☼ Can you write a little dittie about a CHRISTMAS BLIND DATE that includes 6 of these lines?

Question

1. Please share my umbrella.
2. And by transportation you meant.....public bus ?!
3. I'm trying my best to stay neutral, like Switzerland.
4. Okay.....Here's the deal. I do NOT do drugs nor do I subject my braincells to Rap.
5. Quick!! I beg of you.....Hide the mistletoe !!
6. I am on the date from hell, I tell you.
7. You're my friend. Please join my posse and rescue me.
8. You are deranged and yet.....I find myself strangely attracted to you.
9. That's the great thing about you, honey... you remember every freakin' thing I say.
10. God bless us, everyone.... And God? Take me....Just take me.

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Answer 1

"I am on the date from hell, I tell you. I hate blind dates!!" I said to my friend Gina in exasperation.
"Why are you going then?" she asked with a confused expression on beautiful face.
"You're my friend. Please join my posse and rescue me. You know how my Aunt Frida is! She hooked me up with this guy and I am supposed to wait for him at a park bench singing, The Twelve days of Christmas!"
"How does that go again?" asks Gina scratching her blond head.

On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree!
"That's how it goes!" I said to the bimbo.
"Then what does he do to identify himself?" she asked
"He sings the second verse." I explain.
"How does that go?" she predictably asks.

On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!
"That's what he sings back to me!" I yell at her. "The point is I really do not wish to go!"
"But it sounds so romantic especially at Christmas!" said Gina
"On whose side are you on, anyway?" I ask her.
"I'm trying my best to stay neutral, like Switzerland!" she says. Anyway she is no help at all and so off I go to my blind date quite late. Of all the luck it starts raining as I make my way to the park.
"Please share my umbrella." says a nice looking guy to me as he sees me walking and getting drenched. "Where are you off to?" he asks. I told him I was on my way to the park.
"How do you intend to get there?" he asks. I told him I had transportation. It was getting quite cosy under the umbrella with him. I could smell his cologne and after shave. He had a manly exciting smell.
"And by transportation you meant.....public bus ?!" he asked and I nodded my head.
"Are you going there for recreation?" he asked. I nodded my head. "Okay.....Here's the deal. I do NOT do drugs nor do I subject my braincells to Rap. I consider myself a decent gentleman by any standard. Come with me to the La' Tropicana resort and I will treat you to a wonderful time that will surpass whatever recreation you planned to have at the park!" It was not a difficult decision to make at all. I went with him.
"I feel sad though," he said.
"Why?" I asked
"Some poor soul is probably out there, sitting on a park bench, singing the first verse of The Twelve days of Christmas ,under this rain and expecting me to sing the second verse to confirm I am her blind date!"

Answer 2

4. Okay.....Here's the deal. I do NOT do drugs nor do I subject my braincells to Rap nor do I go out on blind dates unless my best friend begs and pleads for hours, which is how I wound up at the Christmas party with his "great looking" cousin. Of course "great looking" is subjective, but my first thought when I saw her was 5. Quick!! I beg of you.....Hide the mistletoe !!

There was no way out of the date, as we picked her up at her house in my friends car. There was no way I could beg off at that point. I don't know if it was the "Christmas cheer" I had imbibed, or the spirit of the season, but after a few hours I was actually starting to like her a bit. She had many very odd stories to tell about her life on a sheep ranch, but after several glasses of the special holiday punch I started thinking "8. You are deranged and yet.....I find myself strangely attracted to you."

Oddly, my friend seemed not to be faring as well. Taking me aside at the party, he said, " 6. I am on the date from hell, I tell you. 7. You're my friend. Please join my posse and rescue me." They were always fighting about stupid things, but I went with him anyway to see if I could settle their latest argument. I told her "3. I'm trying my best to stay neutral, like Switzerland, but I really do think Santa may be the father of some of the elves." She still didn't agree, but calmed down some and I went back to my date.

The party wrapped up about three AM by which time my friend had left with his date leaving me stranded with mine. We were getting allong just fine by then and I did not want the night to end. It was raining out, but when I said to her "1. Please share my umbrella, and I'll walk you home" she seemed quite pleased. I was not aware of how pleased until we got to her apartment. Closing the door behind us, she leapt into my arms, planted a big kiss on my lips and shouted 10. God bless us, everyone.... And God? Take me....Just take me." Although I don't think I am a god, I must admit that I followed her instructions, and we both had a very Merry Christmas.

LOL

It was the best I could do with the lines provided.

Answer 3

Hate to have my ignorance show but what's a dittie? A song? A poem? A short story? "DITTIE" is not in mt dictionary.