should i get mad at her for this?...?

Question

ok so me and my girlfriend strictly made rules about certain things that we cant do when we go out. shes visting her cuzins house for the weekend and i told her that if she goes out dont do anything that she knows will make me mad or jealous. shes agrees not to. so later that day i find out she gets drunk, which we both agree not to do, she cuts me off on the fone because she listens to the guys that tell her "no boyfriends aloud"...she almost smokes a cigarette but her cuzin stopped her from doing it...ya, she did sum things that i wouldnt want her to do or like to hear. but overall she didnt make out with guys or have any guys make out with her...should i get mad over those lil things she did, or just look at the bigger picture and realize that she didnt cheat on me or anything and be happy?...we say we both love each other, and we do. but now i kinda lost trust in her...should i be worried?

Answer 1

You and She have vast differences about going out without each other. You should expect if someone goes to clubs or bars, they will drink. If you have a problem with that you have the wrong girl.

Answer 2

One of my favorite psychology teachers once told our class that "the true way to learn about someone's inner workings is to put about 5 drinks in them. A person's true personality then comes out. Alcohol isn't an excuse but a truth serum."

No truer words were ever spoken.

Your girlfriend obviously likes to flirt when she is drunk. Cuts you off when she is drunk and really wants to smoke when she is drunk.

Deep down you suspect her true personality which is why you didn't want her to go out and get drunk. But hiding from these facts wont make them go away. The situation will not be any better tomorrow and you guys will plod along until the next time her true personality comes out.

This isn't an issue of trust but what is the issue is her fun lovin' free wheeling behavior.

People never change and I would advise finding a woman more your speed.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I say something is wrong here. If you lost trust in her then that's not good. She could get pissed if u over react over this since she didn't actually cheat so you should take it easy. The only thing I would say is that ya need to redefine those rules. Those no harm in having a little fun as long as things don't get out of line and which they didn't or so u think. I mean one day you might go to a party and feel like having a drink yourself.

Answer 4

If you have to ask if you should be mad, I would guess the best answer is probably 'no'. Getting mad will not solve anything, it might just make things worse.
"...dont do anything that she knows will make me mad or jealous"
She does not make you jealous. Jealousy is a form of insanity. It's your own thoughts that you dream up which create your jealousy, not her. Furthermore, thoughts 'you' entertain in 'your mind' are your own responsibility, not hers.
She does not make you mad, you choose to be mad, the fact that you asked whether you should or should not be mad clearly shows that it is your choice, not something that she 'makes' you. yes?
You're a man before your anything, therefore blaming her for being her is like painting over dirt, self defeating.
Communication, respect and understanding resolve, and it all begins within self. Master your self and it becomes a pleasure to see and let others do the same. :)

Answer 5

I dont think I would be tooo worried at this point. The fact that she was drinking probably made her revoke on some of those promises because her rationale was lowered ( due to drinking). If she makes a habit of breaking promises small or large then I would worry a little bit. U should talk to her and tell her to think about what she is about to promise before she actually makes it. Make sure u make fair promises and not small petty ones simply to see if she messes up. I think it is a good rule in relationships that you shouldnt do anything when your not with significant other that you couldnt do in front of them. good luck!

Answer 6

She is her own person and thus, able to make her own decisions on what she wants to do. You do not own her. You are merely in a relationship with her and you have to respect her decisions. You might not agree with them but it's her choice to drink or smoke when she is out having fun. She did not cheat on you, that's the important thing. People do not deserve to be in a relationship where the other person tries to control them so you better learn how to let go of that and become a better boyfriend.

Answer 7

I M O. if there's going to be a relationship these kinds of situations should never happen. 1 you should not make rules. what to wear, who's your friends, telling someone no is taking away there freedoms as individuals. there should be a mutual understanding and respect of each others likes, dislikes. i must look at you first. why even entertain someone that does not act mature and respect your feelings. it's not per say about what she did as to why would she knowing how you feel. if you both LOVE each other than you should think about the partner's feelings more than your own. and jealousy is a wasted emotion. your only hurting yourself. carma is a *****. it may get her someday.

Answer 8

I find it hard to believe your girlfriend would put up with your demands. How old are you? So, she gets drunk, so what? She Nearly smokes a cigarette, what a terrible crime. She doesn't cheat on you - did you want her to or somthing, or are you giving her credit for that? I wouldn't blame her if she did. With respect, you seem a bit too controlling and this can only be damaging to your relationship, everyone needs their own space. Don't succumb to the green eyed monster.

Answer 9

You had an agreement with her and that must hurt on some level that she did not abide by a mutual decision. I do not think she would have done what she did if she is in love with you. It is not an issue of what she did or did not do--it's the principle ot the matter. I think it would be logical to be worried. No self-respecting man should have to have his love and tolerance be tested in this way.

Answer 10

Busta you hit the nail right on the head and answered your own question. She did not do anything that would harm your relationship really. I suspect that you both are very young, and this little "tempest in a tea cup" is not worthy of ruining your relationship. You both need to be prepared to "cut" each other some "slack" when need be.