feel? and if he is not sure then give him his time to think about what he is doing, this is a big step for anyone to take!!!!!!!!!!!! and he just wants to make sure he iks 100% ready to take that step, just be patient!!!!!! Good things come to those who wait!!!!!

Answer 8

Believe it or not, people who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than couples who do not. If you want to make sure that you two will be able to live together, premarital counseling (complete with a communication skills course) would be a good idea.

Answer 9

I am sorry but i don't think it is good for you guys to live togather even though u have been togather for sometime u really need to relieze the possiblities of this the good and the bad. I mean some bad things are u and him may have a child togather which is an absoult good and great thing but u will also have that child before u are married. I mean i would think about it some more and make a list about about the good and bad things. Your boyfriend may be right give it time and wait till after ur married!!!!

Answer 10

Because what if its not fun to be together 24/7 once ya'll are married. Tell him that you would like to get a glimpse of how being married would be. Maybe you should go and sleep over for a week or two. See how it is then.

I have told my bf that we should move in together, to see how it is. I honestly think that I would hate it, even though I love him a lot. He wants me to make tortillas for him, homemade, every day! If I dont even make some for myself, why would I make some for him. I am totally with you on this one....guys are so retarded...they just wanna trap us...so then later we can get mistreated..

Hope this helps.

Good luck :)