Are we moving too fast? How do I get him to slow down without ruining our relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month, tomorrow. Even before we were dating, when we were just friends, we had a very physical relationship; hugs, tickle-fights, and the like. So it's not that surprising that we're very intimate. But... Well, we've only been dating for a month, and he's already unbuttoned my blouse completely, pulled my sweaters off over my head, undid my bra... I won't get too detailed here, but we have a very physical relationship.
We've never actually had sex, or anything, though, but I can feel it headed that way, and I tend to feel like a slut after he leaves.
So... are we moving too fast? I really don't want to lose this guy, and I don't necessarily have a problem with what's going on right now (It's not like I've never gone this ar before, but over a longer span of time) I just don't want it to go any further.
Would it be all right to talk to him about that now, or should I just stop him if he tries anything more?

Answer 1

If you even WONDER if it's going too fast, it is.

And your behavior should never change, just because you dont' want to lose him. What it means is, you think you have to put out to keep him.
If that's the truth, then he just wants you for sex, right?
Or maybe he doesn't. I'm a guy, and the fact is, I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have sex early on, and I've actually been dumped before, so this goes both ways.

Just talk to him, tell him it's going too fast, and tell him straight out if you don't want him feeling your **** or whatever.
It's your body, it's your life. If you can't be in control over yourself enough to SPEAK UP AND SPEAK YOUR MIND, then it's not his fault for thinking you want to get nailed, right?

Answer 2

You already know its too soon. Tell him how it made you feel when things went too far. Dont feel u need to "put out" or lose him because your self respect and reputation are also on the line here. If he feels you were too easy thats the impression that will always stay in the back of his mind. If hes not around hes gonna wonder if some other guy can sweet talk u into bed too... But if he knows how long he had to wait then his trust for you goes way up and you become gf material. Its a test for both of you . You make the rules and and if hes a decent guy he'll stick around. Guys will always try to push the limits so its up to you keep him in check.

Answer 3

Yes, talk to him.

If you loose him, then, that is it.

Read my article on the related subject.

In this type of relationship a girl has lot more to loose or suffer or both then a man or a boy.

So if you do not want it to happen, say no and mean it and make it clear, you are just not ready to take it to another level.
**********************
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By
Minootoo


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Build a carrier, youth comes but once take full advantage of it. Study hard, play some enjoy friendship, and then at age 30 if still unattached then try the sites like.

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Answer 4

Truth...?

Talk to him. And if he has a problem with slowing down and wants to discontinue the relationship because of that then he's not worth it. A man will wait for a woman until she is ready, even if that means marriage if that is what the woman chooses.

Whether you are moving too fast is really up to you, but if you feel 'easy' after he leaves then you feel that you are moving too fast.

Just talk to him though. If he says it's cool then he's a good guy. If he says he wants to keep moving at a pace faster then you are comfortable with then he's probably not that good a guy to begin with.

Answer 5

Yes, you are moving too fast because as you said you feel like **** when he leaves. If you talk to him about it before you start fooling around again I think he'll be in a better headspace to listen to you.

If he decides to be a jerk about it remember that YOU didn't ruin the relationship, okay? Sometimes people want different things from a relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 6

Dear Amanda, you need to set down some rules with this guy. Dating is fun and touching is all about learning the other body's around us. Men want sex, women want good feelings. it is not a even match yet, so don't rush any of this and let him no you don't want to feel bad after ward, and until you feel good about doing more you have set a limit. Please respect it or we will have to stop all of this.

being young is hard and fun, but you will get thru it just fine.

merry Christmas

Answer 7

If you have to ask, then YES you're moving too fast. Have a little self-respect and stop taking off your clothes so early into the relationship. If you're afraid he's going to bail because you say no then he's NOT the type of guy you want to be with in the first place.

Answer 8

Don't do anything you don't want to do, thats my advice. Don't be pressured. There is no set time in what you should be doing but from what I can see your in no rush and he is, probably because he may be young and you drive him wild. Never have sex until you are ready.

Answer 9

talking to him is probably a good idea that way you dont get caught in a bad situation. or you can just not let him take it any farther then your comfortable. slowing down is probably a good idea. moving too fast can cause regrets.

Answer 10

Good communication leads to a strong relationship. You need to tell him to slow down a bit. I think that it is too soon. Tell him that good things come to those who wait.