thay are very jelous that we do so much with my family. My husband loves to be around my family..he has so much fun..but when we go around his family , the only thing thay talk about is what is wrong with them...I dread going ...thay always bring up my husband x-wife..its just the little remarks ..thay just totaly get on my nerves..and I would never let my family do that to my husband...never ever..so what can I do to make this a good x-mas dinner...please help
2007-12-22 08:17:36 · 24 answers · asked by Pat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Pat,
Put a smile on your face. Then lean your head to one side and let it go in one ear and out the other!!!!!
nfd♥
2007-12-23 03:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by fishineasy™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thay are very jelous that we do so much with my family. My husband loves to be around my family..he has so much fun..but when we go around his family , the only thing thay talk about is what is wrong with them...I dread going ...thay always bring up my husband x-wife..its just the little remarks ..thay just totaly get on my nerves..and I would never let my family do that to my husband...never ever..so what can I do to make this a good x-mas dinner...please help
2007-12-22 16:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Same happens with me. My family always argues. The problem is that I don't care about x-mas, but it's my mother's b-day. We all open our presents at midnight. This Monday I'm just showing up at 11:30, opening the presents, and leaving as soon as I pick up my wrapping paper mess. So I suggest you arrive just in time for dinner and leave right after. Or you can talk to them and let them know how you feel about them talking about your husband's ex. When my sister spoke about my ex in front of my husband my dad literally told her to get out of the house and just because her marriage wasn't going good, she didn't have to try and make mine like hers. Have your man speak up. It's disrespectful towards you that they talk about her, don't matter if it's good or bad talk.
2007-12-22 16:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by e_rod382@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with your husband before the dinner & tell him that this makes you uncomfortable, and you would like his x-wife to be kept out of the conversation. Ask him to present that to his family. It's called "setting a boundary." If he doesn't, take a deep breath the moment they bring her up, and say something like, "Let's just talk about nice things tonight, shall we?"
2007-12-22 16:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by windybreeze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You remember that this is Christmas and it only comes once a year. You understand that this kind of family discomfort is very common but we go because we love them anyway. Even tho its your husbands family and not much fun, you do this for him so his family ties remain close. His mom won't always be here. Be a responsible adult and do what you know is right.
2007-12-22 16:25:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you could try just completely ignoring and refusing to respond to the snarky crap, changing the subject to something more positive instead. maybe they will eventually get the hint. if not, then just get through it for the shortest amount of time practical and leave. then, next time they want you to come over, you would have to just level with them and tell them honestly that the little comments make you uncomfortable. don't speak for your husband, he has to do that himself.
best of luck to you. my grandmother is very snarky and nasty about my stepmother, and we often have to let her know that we don't enjoy listening to her vent all the time. she's usually taken aback for a moment, but she gets over it and actually *does* try to do better the next time. i hope it's the same for you.
2007-12-22 16:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do they really know how much it upsets you? If you hit the point where you can't take it, stand up, walk out, and go home. It may make for an awkward Xmas this year, but if they get the hint that you won't stand for it, hopefully they will stop. Good luck!
2007-12-22 16:21:03 · answer #7 · answered by alyosha_snow_crash 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
About all you can do is tell your husband that such remarks bother you, and you would prefer not to hear negative comments about his ex wife. If they start, and he doesn't stop them with a comment like "Let's not talk about those who aren't here", ask him to take you home.
2007-12-22 16:22:44 · answer #8 · answered by oklatom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. breathe. relax. let it go.
2. just be quiet
3. practice accepting and loving them just like they are
wanting them to change or be different leads to you being upset. realize they will be that way and don't let it bother you. or just go for a walk outside if it does or hang out in a different room. the key is accept them totally instead of trying to make them change to suit what you want.
2007-12-22 16:21:01 · answer #9 · answered by Sufi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just put up with this once a year or few time a year and just forget about it after that.
Do not confront.
Do not bring it home when you leave their home, leave it at their door.
Keep the trips, minimum in counts per year and amount of time per trips.
2007-12-22 16:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋