are we to blame for our kids growing up to fast?

Question

my daughter is 9 and a half going on 16!!! ive always tried to let her make desicions about her life(nothing serious though), but when i think of what i was like at her age i was still playing with my sindy doll!! these days our kids have everything, laptops, wii`s, nintendo ds, didgital camera`s, ipods, phones, is it all our fault? are we making up for what we never had as children? or are children just older and wiser these days? answer`s appreciated guys x

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

Its partly parents and partly society I think. Since out there in the real world is so cut-throat nowadays, and only the prepared seem to get by, it kind of puts the emphasis on kids growing up faster than kids of previous generations. Also I think it depends on how the family unit is performing on a financially and emotionally level. Kids from struggling families will tend to see the real world sooner, realising the value of money and not wanting to be in that situation when they grow up. On an emotional level, where the family is fighting alot can do it too. I guess it comes down to exposure to adult problems and responsibilities. Another factor is like you've already stated, iPods, laptops, mobile phones etc, and parents wanting to make up for things they never had. Theres a few contributing factors so I guess all I can suggest is encourage her to not worry about life decisions just yet and enjoy her childhood while it lasts.
Kind of funny that when we were kids we thought the grown up world was so great and you'd be able to do whatever you liked. When we hit the grown up world and got to see what it was all about and the responsibilities that came with it all we'd just about want to be kids again.

Answer 3

When I was a child I had a camera-my parents never minded as it started me off into photography as a hobby.

I also had a walkman which took a tape (remember those?!) when I was 9 as I was always into music in a big way.

I also had a Game Boy Original when I was 9 (Tetris!!)

The thing was, I was also into Lego, Barbie, MatchBox cars, drawing, playing out with my mates...the list I did as a kid was endless. I think kids aren't kids any more as a result of both parents and advertising.

High heeled shoes for a 9 year old. A mini skirt and halter top for a 10 year old. Bratz dolls that encourage little girls to be a certain way to fit in. Make up sets that are aimed at young girls of around 10 plus...and the parents who give in to them.

A kid will be a kid as long as they are treated as such.

Answer 4

I think it is not just how they are raised but society in general. I see kids as young as 10 now stood by the local shop drinking and smoking. When i was that age i was still playing with my dolls and barbies. I want to keep my little girl as a child for as long as possible but i imagine that will be hard. It is such a shame as they seem to grow up way to fast. I know what you mean about the game consoles though. My nephew is 5 and already has a Nintendo D's and PlayStation 3. He doesn't play outside much as he is always playing on them. I don't think it is wrong him having them as long as it is balanced out with 'normal' child like play times

Answer 5

And you dont think our parents were the same. No its all around them, and you. Its the TV, its the government. Sad really because they seem to loose so much. When I was 9 I used to go miles thru the woods, now the M41 at Chipperfield, and be gone all day by 11 I would get a green or red rover and tour around London with my 6 year old sister in tow, so, who grew up fast, my mother had a full time job at 14.
Its relative, the bit that I worry about is that there is no world awareness now, just a pressure to be narrow minded and go to university to try to learn in a couple of years what we learnt in a lifetime. However, frequently commonsense is no longer in the equation.
Ah well, ce la vie.

Answer 6

Children are inundated with advertising these days, and of course kids are going to compare what they have to what other kids have. Toys are also made that condition kids to be consumers, such as toy cel phones.Parents are in a difficult position. But I don't think it is what kids have that makes them grow up too fast, but the way in which those things are used--which should of course be monitored closely by parents. Children aren't wiser or smarter--no matter what toys or devices a child has, it is the parents' influence over the child and those items that matters most.

Answer 7

First and foremost, your daughter is NOT 9 going on 16; this has to be the most trite, overused, pointless cliche' used.

Second, clearly you have offered, given entirely too many gadgets for a 9 year old. Many children today have little ability to entertain themselves or simply sit quietly to think or read or relax without background noise of the television, ipod, computer, phone.

Go for a walk with her, go to the park, sit and read a book, let her enjoy being a child.

Answer 8

I'd say so. I'm 15, and my parents have never raised me that way. I mean they let me make decisions, but more serious stuff like what crowd to hang out with. And after they taught me right from wrong, I feel I have made the right choices. They are against me having my own laptop and cabel in my room. The most acces to the media I have is a PS3 which has a basic internet browser and online games, and that took me forever to convince them to let me have. But I know what your saying. I was riding on the bus home yesterday listening to my Zen (not an iPod) and these two girls on the bus were just taking pictures of everybody with their cameras. I didn't know what to make of it. I don't understand the point of taking pictures of something you do every day. I have a camera, but I use it on vacations for scenery, where I don't get to go everyday. Funnier yet, they were holding the cameras in a way so they could take a picture of themselves. Why take a picture of something you see in the mirror daily?

Answer 9

I honestly think it is a bit of both. We are pushing more on our kids nowawdays. However, they are also absorbing so much more because, well there's just more at their fingertips. We have so many educational toys now, kids have such a greater oppurtunity to learn at such an early age in comparison to how we grew up and I am only 27. I do make a concerted effort to keep my little ones "little" as much as I can without keeping them "dumb". There are some really neat things out there they just don't need. Also, there are some things which I think will greatly help them.

Answer 10

I think certain things we can blame our selves for such as if your daughter had a boyfriend at that age u can simply not let her see him wich sometimes wont stop them but helps.. Things such as nintendos ,ipods, phones is just the "in" thing nowa days ..Technology has taken over our kids ..but you can teach them to learn that material things arent everything and that they can have as much fun playing with "sindy dolls" as if they played with those other things..

take care and keep doin your thing mom :-)

merry christmas

Answer 11

If we as parents had said an almighty 'no' to the media and commerce who told us our kids needed and wanted these things, then all 9 yr olds would be playing with their sindies. Me, I was still climbing trees and thinking boys were for fighting til I was 16