We've been together for two years and no we don't live together but I honestly thought he loved me enough to want to get married but he said he doesn't want to get married again since he was married before and has a couple of kids from that marriage. I don't get it at all. Why doesn't he want to be with me? Should I just dump him and find someone who does want to get married? or should I give him an ultimnum first?
2007-12-22 10:36:14 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Kick his *** to the curb.
Or maybe break up with him and hire a man-whore and make him see how much he really does need you, you know? And the only way he can have you is through marriage.
2007-12-22 10:39:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Communication is Key in these kind of matters. After 2yrs and still you guys aren't living together that should be your first step. Living together is much different than just seeing each other . Give it a while and if you still can stand each other after that then talk marriage. If he doesn't want to take that next step then dump him because obviously he doesn't want to build a future with you . Remember he has kids and he's been married so it takes a while to get yourself together and figure out what you want after divorce.
2007-12-22 10:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's given you his answer. He doesn't want to get married again since he was married before and has a couple of kids from that marriage.
I don't understand what's not to "get". It doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less, it simply means he doesn't want to get married. There's no need to break up with him OR give him an ultimatum. Giving him an ultimatum will only pressure him into making a decision he obviously doesn't want to make! Try living together first!
Asking someone to marry you when you haven't lived together is quite a lot to ask. If you truly love him, don't throw away a two-year relationship because of this. Give it more time!
Good luck.
P.S Please don't dismiss my answer because of my age. I still wanted to offer you my perspective.
2007-12-22 10:42:24 · answer #3 · answered by Astrid 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was still too early to get married. If you really love him, you cant find another man. It would end up hurting three people. You also cant give him an ultimnum as it will only push him away. My point is the first marriage hurt him, so showing him that you can be patient enough to wait for him to want to marry you will make him apreciate you even more
2007-12-22 10:42:35 · answer #4 · answered by Rian M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out WHY he doesn't want to get married first off and then you need to find out why you're so damn desperate to be married. Something tells me you're more about being married than you are about being in love with him. Do NOT under any circumstance issue an ultimatum. That is a sure-fire way to get him to run.
It's only been two years. Chances are he's still burned from his first marriage and it's taking him awhile to re-adjust. Maybe he simply isn't ready to go a second round. Why pressure him or worse, consider dumping him because he is not falling all over your demands?
Grow up, examine your priorities, and COMMUNICATE with him on his feelings, not just yours.
2007-12-22 10:41:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you give him an ultimatum in a situation like this, he will leave you. Men do not like to be pressured into anything. With this guy, he has been there and done that. If you really love him, respect his decision. He has been with you for two years for a reason, so we know it is because he may actually love you. You should really move slow because children are involved. He maybe waiting for his kids to grow up a little so they can understand the situation. You will have to be patient with this relationship. Right now, you should really be talking about moving in with each other. That would be the next logical step in this relationship.
2007-12-22 10:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by Almighty Malachi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After two years you have a right to know where you stand in the relationship. He may be unwilling or unable to commit. It's better to know now than after waiting more years. He may not be in a financial position to support two families. If you really want to get married I think you need to find another man. Waiting almost never makes a man change his mind, and you will have wasted all that time, when you could be in a relationship with someone who does want to get married. Remember he is getting from you what he wants without marriage. Being married to a man who has children from a previous marriage is going to be difficult at best. I think you can do better.
2007-12-22 10:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seems to me you guys never talked about what you truly waned in your relationship. He could love you to the ends of the earth, but if one or both of you are not in love with each other, it is not going to matter at all. He is gun shy and I do nit understand what you don't get. If he did not want to be with you, he would have broken it off a long time ago. His relationship with you works for him because it does not have the complicated heartbreak of his failed marriage and you have been a faithful lover and healer for him. So, the question is do YOU love him enough?
2007-12-22 11:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if hes never going to get married to you-and you want to get married to someone then yes, but maybe he wants to wait a little???
But aren't the guys suppose to ask the girls to get married? =)
2007-12-22 10:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to him about this, I don't know the situation at all.
Did you ever talk about the future with him, or did you just jump right in and surprise him? I'm sorry I can't be of more help, it will be hard but you gotta ask him all this.
2007-12-22 10:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum and all you're doing is proving you have no respect for him, no wonder he doesn't want to marry you.
Also, he is the only one who can answer your question.
2007-12-22 10:39:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋