Today in the mail, my mom received a Christmas card from my EX In-laws addressed to her, and my three children. I live here too.
Do you leave certain members in the household off the card because you don't like them?
Does ignorance over rule ettiquitte?
Have a Happy Holiday!
2007-12-22 10:42:42 · 7 answers · asked by The Evolution of T. 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
That IS rude. I mean ... c'mon, how hard can it be to swallow your personal grudge long enough to wish someone a happy holiday?!?
And you were POINTEDLY left out, too. Your ex-in-laws could've glossed it over by simply addressing the card to the family without mentioning individuals. Or better yet ... by not sending a card at all!
Please be sure to send them an extra-sweet reply ... on behalf of your kids, of course! (I'm kidding, but it would make a nice point!)
Happy Holidays to you, too ... and I LOVE your avatar name. I feel the same way about the holidays right now, too!
2007-12-22 10:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, your ex-in-laws still have issues with you over the divorce. They seem to not have issues with your mom and the three children, that is why they got the card and you did not. As far as etiquette goes, I feel they only need to be concerned about the children and of course their son . It's a free world though and if they sincerely like your mom and are not doing this to make you angry then they can send a card to your mom....It's hard for you to get through all of this, I'm so sorry so for the greeting you did not get here is one from me, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"
2007-12-22 13:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by mj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are several ways to view this incident .. your own sensibilities, the levels of courteousnous extent in your society, the attitude and mores of the sender and recipients and any 'absent' personalities you or they consider involved.
Firstly; don't be too quick to take it as personal .. the senders state of mind, either their own or that dictated by circumstances, maybe of such a set as to make it embarrassing or awkward for them to still acknowlege that you were/are part of their social circle of 'relatives' .. this could be as a result of their understanding of the situation or that foisted on them by their son.
Secondly in your society (USA) 'respect' is an overused expression to denote something which disregards your emotional state or your feeling of a behavioural pattern that you consider to be the norm.
Not everyone's social attitudes are the same .. and especially in the USA, where people have on overly intense attitude towards 'disrespect and respect' almost to the point of meaninglessness, it is so very easy to injure someones pride or self being.
Finally, the senders may no longer consider you to be part of their social family structure (for whatever reasons they find relevant) and therefore have 'erased' you from their communicative reasoning.
In the case you mentioned it would appear to be the third one .. although only you can answer that; don't take it as personal, for if it is meant to be rude or impolite they will have succeeded at the same time they may be offended if you take affront to a point of etiquette they feel is inconclusive.
My ex in-laws (when they were alive) always sent me a card to the children and my now wife and had no compunction about whether it caused anyone distress or not.
Now my ex wife stills sends cards to me, the kids and my wife and the relationship is a robust one .. I have no diffulty when she invites my wife around for tea or when she rings and doesn't speak to either me or Isobel as and when she wants.
The basic fact is they took the time to send a card, to your address, and willingly or un-willingly I am sure their Xmas wishes are directed to you also, otherwise the card would not have come to that address with no specific details for the children ONLY
2007-12-22 11:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by The old man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find that extremely rude. I would never leave someone's name off a card for that reason. If she didn't want to include you, then she should not have sent a card at all.
Merry Christmas. ^^
2007-12-22 10:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by śÃŃĐУ Ļáמξ SUCKS 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is very rude and I would definitely take it personally if I were you! I could understand if they just sent a card to their grandkids but by including your parents and not you they stepped over the line.
2007-12-22 10:54:01 · answer #5 · answered by _____________ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, they are your ex inlaws for a reason. I wouldn't continue to stress over past relationships. They are the kids grandparents and will always be.
2007-12-22 10:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree.
2007-12-22 10:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by aida 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋