spouces that drink too much?

Question

my man drinks ALOT. he drinks about a fifth of vodka daily. MOST of the time the alcohol dosent affect the household, and the kids NEVER see him trashed. its just sometimes one thing or another eats at him and he wont let it go. now hes getting to the point that he'll start drinking about 4 pm and drink till he passes out, and always wakes up puking. i try to tell him all the drinking is killing him, but he throws in my face that im a smoker, and that is killing me. and to be perfectally honest, if he asked me to quit smoking right now, id say i couldnt, nor do i want to quit. so he gives me the same answer when i mention his drinking. what do i do?

Answer 1

There are some pretty good answers here, but one thing that I haven't seen mentioned by ANYONE is the fact that the BODY can grow addicted to alcohol.

If a person consumes alcohol on a regular basis, the body grows used to it, and if the person all of a sudden tried to quit cold turkey, they would have withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes the symptoms are just annoying, but other times they can actually be life threatening.

If you love him, you love yourself, AND you love your children, then the two of you need to stop your habits TOGETHER!

Chances are, even if your children don't act up in school, at least one of them will grow up and inherit your habits. In that case, you've not only killed yourself, but your child as well.

Something to think about. I pray for the best for you, your husband and your family.

Answer 2

Alcohol will kill him much faster than smoking will kill you. At the rate he is drinking you have a crisis on your hands. If the alcohol doesn't kill him the side effects are dangerous too, he could get killed in a car accident and even kill other people.

Alcoholics get used to being drunk and can appear 'normal', but B.A.C. is a simple ratio and they ARE drunk, no matter how they appear at a certain point. After a fifth of vodka, they definitely are.

The last thing I would add is that there is a serious addiction, and probably other underlying problems that are still unresolved that lead to the excessive drinking (ie. depression, anxiety, whatever) that need to be addressed as well as the addiction itself.

In comparison, smoking - which has it's effects on health, and is an addiction, is relatively benign. It would be beneficial like some others have already mentioned for you to give that up for your sake and to give support to him as well.

Chances are that he doesn't think what he does is a problem and some sort of intervention may be required. If someone I cared for had the same problem, you could bet that I would find some organization or therapist that could be of assistance.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

He's a straight up alcoholic! Smoking cigarettes is equally bad for your health but there IS a difference. Smoking doesn't impair your ability to be a good mother (right now, anyway). If you think your kids don't know what's going on, just wait a few years when they're out of control and getting into trouble at school...you will learn that they've been aware of his problem all along. The sad part is that there is really nothing you can do to make him stop drinking. Good luck.

Answer 4

You have to make a stand, for your sake and your children. Smoking is not good for you, but he is just using that as an excuse. He wont quit drinking even if you stop smoking. Alcoholism is a disease, and he has to see the truth about the outcome if he continues. I tried once to stop someone from drinking, tried everything, refused AA, treatment, everything. I heard the classic you do this Ill quit. It was BS, the only person that can stop him from drinking is HIM. You need to get you and the kids to Al-Anon, cause this will take its toll on you. Oh my special friend, he died a month ago, of Liver failure at a very young age, because of his drinking. I tried for years to stop him from killing himself- finally walked away from it because of the stress, and seeing I was an enabler I only say this to you, because I understand and I know the toll this is taking on you.

Answer 5

First of all if he is your boyfriend get away from him as
soon as possible but if you really care about him tell
him he needs AA or he's going to die. Second of all
all alcoholics like to make non-alcoholics feel bad
about themselves, that's why he's mentioning your
smoking. Smoking doesn't cause you to pass out,
or vomit. This man has a serious disease that should
not be taken lightly. Try to seek help for him, if he refuses
then walk out the door and don't look back.

Answer 6

Smoking can't be compared to drinking. He's using that as an excuse to place blame with you so he doesn't have to take a good hard look at what he's doing.

The best thing you can do is leave him before it starts affecting your kids.

Answer 7

I was there 22 yrs ago. I drank a quart of vodka a day, my wife got me to go into rehab by intervention, and saved my life. I was 40 yrs old. I quit smoking 2 yrs later. married 43 years now and happier than I have ever been. you need to help him get sober you won't regret it. you dr can help and AA will also. Find out about intervention in your area from AA

Answer 8

You need to set and example and quit smoking and tell him to quit drinking in fact give him a choice stop or loose me and the kids and just let him know thtz how it has to be but you'll be there to help him through it... Cuz he will damage his liver drinking like this and its and addiction like any addiction and it will only get worse...remember that.

Answer 9

Seriously you should introduce another sex partner. This will get his mind off the alchol. All the talk and threats are meaningless. Just find some hot willing woman to get it on with. Mind over matter you know.

Answer 10

I know this is hard addiction to beat any is and the best you can do is go to a local free AA meeting with him.
easier said than done.But is worth of try.


and during the holidays get's worse.

happy holidays