Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell..
How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent
man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
2007-12-22 09:00:02 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Why did God create man before woman? Because you need a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men.
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manuals".
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
What did God say after creating man? "I can do better."
2007-12-22 09:01:12 · update #1
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? a) One. Men will screw anything. b) One. Men will screw up anything. c) Five. One to do the screwing, and four to listen to him
brag about it. d) One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to
revolve around him.
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? He wouldn't ask for directions.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first name basis with the one who makes their decisions.
How many men does it take to change the toilet paper roll?
Nobody knows - it's never happened.
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the **** out of you.
What do an anniversary, a toilet, and a clitoris have in
common? Men always miss them.
Why do women fake orgasm? Because men fake foreplay.
2007-12-22 09:01:32 · update #2
*standing ovation* If I could, I'd give you more than one star!! You're beautiful!
2007-12-22 14:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HAHA!! i have a joke for you.
God was working on creating a human. He created a woman first. But he gave her three boobs. He decided that was a stupid idea and threw the one into the bushes. the woman asks god.
"God, i need company, will you make me a friend?" God thinks this is a good idea so he asks her
"Where's that useless boob i left lying around?"
2007-12-23 17:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lol Honey how very true this is,but you will have to watch your back cause some guys might just like to kick a**se hey?xxx
2007-12-22 17:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by Wonderstar 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hehehe
thats so cute
lol
u made fun of ur kind the whole time and brougt up some interesting points...have a star =]
2007-12-22 17:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I like all of them and every single one is 100% true lol.
2007-12-22 18:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG you should be the funniest man on earth becausae these jokes kick ***
2007-12-22 17:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
i luv all of them especially the pig and asking for directions joke
2007-12-22 23:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by :] 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol, 10/10, very funny indeed.
Star awarded to you my friend.
Wishing you and your family
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
and
A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008.
2007-12-23 04:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by xyz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
did you get this for me?? you shouldn't have..
But soo glad you did !!! LOL
Correction It only takes one guy to tile the BR floor no matter how you slice him!!! :)
2007-12-22 17:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by Babette 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
funny but arent you supposed to be sticking up for the male species???? star4u
2007-12-22 17:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋